Poorly Summarized

A twenty-something Reddit user discovers not every household is equipped with a poop knife, former Facebook VP apologizes for initializing the downfall of civilization, and a Thai cosmetic surgery shop makes headlines for its penis bleaching. Links: [Light] I was 22 years old when I learned that not every family has a poop knife. : confession Former Facebook exec: Social media is ‘ripping apart’ society | New York Post Thai penis whitening fad drives social media nuts, SE Asia News & Top Stories - The Straits Times

Trump reassures the nation of his mental stability through a series of unhinged tweets, the New York Times throws shade at deceased Mormon president, and Mike and Justin discuss media bias and echo chambers. Links: Thomas Monson, President of the Mormon Church, Dies at 90 - The New York Times Statement from President Donald J. Trump Regarding the Passing of Thomas S. Monson, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints | The White House Trump Calls Buchanan A `Hitler Lover' - tribunedigital-orlandosentinel

Russian immigrants “ruin” grits, Justin corrects his philosophy on tipping, Mike introduces a new pornographic genre to a crowd, and Donald Trump eats like a poor person’s idea of a rich person.Links: Donald Trump’s diet is driven by fear. I tried it for a day - The Globe and Mail Daring Fireball: Trump, Behind Closed Doors, on Haitians and Nigerians

Mike and Justin discuss the ethics of onanism, patriotism and various other isms. Links:A Virginia Democrat won her recount by a single vote.

Mike visits a gay bar and learns exactly how hot (or not) he is, Roy Moore almost becomes a senator, woman claims she’s had sex with 20 ghosts, and John learns to use food to assert his control over a Boy Scout.Links: Roy Moore: Last Time America Was 'Great' Was During 'Slavery' Trump Super PAC Gets 12-Year-Old Girl To Interview Roy Moore | HuffPost Roy Moore on whether he dated teenage girls: “Not generally, no” - Vox Woman Claims She's Had Sex With 20 Ghosts -- And Prefers Them To Men | HuffPost You Can Now Buy A Chocolate Mold Of Your Lover’s Anus. I Repeat, Your Lover’s Anus. - Awkward.com

Trumped Up returns. Links: Chris Christie fetching Trump McDonald's was fake story, former adviser claims Aleksey Vayner

Mike and Justin discuss birth, death and hypothetical gay sex. Links: Dad petitions school to change mascot since "phoenix" sounds like penis Jules on Twitter: "Roy Moore & his wife literally took an old letter of support by 53 pastors, and forged it to make it seem like he was still supported AFTER the allegations of sexual assault on minors came out. So far, multiple people named in the letter have demanded they be removed from it." Summarizing Things Poorly with Mike Smith | The Skeptic Studio

Roy Moore, Louis C.K., Boy Scout miscellany and 280-character tweets.Links: Justin on Twitter: "2,067 replies and 40 likes. Yep, that turned out exactly as you’d expect. https://t.co/W7STYjf5Ti" 53 Alabama Pastors Sign Petition Supporting The Character Of Roy Moore - The Intellectualist Keith Boykin on Twitter: "When Obama was in office, only 30% of white evangelicals would forgive a president's immoral behavior. Now it's 72%. https://t.co/c6FlHbziMi https://t.co/VTNov7TJRk" Russia to Bulgarians: Please stop painting over Soviet-era monuments to look like Ronald McDonald and Superman | National Post Summarizing Things Poorly with Mike Smith | The Skeptic Studio | Spreaker

Mike describes a faith discussion cut short with an estranged friend and the Boy Scouts of America’s new policy allowing girls to participate. Links:The State of Free Speech and Tolerance in America | Cato Institute

The guys take a week off and fill the void with an episode from our Patrons-only podcast, Mike’s Mission Journal.

Mike and Justin explore the line between honesty and provocation. Links:Plan Your Visit – Craigdarroch Castle

Trump offers his thoughts on the Las Vegas massacre, Mike defends politicizing a tragedy, California school flutes get contaminated with semen given to California students, and an historic grain silo is converted into cylindrical art galleries. Special Guest: Joshua Leigh Wolfe.Links: FCC calls on Apple to activate FM chips in iPhones for public safety - Sep. 28, 2017 FM chips After Hurricane Maria, 95 percent of Puerto Rico still without power - ABC News Remarks by President Trump in Briefing on Hurricane Maria Relief Efforts | whitehouse.gov Charmin offers ‘Mad Pooper’ a year’s supply of toilet paper if she turns herself in | fox13now.com Flutes possibly contaminated with semen given to California students, schools warn - Chicago Tribune Stupid Shit My Friend Post An Historic Cape Town Grain Silo Converted into 80 Cylindrical Art Galleries | Colossal

BYU students get caffeinated soda, NFL players’ protests are contrasted with Tim Tebow’s prayerful touchdown celebrations, and ‘hepeating’ is the new mansplaining. Links: Trump physically mocks McConnell, McCain after bad day — Angry Trump physically mocks McConnell, McCain after bad day Trump Tweets Doctored GIF of His Golf Ball Hitting Hillary Clinton - The New York Times Trump Likely Didn’t Violate Records Law by Deleting Luther Strange Tweets | National News | US News Poll: 61% Oppose Firing NFL Players Who Refuse to Stand for National Anthem, but 65% of Republicans Say Players Should be Fired | Cato @ Liberty Trump-Bannon trypophobia image

Trump calls out racists on Twitter, the Mad Pooper terrorizes Colorado Springs, 12 ways to know you’re brainwashed, sign language interpreter falls back on gibberish, and subversive MTA ads make a point. Special Guest: Kael Alden.Links: Ex-BYU player Reno Mahe pleads no contest to stealing gas | Deseret News Police flooded by media requests for 'Mad Pooper' story - KOAA.com | Continuous News | Colorado Springs and Pueblo Sign Language Interpreter Warned of ‘Pizza’ and ‘Bear Monster’ at Irma Briefing - The New York Times

Ted Cruz’s Twitter account likes a porn video, Florida sheriff warns against shooting into the hurricane, alt-right violence is compared to “communist flag wavers”, a date goes south after a bathroom mishap, and Katerina Kamprani creates utterly useless art objects. Special Guest: Konrad Vernor.Links: Donald Trump Jr. to Meet With Senate Russia Investigators - The New York Times Trump Jr. to Senate: I met with Russians to check Clinton’s fitness for office. 'Dick for Two,' the Porn Ted Cruz's Account Liked on Twitter, Finds Huge New Audience - Motherboard Ted Cruz Insists 'It Was Not Me' in Awkward Interview About Porn and Sex Toys Donald Trump Autographs The Wall At Houston Evacuation Shelter, And No One Knows Why... Skin-walker - Wikipedia Don't Fire Guns at Hurricane Irma, Florida Police Warn Bristol stool scale - Wikipedia Woman ends Tinder date stuck in window trying to grab her own poop | New York Post Skinwalker Ranch - Wikipedia Tweets by Pasco Sheriff (@PascoSheriff) – Twitter SSMFP The Uncomfortable: A Series of Inconvenient Household Items Designed by Katerina Kamprani | Colossal