El Sooper PODCAST!!

THIS WEEK there is NO MATT but there's a SMATT! and a Jessie Marie!! We talk about Beto O'Rourke's mouth, what? and also hyper-personal social media, and el Sooper talks about the Aztecs gods with flayed human skin, and don't get all judgey, also RASHIDA TLAIB IS INSANE and we declare a state of mexmergency and the media LIED about Ocasio's dancing, never happened, never happened!! And we need more memes about the podcast, get crackin! Orale! You have to listen now!!

THIS WEEK!!! We come back from the Christmas New Year's break with a blockbuster mediocre podcast just for you!! Don’t ask matt where the gatorade is or you’ll get some hatorade from him, and he doesn’t look like a butcher, and definitely not about the chitlins and not the poke chops dammit!! Also el Sooper is absolutely mexasperated with politics and he just came back from a vacation so what the heck, hermano?! No luck for you, Matt. Also MATT hates fireworks, then we have fond memories of #RedEye,and hamhocks and then we talk about Schweinshaze and then we talk about Europe, it’s GREAT!! Also it’s shut the eff up Friday, and we go over the most awkward quotes from 2018. WOW!! You have to listen now!!

THIS WEEK we fire Matt and we only have SMATT!! and Jessie Marie - an all minority podcast!! We flounder in mediocrity for 53 glorious minutes!! Then Jessie Marie ACCUSES el Sooper of acting like MATT when he’s NOT!! Also we talk about hei hei and Moana and why el Sooper thinks ALL Disney movies are bad for lil children and their moral development and he even talks about philosophy WOW!! Also el Sooper talks about how he knows he’s hit the bigtime, and we talk about glitter bombs, and it’s really good wow!! You have to listen now!!

THIS WEEK Jessie Marie tells us she can sleep through a train driving through her home, and we talk about the chatahootchie, and intercourse and Mexico, also el Sooper mexplains the difference between workin’ moms and stay-at-home-and-work moms, also there are fat diabetes-ridden kitchen fingers and non-hatchimals, and Mr. Soop, the serial killer, slaps down the Russian state robot fakery and there are emotional support squirrels!!! WOW!! You have to listen now!!

THIS WEEK we hire Jessie Marie Heddings again after el Sooper not being able to replace her with cheap Mexican labor unfortunately. Anyway, we talk about the incredible eulogy that George W. Bush gave for his dad, and then we babble on about all sorts of stuff like PETA and how they're 1% right (hear me out on this), also more Katchup references, and rebar-face defends the guy who called out Kanye West on his iPhone and we make fun of Matt's mymicrophone, and el Sooper says that dark-skinned vegetables might actually be evil!! Aaaaand SMATT!! goes on about bullying and iphone and ipads and how they're just turrible! Turrible!! You have to listen right now!!

THIS WEEK wow we have a pretty decent conversation for once. All we had to do was get rid of that angry mean Korean lady. She's GONE!! So el Sooper and MATT talk about how to raise your kids... the sooper way. No really, that's what we talk about. LISTEN NOW!!

THIS WEEK el Sooper cannot figure out why Trumpy Bear became a thing, also we discuss the astounding new physics-defying way that Jess cell-phoned herself in the face, and how haunted neighbors killed stray cats or clowns or something, and the joy-stick, and bionic-dayaaaaamber, also there’s alien adoption!! Also el Sooper discusses “Children of God” on Netflix and it’s amazing, and el sooper also soopsplains Jacob Wohl and Avenatti’s troubles!! WOW!! You have to listen now!!! Also there is an extra for the papillons with the story of rebar-face and kitchen nuggets and why Jess is WRONG about fat kids getting diabetes packets from the government!!

THIS WEEK el Sooper is visited by el MATT and no Jess, it’s a no-Jess podcast!! We talk about the results of the midterm election, and el Sooper esplains the Q-Anon conspiracy and ties it into a conservative view of human behavior, oh wow, also Matt rhymes words for no reason, and there are shenanigans and MATT gives his prediction for 2020 and el Sooper mocks Petho O’Rourke!! Also the Senamitt!! AND the Acosta news breaks while we’re recording! WOW!

THIS WEEK I SCREWED UP and sent a 23 minute edition of the podcast? Oops. Anyway, here's the entire podcast, sorry about that. SO THIS WEEK we talk about the mistakes we made in the great Stirewalt podcast interview last week, and also we talk about Makaveli the monkey at a funeral, posthumous comments from Otto Von Bismarck, a Mexican Wikipedia standoff, and el Sooper esplains why he was NOT mocking Grace Coolidge, who was a lovely first lady, then MATT talks about everyone he met at CPAC for like the fiftieth time, and el Sooper soopsplains the ENTIRE JACOB WOHL smear against Robert Mueller!!! Also the theological roots of prayer in sports!! WOW you have to listen right now!!

This week is the special Chris Chris Chris Stirewalt edition!! We were finally able to get our schedules worked out, and he joins the mediocre-Mexican and Jessica Heddings on our poorly edited podcast with terrible sound quality, despite the destruction it would do to his good reputation. We discuss his great great book “Every Man a King,” a history of populism in America. We have a few sound quality problems, but it’s overall decent listening. Wow was this fun. Give it a listen, let us know what you think, and pick up his book. Go listen now!!

THIS WEEK!! We talk about the crazy racialist ad for a Republican that went out on the radio, and we discuss this is what happens to our husbands, our sons, when a white girl lies on them! Don't be messin' around wit' dat!! And how did Roberto O'Rourke get his name? MATT tells us!! Also we make fun of Big Chief 1/10024th Liz Warren, and el sooper pats himself on the back a few times and STOP DMing Matt with the same joke, or not, who cares. And then SMATT goes nuts over a new African American movie, then he talks about the beer comity in the Buffalo Bills line, it's AMAZING!! You have to listen NOW!!

THIS WEEK!!! Matt tells us the legend of Juan Henry and el Sooper adds to the story by bringing in comic books and Shaq starred in it, also el Sooper soopsplains the simplest explanation for why Nikki Haley left us, and also SMATT tells us how he almost DIED this week!! WOW!! And Matt explains Sprockets and playing with monkeys, also what the heck is going on with Chris Stirewalting?! Also el Sooper mocks Brooke Baldwin and this is why Trump won, darn it!! WOW you have to listen right now!!!

THIS WEEK!! EL Sooper explains why his AirPods make him less loud, and then el Sooper tells us some great great boofing news, then Jess recalls how we got FFFFFFFlaked after the last podcast, then el Sooper GOES NUTS and CRAZY and RANTS about how biased the media is and how much he hates it and how much he loves el Trumpo now! WOW!! Also Jonah retweets and Jonah links and no MATT and definitely not about Reddit nope. You have to listen now!!!

THIS WEEK!!! El Sooper goes absolutely nuts over the incredible mendacity of the liberals and the democrats and the mainstream media on the Kavanaugh hearings. ANd I guess Jess and Matt were there. You have to listen!!!

In THIS week's non-Stirewalt edition of the no-MattCast, we welcome Jessica, who is neither Sitrewalt nor Matt, sorry!! But el Sooper is there, and he SoopSplains why the history behind north and south korea means you can’t just glue it back together! Also what is with those psoriaosis commercials, and el Sooper talks about his masculine relationships, and a Dork in a Mitten responds to my rants about Millennials, also are we senile yet? Also el Sooper esplains what conservative social scientists say the middle and upper class values aren’t being passed down and porque, porque?! Then we hear Jessica Heddings’ origin story!! WOW!!