The Baggage Reclaim Sessions

Trying to get something or someone to live up to the picture we painted in our mind can be a great source of hurt for us humans. It's something we have to strive to do less of to heal, grow and learn. What Natalie highlights in the first episode of 2020, though, is how part of what keeps us stuck in this disappointment cycle is that, sometimes, the very people who can't or don't want to meet those expectations *still* want us to continue expecting. Why? Because they benefit from it. Instagram: instagram.com/natlue Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Show notes: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/166 How To Say No ebook: https://store.baggagereclaim.co.uk/product/how-to-say-no-the-scripts-pre-order-out-jan-8th-2020/ Events: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/events Blog: www.baggagereclaim.com Membership: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/membership Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim

Natalie gets ready for her Christmas break and the new year and decade ahead by sharing her thoughts on the gift of acceptance. The Baggage Reclaim Sessions will return on January 10th 2020! How To Say No - The Scripts (pre-order): https://store.baggagereclaim.co.uk/product/how-to-say-no-the-scripts-pre-order-out-jan-8th-2020/ Instagram: instagram.com/natlue Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Show notes: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/165 Events: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/events Blog: www.baggagereclaim.com Membership: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/membership Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim

So many people wonder if they're in the right relationship, but plenty wonder if they're in the right job. Given how much time we spend at work, it's understandable that disillusionment or uncertainty about it can significantly impact our sense of wellbeing. Natalie takes a deep dive into the subject of work, including what causes us to question whether we're in the right job in the first place and the signs that suggest that we're not. Instagram: instagram.com/natlue Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Show notes: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/164 Events: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/events Blog: www.baggagereclaim.com Membership: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/membership Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim

In the second of this two-part episode, Natalie shares ideas for breaking the cycle of comparison. Part one: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/162 Instagram: instagram.com/natlue Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Show notes: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/163 Blog: www.baggagereclaim.com Membership: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/membership Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim

Do you feel inadequate around certain people or suddenly feel as if your life that you're normally happy with is like poop beside theirs? Do you come away from using social media feeling really low without realising it? Is there a persistent feeling and belief that you're not 'good enough'? These are all signs of comparison, something that all humans do but that we're often unaware of how much and how damaging it can be. In the first of this two-part episode, Natalie breaks down comparison, including sharing her own recent experiences of it. Instagram: instagram.com/natlue Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Show notes: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/162 Blog: www.baggagereclaim.com Membership: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/membership Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim

All humans desire acceptance the most, but a hell of a lot of us are scared of the real us being rejected and so we struggle to be ourselves. But this always leads to problems. Natalie shares lessons she's learned from spending the last few months conducting an experiment on being even more herself in a particular area of her life. Instagram: instagram.com/natlue Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Show notes: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/161 Blog: www.baggagereclaim.com Membership: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/membership Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim

Have you given you a hard time about interested in something or someone that turned out to be wrong for you? Or, has someone's change of interest in you or a relationship left you baffled and hurt? In this week's episode, Natalie explains why it's time to rethink our attitude to interest and recognise that interest is a hypothesis that we can learn from so that we can be more us and choose the relationships and things that reflect this. Instagram: instagram.com/natlue Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Show notes: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/160 Blog: www.baggagereclaim.com Membership: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/membership Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim

If you've ever been self-critical because you're stressed or feeling overwhelmed or low-energy, it's time to pay attention to these messages from your life. Natalie talks about the importance of recognising that we're stressed and over our bandwidth without having to burn out or melt down. Instagram: instagram.com/natlue Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Show notes: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/159 You Tube episode about mental health and black women: www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFZYeaUsWCQ Blog: www.baggagereclaim.com Membership: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/membership Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim

Tend to be hard on you and, for example, struggle to ask for help, feel like a burden, feel guilty for saying no, being you or having boundaries, or feel as if you parented your parents, raised your siblings or brought yourself up? There's a reason for that! Instagram: instagram.com/natlue Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Show notes: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/158 You Tube episode about mental health and black women: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FFZYeaUsWCQ Blog: www.baggagereclaim.com Membership: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/membership Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim

When we think that we (or others) are 'damaged goods' because of what might be a lack of relationship experience or time spent in unhealthy or unfulfilling relationships, this dents our confidence, limits our options, but also creates unnecessary judgement. Natalie offers up a different perspective on what the experience on our proverbial relationship resume means (and doesn't). Instagram: instagram.com/natlue Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Show notes: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/157 Blog: www.baggagereclaim.com Membership: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/membership Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim

What's the similarity between engaging with an ex who didn't treat us very well, feeling burnt out and resentful after taking on extra work, and deliberating about or regretting something that we know isn't/wasn't a fit? They're all things that we've done or are contemplating doing *because* we perceive them to be "opportunities". Natalie breaks down why we need to be more discerning about opportunities, including sharing some tips on recognising when something *isn't* the opportunity we think it might be. Instagram: instagram.com/natlue Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Show notes: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/156 Blog: www.baggagereclaim.com Membership: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/membership Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim

Do you hoard, clamp, shoot, get chatty, deny/mask or cry when you need to deal with uncomfortable feelings. Natalie follows up on the previous episode about why we don’t talk about our feelings by sharing six key ways we express (or don’t express) our feelings and how to evolve our habits. Instagram: instagram.com/natlue Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Show notes: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/155 Blog: www.baggagereclaim.com Membership: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/membership Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim

Expressing our feelings, not just to others, but also to ourselves, is crucial to our emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing as well as to the health and wealth of our interpersonal relationships. So, why then, do so many of us have a pattern of not expressing our feelings? Natalie explores these reasons and more in this episode, plus in the follow-up episode next week, she'll get into the practicalities of talking about our feelings and evolving our relationship with our emotions. Instagram: instagram.com/natlue Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Show notes: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/154 Blog: www.baggagereclaim.com Membership: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/membership Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim

When people ask or expect you to do something, or you're wondering whether there's a boundary issue, do you question whether you are being fair and reasonable in wanting or needing to say/show no? Or do you struggle to work out whether *they're* being unfair and unreasonable? If so, help is at hand. Natalie breaks down how to figure this out by acknowledging the context including your bandwidth, feelings, what's being asked/expected, and how they're going about things. Instagram: instagram.com/natlue Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Show notes: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/153 Blog: www.baggagereclaim.com Membership: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/membership Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim

If you've ever played matchmaker and had it backfire, or you've felt confused after being set up or recommending somebody, today's episode is for you. Natalie delves into some of the assumptions, biases and judgements that impair our judgement and shares tips for removing blind spots and enjoying more successful outcomes. Instagram: instagram.com/natlue Email: podcast@baggagereclaim.com Show notes: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/152 Blog: www.baggagereclaim.com Membership: www.baggagereclaim.co.uk/membership Twitter: twitter.com/baggagereclaim