Messy Parenting: Catholic conversations on marriage and family show

Messy Parenting: Catholic conversations on marriage and family

Summary: Parenting is not a clean-cut, simple process for those who like to follow the rules. Parenting is messy and unpredictable, but it is the greatest adventure you will ever have. We are Mike and Alicia Hernon, parents of 10 children ranging from 5 to 22 and we would like to invite you into some of the conversations we have had with each other about marriage, parenting, and Catholic family life. Our hope is that our conversation sparks a dialogue between you and your spouse that leads to greater unity and intentional Christian parenting in your home. Listen in to our podcast and start the conversation as we seek to lead our families to heaven. Show notes and links available at MessyParenting.org or MessyParenting on FaceBook.

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  • Artist: Mike and Alicia Hernon : Catholic Marriage Parent and Family

Podcasts:

 MP 034 : Challenges of Being a Millennial Parent | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 44:27

You might be a millennial parent if you… have more pictures of your kids than you do of yourself on social media, feed your kids only organic food, regularly ask the internet for parenting advice, have a tattoo or piercing, or… The generation born between 1980-2000 has a particular way of parenting that is unique. Recently TIME magazine ran an article called “Help! My Parents are Millennials!” and we thought it would be a good idea to address some of the issues it brought to light. This generation is effected by the culture in some very good ways, but also in some very unhealthy ways. Its important to be open-minded, tolerant, and questioning, but not at the expense of being obedient, respectful and humble. In this podcast we look at how Millennials are parenting their children and what their particular challenges are. Link to articles: * TIME Millennial parents raising kids poll * Summary from Mother Mag  

 MP 033 : Educational choices; how do you know what’s best for your child | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 47:28

“…parents must be acknowledged as the first and foremost educators of their children. Their role as educators is so decisive that scarcely anything can compensate for their failure in it.” ~ Familiaris Consortio #36 Making educational choices for our children is a task that is daunting and stressful for most parents. How do parents know what will be best for their children and for their family? The reality is that no one can make this decision for you. Parents need the grace of God to consider homeschooling, public school, or Catholic school and chose what is best for their child. In this podcast we give some principles that we have used to guide our decisions and share some experiences of all the different schooling options we have chosen.

 MP 032 : You can’t “Be anything you want to be” – Kids and Activities | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 40:58

“What I do, you cannot.  What you do, I cannot.  But together we can make something beautiful for God” ~ Blessed Mother Teresa In our culture today, kids have so many options for activities that it can be overwhelming!  How do you balance family life with sports, theater, groups, and community events especially when you have many children?  Exposure to different activities is important, because children have talents that should be discovered. Nevertheless, we are doing a great disservice to our kids when we tell them that they “can do anything they put their mind to” because that simply isn’t true.  We all have unique gifts given to us that we need to discover, and part of being a parent is to guide our children through this process and eliminate things on the way.  

 MP 031 : Family Pilgrimages | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 30:17

To go on pilgrimage really means to step out of ourselves to encounter God where He has revealed Himself, where His grace has shone with particular splendor, and produced rich fruits of conversion and holiness ~ Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI We as Catholics are incarnational people – part of the richness of being Catholic is that we can see and touch the elements of our faith!  Bringing our children to holy sites like special shrines, homes of the saints, or places of miracles helps us to make the faith real to them.  These aren’t just trips; pilgrimages are spiritual journeys that bring together what we know in our hearts and what we see with our eyes.  In this podcast, we share about two pilgrimages that we recently went on – to the Holy Land and to Philadelphia to see the Holy Father.   Listen in as we discuss how these holy journeys have strengthened our faith and inspired our children.

 MP 030 : Pope Francis, Controversy, and the Family | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 42:58

“Where there is a family with love, that family is capable of warming the heart of a whole city with its witness of love.” – Pope Francis Our Holy Father has a pastor’s heart, but often his quotes become controversial. He speaks directly to families, those suffering, and to those in power in a frank, honest fashion. With the Holy Father coming to the United States and the upcoming Synod on the Family, we are taking time in this podcast to discuss his words, some of his challenging comments, and why some of the things he says are taken in a negative light. We all have a responsibility to prayerfully reflect on his words with the knowledge that they are spoken by the Vicar of Christ. We welcome you to listen to our thoughts and share your opinions with us. Show Links * Live Stream of World Meeting of Families and Papal Visit * Prayer for the Synod on the Family * Love is our Mission: The Family Fully Alive

 MP 029 : Scripture and the Family | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 39:02

Pope St. Gregory: Learn the heart of God from the word of God. St. Jerome: Ignorance of Scripture is ignorance of Christ. How is the Word of God honored in our homes? God is present in His Word; do we truly realize that? As Catholics, we need to surround our children with scripture through stories, prayer, teaching, and song. We should be using the Bible to pass on the faith to our children, for it is through the Bible that they will come to know who Jesus is and hear Him speaking to them. Great Resources: * iBreviary * Scripture Studies from Scott Hahn and St. Paul Center * Alicia’s CD (songs help memorize scripture)

 MP 028 : Messy Parenting Guide to Dating | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 50:08

Nothing makes a father happier than seeing a daughter with a smile on her face and her boyfriend with fear in his eyes. – Willie Robertson Your natural instinct is to protect your daughter. Forget what pop culture and pop psychologists tell you. DO IT. – Dr. Meg Meeker Daughters AND sons need direction and guidance when it comes to dating. The world tells us that dating is private and we have no business “meddling” in our teens affairs. Nothing is farther from the truth! Kids need mom and dad’s wisdom on navigating the perilous world of relationships and emotions. We have some practical advice to give from our own experience that we can share with you. Parents have to be intentional about discussing relationships with their kids and make a safe place for them to be honest and vulnerable, so they don’t go seeking affirmation in the wrong places. Dating is another area in which Catholic families can affect the world in a positive way by our example. Listen in! Hernon Ground Rules for Dating (heavily copied from Jennifer Degler)

 MP 027 : Date Night | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 43:44

Your marriage is only as good as the work you put into it. A child-centered marriage is a recipe for disaster. Teach children early that their “happiness” is not Mom or Dad’s reason for living. ~Breathing Grace, Everything I Know About Marriage in 200 Words or Less How often to we take the time to show our spouse that they are “Number One” in our lives? Dedicated time alone without the children is an essential part of any healthy marriage. The foundation of your family is your marriage and we should never, ever take for granted that we are doing fine. In this episode we talk about the importance of a Date Night and Get Away Weekends. We also address two listener questions – one on toy guns and the other on how to have effective family time. Listen in and start the discussion on how and why we should all spend quality time with our beloved in order to improve our family life.

 MP 026 : Words Matter | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 32:10

“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” – Ephesians 4:29 The words that are spoken in our home can create an atmosphere of trust, openness and honesty or one of hostility and distrust. We need to banish from our homes sarcasm and negative humor because they tear down family members instead of building them up. There are many ways that we can use our words to encourage our children and our spouses. We need to take the time to honor and love our family with our words so our home can be a safe place for our children to thrive and grow.

 MP 025 : Creating Order in a Messy World | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 38:41

“Half of the time I feel like I’m running an insane asylum… the other half of the time I feel like I belong in one. “ There are so many needs pressing on parents, especially moms, all day, every day. How can we prioritize our time and energy to create an orderly life for ourselves and our family? In the book A Mother’s Rule of Life, Holly Pierlot describes the Six Priorities of Life that can help us create a routine in our day and make decisions that will help us use our time wisely and effectively. Despite what your children think, mothers can’t do everything! Moms (and dads!) can create a balanced life by giving priority first to Prayer then to Person, Partner, Parent, Provider, and Periphery (everything else!). If you enjoy this podcast, contact us about having Alicia come to speak to your parish or group to do a full presentation with more information on this topic.

 MP 024 : Party On! | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 28:23

“My name is Rod and I like to party.” – Andy Samburg in Hot Rod To be Catholic is to love to party, because every mass is a party and a foretaste of heaven! Celebrations are an important way to communicate our values to our children and to the world. By investing our time and treasure to gather friends and family together we are saying, “This is an important event!” As Catholics, we need to reclaim the sacraments and holidays as times to feast and celebrate. This is how we can rebuild our Catholic culture and revive our communities. Listen in as we tell you about the crazy party WE had last weekend!

 MP 023 : Friendship and our kids | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 36:44

Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. ~George Washington A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter. He who finds one finds a treasure. Sirach 6:14 It doesn’t take a village to raise a child, but the village is certainly an important part of his growth and development! The friendships that our children have are an important training ground for life, even at the earliest age. As parents, we can’t micromanage our children’s friendships, but we can guide them and provide a fertile environment for healthy relationships to grow. It’s important to do this when they are young, because as they grow friendships become more and more important and parents have less and less influence over those friendships. Listen in as we discuss this topic and its importance in the lives of our children.

 MP 022 : Dealing with Loss | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 46:20

“Why did God make you? God made me to know Him, to love Him, and to serve Him in this world, and to be happy with Him for ever in heaven.” – Baltimore Catechism Dealing with the loss of life is difficult for adults and for children. Our generation is more poorly equipped than any other before us to deal with this issue, because we have been told that we are in control of our own lives, and this simply is not true. As Catholics we have a the great gift of our faith to form our hearts and inform our minds so we can embrace the suffering that death brings. In this podcast we share our own stories of loss and give some ideas for talking with your children about this issue. This podcast ends with a special song written by a mother who suffered the loss of her child and God’s response to her. Show Notes: * Cornerstone of Hope ( great resource for those suffering from loss) * Story of our nephew Joshua Michael site (Regina Doman) * Interested in Alicia’s CD or music visit Alicia Hernon.com

 MP 021 : Visiting Family | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 40:10

Honor your father and mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you. ~ Deut 5:16 “Life is short, family is forever” We all have a family that we have come from, our family of origin, and sometimes they are very different than ourselves. Visiting grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and in-laws can be stressful, but it is also extremely important for the well-being of our children. In this podcast we talk about the importance of visiting family, but also some issues that couples need to discuss ahead of time.

 MP 020 : Marriage – Now What? | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 32:36

The task now for believers is to form our own families even more deeply in the love of God, and to rebuild a healthy marriage culture, one marriage at a time, from the debris of today’s decision. – Archbishop Chaput The Supreme Court’s decision to strike down the bans on same sex marriage in many ways was no surprise. The Judeo- Christian values that have supported our culture for so long have been eroding since the 1930s. In this podcast we share our reflections on this decision and what this means for our families going forward. We need to renew and strengthen the meaning and value of Catholic marriage so we can be a light in the darkness.

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