Thriving at Sixty and Beyond

One of the happiest moments is when you find the courage to let go of what you cannot change, and accept the way it is and isn’t. That’s when you will find freedom.  One story behind one of my happiest moments   I’ve been a member of Al-Anon since 1989.  It’s a 12-step program for people who have been affected by someone else’s drinking.  I started Al-anon when my daughter was 8 months old.  Her dad and I split because of his drinking.  Both my parents were alcoholics.  People don’t like to talk about that sort of thing.  I think the crazy-making in families is usually caused by some form of addiction.  There usually is a lot of denial about addictions and a lot of shame and guilt associated with the person addicted and their immediate denial and the other members of the family trying to control the person who is addicted.  Those members frequently go into denial and have shame and guilt. Everything and everyone seem to be out of control which causes craziness.  In Al-Anon, I learned to stop trying to control things and let go and let God. This story is in no way bad-mouthing my oldest daughter’s dad.  When we split, I had my own money.  I had owned a house in North Delta that I sold and bought the old Fort Hope Trading Post and renovated the upstairs and downstairs and made it an antique store below and living quarters above.  I hired contractors to help me renovate to make it livable. My daughter’s dad would come up most weekends with his then 10-year-old son and 13-year-old daughter and work with me until I got the store in shape to open.  After that, we only saw them once a month or so.  My daughter’s father was acholic and of course, I was attracted to alcoholics because of my upbringing.  It was comfortable and familiar.  I never saw that until years later when I saw the same pattern over and over again. Lots of value antiques were starting to go missing and I couldn’t understand that. Then one day I was down in Burnaby and my truck broke down. I called my daughter’s dad and asked if we could stay with him for a couple of days while my truck was being fixed, and he readily agreed.  When I walked into his home for the first time, I was shocked.  I saw all these antiques that had been stolen from my store.  I asked his 13-year-old daughter if she would watch her sister for 20 minutes while her dad and I talked privately in his car.  I was livid. He agreed to talk privately in the car. When we got there, I just confronted him with the thievery.  He denied it and told me this cock and bull story about me giving these items to him.  That made me angrier.  Then there was a moment of sanity when I got clear that he believed his own bull and that was the moment I got clarity. sanity and freedom. I saw how right I was, and he was going to stick to his story.  In that moment I got the insanity of active alcoholism. Even when the acholic is sober it can be insane but when they are drinking watch out.  If I kept trying to get him to see he was wrong, that I was right, he stole it would get crazier.  I saw he was sick and if I continued this conversation, I would be as sick as he was. When I finally accepted the way it was and the way it wasn’t. I had the courage to let go and let God.  I finally had the courage to put some boundaries in. I stopped making him wrong and I put some strict boundaries in.  I was able to say to him, I got you believe what you are saying. I don’t agree with your version and from now on when you visit your daughter you can no longer visit my shop. He sputtered a bit then let me continue.   If I see anything missing from my apt then you will have to visit our daughter outside....

Today I want to talk about fear again. I don’t think we can hear enough about interrupting our fears. The opportunity is to discover how do you take action regardless of your fear? It isn’t like fear is ever really going to disappear but we can walk alongside the fear and take action regardless of the fear. I did a post on Facebook and one of my clients thanked me for my coaching. It was so rewarding to know that he implemented what I had suggested regardless of his fear and it really worked out for him. As a coach, there is nothing more rewarding than having your clients succeed. One of the things I was able to acknowledge this gentleman for is that he called and took the coaching and implemented what I told him o do even though he was fearful. I also was able to acknowledge him for picking up the phone and asking for help, rather than staying stuck or paralyzed. Half the battle is picking up the five-hundred-pound phone. The next is taking the coaching and implementing it. He did both. This gentleman has created an online workshop and teaches people how to find jobs. He has been very successful at it and this is his first online course. He just needed to have someone believe in him and encourage him to go for it. He had let his saboteur’s voice stop him and he was so close to launching. We frequently let the little saboteur’s voice stop us but he knew enough to call me and interrupt that voice. That takes courage to share vulnerably. We usually get stopped because we don’t want to look stupid or needy. Fear false evidence appearing real Face everything and rejoice F everything and run He was ready to run. He had spent a year creating this course. It cost him time and money, he is brilliant at what he does. Often we get stopped just before completion. I got him to question his fear. I got him to look at his fear. Based on reality he saw for himself his fear was not real. I’m a kick-ass coach. I’m straight, loving and ruthless when needed. I don’t blow smoke up you’re you know what. I don’t hold your hand. I will grab your hand and guide you to take effective actions as you need to so you can produce the results you want. Regardless of your saboteur’s voice but first you need to have the courage to call me I won’t chase you down. Then you have to have the courage to implement the coaching. I invite you to look at where are you tolerating unworkability in your life because you are afraid to step out and risk someone’s anger, judgement, failure and so forth? Evaluate and contemplate is the fear real? Who could you talk to and examine if the fear is real or not? Are you willing to take new actions and walk alongside the fear? failure is, when you do not produce the result you said you wanted at that moment. Watch an infant learning to walk. They stand up and fall down repeatedly. They practice this many times until they walk. Then they have to keep practicing until they stop bumping into things. This could take doing it over and over again daily many times for a year. They don’t stop and question it, they keep going until they master it. If you are taking on anything new, expect fear to walk alongside you. Are you willing to fail? Just go for it. You have a chance to succeed if you just swing out. What is one new action you could take right now that could make a difference? Is this being fearful a habitual pattern? Have you had this experience before? Is this fear familiar? How old is this fear?

I did a humorous post recently but I believe it is based on reality. I’ll let you decide, the post went like this IT TAKES 6-8 PALLBEARERS TO LIFT YOU UP WHEN YOU ARE DECEASED. IMAGINE WHAT YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH IF YOU HAD 6-8 PEOPLE LIFTING YOU UP WHILE YOU ARE LIVING i INVITE YOU TO REREAD THAT! I am one of those fortunate people who have 6-8 people and more lifting me up while I’m living. I designed a 21- day challenge being Unstoppable, to cause you to cause a team around you. We forget about the power of having a team to support you. We forget about the power of requests. I was going through some challenging times in the last year. I have lost 8 people, two of them were only 28-year-olds suicides and one 26-year-old was murdered. I was going through some difficulty with a landlord that didn’t tell us we rented a drug house. Ugh! I also lost my mother and Auntie during this time. I needed to make requests for my community to help me. move three times. Pack me up, downsize me, put a garage sale on. Put stuff in storage, take stuff out of storage, unpack me, drive moving rental trucks. You can imagine, at times I hardly could think clearly. I had people asking their friends to help me. I needed to make requests of others. Fortunately, I didn’t have to wait till death for support. If it wasn’t for the team and the structures a team provided, I don’t know where I would be today. One of the structures I have is at least 6 scheduled calls weekly with other people I’m working with. I also have several committed listeners that I talk to weekly on a scheduled call. That keeps me on track and supports me to deal with what I have to deal with. The committed listeners listen to my greatness and support me in moving forward. I also am on a few teams for different projects. I had people lifting me up when I had a hard time lifting myself up. It took requests and allowed others to contribute to me. People I never met contributed to me and continue ongoingly to contribute to me. On our own, we can produce limited results. With a team that’s where magic and miracles can happen. With a team, we can stumble, and make mistakes and they will catch us. The feeling of being valued, and loved is heartwarming. Where in your life would you like to accomplish a project? Where would you like to create a team of people to support you to accomplish a project? I need to create a team of people to help create a birthday party bash for me on July 23rd at Port Kells Park in Langely. I also need to create a team to invite people to my actual birthday Friday on July 22nd, from 4 pm. to 6 p.m. pacific for all the out-of-town people and anyone who physically can’t come to Port Kells Park in Langley B.C. Life is so rewarding when you have people that will lift you up. Where in your life could you benefit by creating a team? What area of life could you use as a team? What is important to you that if you created a team it would be awesome? Go for it!  I want on my gravestone she burned out instead of rusted out!  What do you want them to say about you?Ask yourself are your actions and speaking are in alignment with what you are committed to? Look at what are the habitual patterns that have that commitment thwarted?  Are you willing to take responsibility for when it doesn’...

The story started in 2016 when I went to Mexico and bought a timeshare. When I was discussing this transaction with a Mexican businessman, he asked me to look at the legal papers. After checking the name of the company I bought the share from, he told me to halt the proceedings, he said the company was known to take advantage of people. The next day he and I spent half a day getting the legal papers to stop the transaction. Thank God I kept all the papers because the credit card company I used, verified everything and I was able to get my charge card reversed. What is sad is the timeshare was set up so real. We went to a beautiful hotel, off the water, toured the facility etc I’m curious how many people were taken in. Regardless I was very fortunate. About four months ago I got called by an investigator in Mexico bringing up this case from 2016. Asking for copies of my documentation. He said they were taking it to court and trying to get monies for all the people who were ripped off. They wanted us to have justice and prayed we would start coming back to Mexico. Then I got a call and a letter from the Investigator saying that judge had awarded each person a certain amount of monies depending on how much they lost. The monies would be put into a Mexican bank. We would get individual access once we applied for a particular no that foreigners needed to take money out of Mexico. Then the bank women called to verify who I was and to explain how much monies I would get and how to access those monies. Then I started being asked to purchase a document that would allow me to take monies out of Mexico. I refused and said I would need to have a lawyer check this out. I asked a girlfriend whose mom lives in Mexico to see if they knew any reliable lawyers. She did but he only spoke Spanish. I reached out to my virtual assistant who lives in Mexico. Corina agreed to talk with the lawyer, she explained what happened and he said he would check into it with no charge and get back to us. It took several weeks but he said it was an elaborate scheme. Lucky for me I did my due diligence and reached out to my resources and made the requests for help. Why I’m sharing this with you guys is that there are a lot of schemes out there. Smart people get taken. Watch out for your older parents and grandparents. Do your due diligence and watch out for the elderly. Sorry, I do not know how to get you the copy of the lawyer’s name I was unable to download the picture Go for it!  I want on my gravestone she burned out instead of rusted out!  What do you want them to say about you?Ask yourself are your actions and speaking are in alignment with what you are committed to? Look at what are the habitual patterns that have that commitment thwarted?  Are you willing to take responsibility for when it doesn’t go the way you want or the way you expected and clean up your part? Are you willing to let go of Expectations of yourself and others?  What are you not being truthful about to yourself and others?Our thoughts can be like a junk drawer-we need to take inventory and get rid of what is not useful! (wendy b)I want to personally hear about your dreams and goals.  I will give you one amazing tip that will help you out.  I give a complimentary discovery session to people who let me know they left a five-star rating for this podcast and provide their user name on iTunes, google plus, blubrry the podcast providers I use.  Just hit the button subscribe to my podcast and rate it a number 5.!Write to me at wendy@wendybergen.comFace book page” Getting Unstuck with Wendy B,  like comment or share my posts or videos and you will get a complimentary package that includes a 30 min Discovery session.  During this session,

How do I discover my limits around finances? I have been in a recent inquiry discovering my blind spots and what is limiting me around finances. I always find being in an inquiry very useful. I’ve been in this inquiry for about five months. First I started the inquiry by being in a book study with the book “Financial Recovery” by Karen McCall. By doing the exercises I uncovered things that I had forgotten but my subconscious didn’t. Out of seeing that, I saw I made up money was dirty – you have to keep money as a secret. I got to see patterns that followed those conversations that shape my life. I saw, why would I hold onto money out of that discovery. Being in that inquiry I decided to take all those things I made up into a session with a Rapid Transformational Therapist Julie Cocharane. I wanted to heal some of the childhood trauma around secrets around money that I had totally forgotten about. I was given hush money as a child to keep secrets. That session has opened up a lot of freedom for me. Then still being in the inquiry I just completed the money seminar with Landmark Worldwide, and now I’m in another book study with others reading the book you were “Born to be Rich” by Bob Proctor. What is starting to open up for me is I have been given more opportunities in the last five months to manifest income than I have in the last ten years. I certainly believe that what you focus on can manifest be it the good or the bad. If you focus on your problems they will manifest, If you focus on the solutions they will manifest MY QUESTION TO YOU IS WHAT DO YOU WANT TO MANIFEST? The game I’m playing is that by August 31st, 2022, I manifest an awesome home that has soundproofing between the walls and floors, is pet friendly, quiet inside and outside, and quiet from outside traffic. The grounds are well kept. The inside is sunny and spacious and private. I can open the windows to let a breeze inside and I only hear mother nature. I’m also manifesting taking the limits off my finances so anything is possible. That is why I’m in the financial inquiry I am in and doing the groundwork for the last five months. I just invested in a program called Stageplot a twelve-week program that could possibly get me in front of some influential people. I have an interesting past where I have learned to be resilient repeatedly. The owner of this school has known me for a few years. She said wouldn’t it be great if we could create a TV series about your life. That intrigued me, I always admired Oprah Winfrey/ I know I make a difference in the world already but with a T.V. show you have a bigger audience. It’s all about the possibility I figure I would invest in myself and see what happens. MY QUESTION TO YOU IS WHAT DO YOU WANT TO MANIFEST? What are the actions you could take to manifest what you say you want? What are your resources? When you look around who could be a resource for you? Who could you ask to manifest with you to make your goal happen? Go for it!  I want on my gravestone she burned out instead of rusted out!  What do you want them to say about you?Ask yourself are your actions and speaking are in alignment with what you are committed to? Look at what are the habitual patterns that have that commitment thwarted?  Are you willing to take responsibility for when it doesn’t go the way you want or the way you expected and clean up your part? Are you willing to let go of Expectations of yourself and others?  What are you not being truthful about to yourself and others?

I had a seventeen-year-old teen come to me for some coaching. He was to meet his grandmom and sibling for a birthday lunch in the next town over. The grandma and he had a disagreement about three months ago and she hadn’t talked to him since then. The sibling and he rarely talked and when they did they frequently didn’t get along well. I asked him out of curiosity, why do you want to meet for this birthday lunch with your sibling given your past experience? His reply was, I want my sibling to experience being loved. I invited him to write it down on a piece of paper. My intention is to have my sibling experience being loved. Then put that piece of paper in his wallet. He agreed. I asked him to repeat that intention and to remember that as he had lunch with his sibling and Grandma. I then asked him what will he do if his sibling says things that usually trigger him? What if they say something you don’t like or something confronting or makes you feel uncomfortable? I said if you respond how you usually do, defending yourself, will your sibling experience your intention. that they experience being loved? His answer was no. Then I said in that case you may not have a lot to say. You may not speak a lot during this luncheon. He responded with Oh! Then I continued and said your Grandmother sometimes says derogatory things to you correct? If you respond how you would normally respond will your sibling experience your intention of being loved? He said no. I said here is another reason you may not be speaking much during this lunch. He looked at me and said yes I can see that. I requested that while he was at the luncheon he look at his intention for his sibling before he spoke. Then ask himself if I speak this will my sibling experience being loved, and if not then not to respond. He promised he would. I was a bit apprehensive and I had to trust that whatever happened, it might be better than how it had been the last time they got together. I prayed that creating an intention and him asking himself before speaking, will what I say cause this intention? Would this create a different outcome for him? We can’t always control what others do. With practice, we can control how we respond. First. it has to start with us creating an intention. About three hours later this young man came home, kissed me on the back of my head, gave me a hug and went to his room. I was so relieved. obviously, his creating an intention worked. He didn’t want to talk about it except to say he had a good time. He got a taste of how he could respond differently and he could cause a different outcome. When you are going into any situation, particularly where there is tension, a potential for disagreements, or adversity, it’s a good thing to look at what is your intention, what is the outcome you intend to happen, and then write it down. You are responsible for your reactions, not theirs. It’s amazing when we go into a situation and our intention is to be peaceful, loving or joyful. We can then be responsible and ask ourselves are these actions or inaction I’m taking going to cause this intention? Every morning you can create an intention to live into. The other morning I created the intention to be focused and productive. I noticed that as I was sitting on the toilet I checked out Facebook, and twenty-five minutes went by. I realized I was not focused and productive during that time. I got distracted. Because I had made an intention I was able to see I was not being focused and productive and get right back on track. Without creating intentions we can waste the day away. What intention are you creating today?

I belong to a group of coaches we are called the Ultimate Coaches run by Shawn Berman. She just started a Facebook live that runs Monday to Friday at 9:00 a.m. pacific and each day you can hop on and get some tips and coaching on your life. Each day represents something different, Monday is coaching on home and environment, Tuesday is Relationships, Wed is Business and Finances and Thursday is Health and Wellbeing. If you want to check it out Lookup Inspired, Empowered & Unstoppable. Regardless, one day a lady hopped on and said I’m stuck in a rut and I can’t seem to get out of it. My days are all routine. One of the coaches suggest that she try doing something different than she normally does. If she brushes her teeth with her right- hand brush her teeth with your left hand etc. It reminded me of a course I just recently was in and for eight to twelve weeks we were invited to take on doing something that we never had done before. I was with a group of nine people and it was fabulous what some of us came up with. It doesn’t have to be big, like jumping out of an airplane sky diving. It can include that and it doesn’t have to be expensive just simple things. Another person asked her husband for things she would normally never ask for. Another woman asked her dad for something she was unable to ask for and finally did. A woman asked a man out on a date. Are you getting my drift? So if you want to get out of a rut I suggest you experiment. Once a week try on doing something you have never done before. You can do it more than once a week, and you must do it once a week. Schedule it into your calendar or the week will fly by. Eat food you never would have eaten. Go to a movie that you would normally not go to. Hang out with someone you normally would not hang out with. Read a type of book you would normally not learn. Ask questions of people you normally would not ask. I started taking different routes to the some regular destination. I found some lovely scenic routes minutes from my home. I now can avoid the bumper to bumper traffic. Have fun with this one. If you are a couple really brainstorm. Ask other couples what they do. One week the one person gets to choose the never been done before and go along with it. The other person chooses the next week. Who knows you may learn some new sex moves. Ha! You may discover a new partner that you didn’t realize lived with you all along. If you are single brainstorm with friends who knows what you might discover. Don’t forget to record it in a notebook and look at it at least once every two weeks. Celebrate your ability to try new things. Where are you stopped in life because you think you have to do everything perfectly? Where are you stuck in life because you are procrastinating, or feeling paralyzed? Could this be because you have a barrier or a limiting belief? Is this a habitual pattern that limits your ability to experience fulfillment and stops you from taking risks? What could become available if you interrupted those beliefs and tried something new? What are two new actions you could take right now to disrupt those beliefs? Do those actions within the next twenty-four hours. Schedule it in your daytimer now. Don’t forget to have fun. Ask an accountability partner for support. Go for it!  I want on my gravestone she burned out instead of rusted out!  What do you want them to say about you?Ask yourself are your actions and speaking in alignment with what you are committed to? Look at what are the habitual patterns that have that commitment thwarted?  Are you willing to take responsibility for when it doesn’t...

Have you ever noticed that the more you complain, the less happy you are? I’m starting to coach people on a scale of 1-10 how high is your whineometer? When we can get present to the amount of complaining we do, we have a chance to shift it and our happiness meter. Rate your level of complaining (whineometer) How emotionally juicy is this complaint. Where 10 is I’m so upset I can’t eat my favourite food or can’t sleep and 1 is, what is this word “complaint” which you speak of? Do you complain just to be heard and to get attention or do you put a complaint out there to create a solution? Your happiness depends on how long you hang onto the complaint and how fast you create a solution. I was looking at the areas I complain about and my level of whineometer. Where I live the people upstairs are not very thoughtful. They know there is no soundproofing between the floors. No rugs and yet they let four kids run around the house literally most days hollering, hammering, bouncing things off the hardwood floors from approximately 7:00 am. till 10 most nights and sometimes later. Ugh! I’d say my whineometer is 8-10 most days. We live close to a busy road so I can’t even open the windows unless I want to be woken up at 4:15 in the morning. I notice my complaining to the landlord that he needs to soundproof the place and my complaining and focusing on the noise of traffic and the kids making noise is not making me happy and it also doesn’t change the noise level. The more righteous I get about thoughtless landlords and tenants the unhappier I get. When I have guests over and they complain about the noise I get to keep focusing on my complaint rather than the solution. Mu righteousness allows me not to take the necessary actions to solve the problem. The more we complain the less happy we are. The less we complain and focus on the solution the happier we are. How do you stop complaining? You look at the three A’s. First, become aware, then accept then take the necessary action. First, you have to become aware that you are complaining. Then you have to accept the way it is and the way it isn’t before you can take action. I notice when I become aware and take action before I accept the way it is and the way it isn’t, the outcome is usually not too good. I first have to accept the way it is and the way it isn’t before I can create a solution to the satisfaction of all parties involved. I assert that if you alter your thoughts by interrupting and questioning them, you can alter your actions. Most of us do not question our thoughts – therefore we stay stuck or keep complaining and being unhappy. I believe it takes a lifetime to master transforming our thoughts. Every moment you have an opportunity to question yourself. Complaining limits our happiness. When we complain we are not focusing on the solution so we complain. My invitation is to start writing down daily what do you complain about. A way to find out what you complain about is to interview your family, friends, co-workers and start asking them what do I complain about? First before asking them that question you have to be willing to not get mad and react. Let them speak their truth, whether you agree or not. Do not interrupt just listen. You could say I’m doing this experiment to become aware of how I come across to people and I want to know if I complain a lot? You could ask what do I complain about? If you measured my complaint(s) on a scale of 1-10 where would the scale be? If they say yes you complain a lot you then could ask them if they would mind helping you out to reduce complaining. You could say I am experimenting and want to increase my level of happiness.

What does practice get to do with anything? YOU CAN’T HAVE MASTERY until you put in the time. In fact, it is common knowledge that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to be called a master of anything. In my book “Getting Unstuck” Chapter 9 is about practice, practice, practice. In these last 10 months, I have lost 8 people. Recently my mother and Auntie were all within 12 hrs of each other. I also have a coaching business and I take care of my four and half year old granddaughter. I fill in at a home with troubled teens and also put in at least one 24 hour shift a week. Why am I sharing this? People are counting on me and I cannot emotionally afford to be stopped because life keeps giving. Without having structures and tools in place I might have not been able to keep going. I have rituals, habits and structures in place so that when life gets in the way I am capable of still moving forward. What has me be effective is I assert PRACTICE. I’m in this program 80/20 where we practice planning 80 percent and 20 percent implementing the actions. I’m probably at 20 percent planning and 80 percent action. I am far from being masterful yet. They say the most effective people on the planet are people who strategically plan 80 percent and take action 20 percent. I want to be one of those people. Even though I am effective now, if I took this strategy on, how much more effective could I be? I have been in the program for 14 months. Every month for six months we take one of these areas. The first month, getting complete, second month, expansion. and alignment. In the third month, craft your vision In the fourth-month take on big and small games. In the fifth month, we reverse engineer those big and small games. In the sixth month, we implement and track those games. Then we start all over again. At first, I was frustrated and didn’t make the time always to follow the program. In the program, we get to look at four quadrants of life. Health and wellbeing, business and finances, Relationships (spiritual, friendships, coworkers, etc.), Home and environment. Each quarter you take on at least one project in each of those areas and practice what you are learning. Halfway through the 6 months, I was like, this is too much. I’ll never get this right, this is stupid. I forgot when you are learning anything new it takes practice to learn it and then implement it. Now I’m on my 3rd round and I’m still learning and practicing. The man that coaches it, said it took him 5 to 7 years before he became masterful at this process. Making myself wrong is a default way of being. I’ve been practicing that for a lot of years, now when I notice I’m making myself wrong I can interrupt those thoughts and change my thinking. I have not put 10,000 hours of practice in yet. YOU CAN’T HAVE MASTERY until you put in the time. In fact, it is common knowledge that it takes 10,000 hours of practice to be called a master of anything. In my book “Getting Unstuck” Chapter 9 is about practice, practice, practice. What are one or two areas you want to be masterful in? What are one or two things that are important to you? Look at what are one or two things you are committed to in those areas? Then ask yourself this question, are you committed to practicing and expanding those areas and becomming masterful? You could look at what are the most effective courses you could take that would give you some tools so you could practice daily and become more effective? What structures are you putting in place so you can practice and get effective coaching and feedback on your practice and performance? Especially in the middle of breakdowns.

I am continuing to share my 21-day challenge “Being Unstoppable and Getting Unstuck “. I highly recommend you do the challenge if you want to build muscle to be unstoppable. I will be running it on the 1st day of every month for 21 days. On the third and fourth days, I get you to start making powerful requests of others. I invite you to make requests and get out of your comfort zone. Nowhere do I tell you to be attached to the outcome. When you have that ability to make requests of others with no attachment to the outcome you start building a habitual pattern that will support you in being unstoppable. When you add what are you committed to and then start making requests, (no) will not stop you from asking another, then another. No doesn’t mean anything except, no for right now. What has people be effective and unstoppable is their ability to make powerful requests of others and create a team of people around them. When we treat all people as big people capable and able, trusting they can decide for themselves, that is powerful. When we make requests of others we give them an opportunity to contribute or not at that moment. All people want to contribute to one another. We just have to give them an opportunity. I assert that what stops us frequently in life is we don’t live our lives from our commitments. We live our life from our thoughts and feelings. Rarely do we commit. I have seen people committing to something and as soon as it’s uncomfortable they stop. They break their word and start living from their thoughts and feelings. Most of our suffering is because we keep our lives small enough to manage and view our commitments as pie in the sky dreams versus goals to be achieved. This is a quote from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe “Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in ones favour all manner of unforeseen incidents meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now” I assert we have hidden commitments we don’t realize. We take actions (I can’t emphasize this enough) from what we are committed to, whether conscious or unconscious. If you want to know what you are committed to in a particular area, look at your actions. Listen to the rest of the podcasts to get more examples. Go for it!  I want on my gravestone she burned out instead of rusted out!  What do you want them to say about you?Ask yourself are your actions and speaking in alignment with what you are committed to? Look at what are the habitual patterns that have that commitment thwarted?  Are you willing to take responsibility for when it doesn’t go the way you want or the way you expected and clean up your part? Are you willing to let go of Expectations of yourself and others?  What are you not being truthful about to yourself and others?Our thoughts can be like a junk drawer-we need to take inventory and get rid of what is not useful! (wendy b)I want to personally hear about your dreams and goals.  I will give you one amazing tip that will help you out...

I am continuing to share my 21-day challenge “Being Unstoppable and Getting Unstuck “. I highly recommend you do the challenge if you want to build muscle to be unstoppable. I will be running it on the 1st day of every month for 21 days. On the last podcast, we were looking at what it takes to be Unstoppable and I said one main ingredient is COMMITMENT. I want you to look at the four quadrants of life. Health and Wellbeing, Home environment, Business and Finances and Relationships including spiritual etc. Pick one area where you would like to cause a breakthrough. Now when you look at that area what is the goal you want to cause? What does it look like now? Whatever we measure matters. Be specific. Example ” I want a romantic relationship. On a scale of 1-10. 1 meaning it’s perfect I date frequently. 10 means I haven’t produced one result. What it looks like now is I dream and hope about it and take no action. On a scale of 1-10, it’s hopeless, it’s a 10. After 21 days I want to move the scale to a 5. I’m taking daily actions. I’ve joined a dating site. I am checking it daily and replying to anybody that replies to me. I am flirting and replying to at least one profile a day regardless if they have replied to me or not. Whatever you measure matters. I cannot promise you will complete your project in 21 days challenge, but what I can promise you, is that I will give you habitual habits, tools and techniques that will keep you moving forward so you have a chance of producing the result you want in this particular area of your life. IIn the 21-day challenge we are building lifetime habits so you can become unstoppable. Our promise is if you do the daily tasks as designed, you will alter your life. If you are not doing the tasks as designed we ask you, what got in the way? Is this a Habital pattern that limits you and stops you from taking the actions you need to take? I assert that what stops us frequently in life is we don’t live our lives from our commitments. We live our life from our thoughts and feelings. Rarely do we commit. I have seen people committing to something and as soon as it’s uncomfortable they stop. They break their word and start living from their thoughts and feelings. Most of our suffering is because we keep our lives small enough to manage and view our commitments as pie in the sky dreams versus goals to be achieved. This is a quote from Johann Wolfgang von Goethe “Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in ones favour all manner of unforeseen incidents meetings and material assistance which no man could have dreamed would have come his way. Whatever you can do or dream you can begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now” I assert we have hidden commitments we don’t realize. We take actions (I can’t emphasize this enough) from what we are committed to, whether conscious or unconscious. If you want to know what you are committed to in a particular area, look at your actions. Listen to the rest of the podcasts to get more examples.

I just created a 21 day Being Unstoppable, Getting Unstuck challenge. It took me four months to create this challenge. I launched a Beta starting March 1st. I created this challenge so people could gain confidence in their ability to move forward regardless of any circumstances they are dealing with. I wanted them to create structures with the tools I gave them so they become an Unstoppable Force. With the tools and structures, I give them in this challenge I will support them to create an environment that pulls for them to win the games they are playing and create and fulfilling the projects that are important to them. They will discover life can suck and you can still have power from the tools and techniques provided in the challenge. You will learn to create healthy habits. You don’t have to have all the answers to being Unstoppable. We request you take actions consistently on a daily basis that will move you forward. Do the tasks required for each day. People who take the challenge want to be unstoppable. This challenge will challenge them and help them shift their beliefs and mindset. They can learn new ways of being and new actions to take causing them to be more effective in their lives. They will discover the source of them being stopped or stuck. It usually has nothing to do with outside circumstances. Looking back on the journey to create this challenge was me being unstoppable in the face of many outside circumstances. many deaths, two suicides, fractured ribs. Then two weeks before the challenge was to be launched I lost my mother and aunty. It took everything in me to honour my word. People were counting on me. I could not let them down. So if you are playing big games in life and want to practice building a mindset and unstoppable skills you should check this challenge out. The next one should be April 1st. I think I will start it on the first of every month. Go for it!  I want on my gravestone she burned out instead of rusted out!  What do you want them to say about you?Ask yourself are your actions and speaking in alignment with what you are committed to? Look at what are the habitual patterns that have that commitment thwarted?  Are you willing to take responsibility for when it doesn’t go the way you want or the way you expected and clean up your part? Are you willing to let go of Expectations of yourself and others?  What are you not being truthful about to yourself and others?Our thoughts can be like a junk drawer-we need to take inventory and get rid of what is not useful! (wendy b)I want to personally hear about your dreams and goals.  I will give you one amazing tip that will help you out.  I will call people who let me know they left a five-star rating for this podcast and provide their user name on iTunes, google plus, blubrry the podcast providers I use.  Just hit the button subscribe to my podcast and rate it a number 5.!Write to me at wendy@wendybergen.comFace book page” Getting Unstuck with Wendy B,  like comment or share my posts or videos and you will get a complimentary package that includes a 30 min Discovery session.  During this session, I will discuss the 1 to 3 obstacles that are holding you back and provide steps that will guide and direct you to move forward.  Also, there is a possible opportunity to be interviewed on one of my podcasts.  Total Package Valued at $997.00 Complementary. Just a private message and I will set up a time to book your strategy session. Go to my webpage and book a sessionAnything that is said on this podcast and anything said before or after are from my views only.Thanks for Listening! Wendy BI support women when facing adversity to Reclaim Their Power bringing them more clarity, confidence,

I am writing this because my 93-year-old mother has been very healthy and just died. We have been so blessed. She is upbeat and in most conversations, she brings out her harmonica and plays a tune and asks us to sing. The other day when she was going for lunch at the independent living seniors’ home, she stumbled and fell, and broke her shoulder and hip. It must have been very traumatic for her. My mother has Alzheimer’s and dementia so she wasn’t sure why she ended up in the hospital. It was upsetting for her and us. The doctors said she had a 10 percent chance of survival without surgery so, of course, we gave permission for that. She has been doing great and I was able to have three conversations with her after surgery where she was pretty positive. The doctors and nurses were really impressed with her progress. Then a week after surgery she got pneumonia and now we are just waiting to see if she can survive that. Unfortunately, my mom didn’t survive. She would not have a quality of life, so I am thanking God he took my mother peacefully it was a double whammy because my mother’s sister and my Aunty died within 12 hrs of each other in the same hospital, not knowing that each other where in the same hospital. Aunty was 88 mom 93. Up until 2 weeks, before they passed, they were fortunate and lived great lives full of support and love from family and friends.. I’m asking you, have you got everything in order. Two of my sisters are executors and power of attorney and my sisters have made sure everything is in order. Make sure you have your house in order. What actions do you need to take? Have you a will. Have you a living will? Who is your power of attorney(‘s) Executor or Executrix? Do you want to have several people share in this duty? Have you been to see a lawyer? You could save monies by joining Legal Sheild. I pay a fee of $27.00 a month and It has paid for itself in the three years I have had that program. It brings me peace of mind. Be specific in the will. If you want a particular item to go to an individual make sure you specifically say so to avoid confusion and agreements later. Make sure your power of attorney and executor know where your investment papers and bank accounts etc are. If you have a safety deposit, Make sure people know where the key is etc. In BC you need a will plus a power of Health Care and power of Property. Legal Sheild will provide all this for you at a very low cost. Get your house in order There is only one guarantee in life and that is you are not getting out alive. Make it easier on yourself and others and bring peace of mind, get your house in order. Go for it!  I want on my gravestone she burned out instead of rusted out!  What do you want them to say about you?Ask yourself are your actions and speaking in alignment with what you are committed to? Look at what are the habitual patterns that have that commitment thwarted?  Are you willing to take responsibility for when it doesn’t go the way you want or the way you expected and clean up your part? Are you willing to let go of Expectations of yourself and others?  What are you not being truthful about to yourself and others?Our thoughts can be like a junk drawer-we need to take inventory and get rid of what is not useful! (wendy b)I want to personally hear about your dreams and goals.  I will give you one amazing tip that will help you out.  I will call people who let me know they left a five-star rating for this podcast and provide their user name on iTunes, google plus, blubrry the podcast providers I use.

I am writing this because my 93-year-old mother has been very healthy. We have been so blessed. She is upbeat and in most conversations, she brings out her harmonica and plays a tune and asks us to sing. The other day when she was going for lunch at the independent living seniors’ home, she stumbled and fell, and broke her shoulder and hip. It must have been very traumatic for her. My mother has Alzheimer’s and dementia so she wasn’t sure why she ended up in the hospital. It was upsetting for her and us. The doctors said she had a 10 percent chance of survival without surgery so, of course, we gave permission for that. She has been doing great and I was able to have three conversations with her after surgery where she was pretty positive. The doctors and nurses were really impressed with her progress. Then a week after surgery she got pneumonia and now we are just waiting to see if she can survive that. I’m asking you, have you got everything in order. Two of my sisters are executors and power of attorney and my sisters have made sure everything is in order. My sisters took turns, one week one was responsible for mom, the next week the other one was responsible for mom well being. The two sisters sent emails out to us siblings and kept us informed of any major decisions. I am so grateful for my older sister who has made sure we are all included at all times. I know it has not been easy at times and I gratefully appreciate all the extra effort she has made. I will let you know my mom’s progress next podcast. In the meantime make sure you have your house in order. What actions do you need to take? Have you a will. Have you a living will? Who is your power of attorney(‘s) Executor or Executrix? Do you want to have several people share in this duty? Have you been to see a lawyer? You could save monies by joining Legal Sheild. I pay a fee of $27.00 a month and It has paid for itself in the three years I have had that program. It brings me peace of mind. Be specific in the will. If you want a particular item to go to an individual make sure you specifically say so to avoid confusion and agreements later. Make sure your power of attorney and executor know where your investment papers and bank accounts etc are. If you have a safety deposit, Make sure people know where the key is etc. There is only one guarantee in life and that is you are not getting out alive. Make it easier on yourself and others and bring peace of mind, get your house in order. Go for it!  I want on my gravestone she burned out instead of rusted out!  What do you want them to say about you?Ask yourself are your actions and speaking in alignment with what you are committed to? Look at what are the habitual patterns that have that commitment thwarted?  Are you willing to take responsibility for when it doesn’t go the way you want or the way you expected and clean up your part? Are you willing to let go of Expectations of yourself and others?  What are you not being truthful about to yourself and others?Our thoughts can be like a junk drawer-we need to take inventory and get rid of what is not useful! (wendy b)I want to personally hear about your dreams and goals.  I will give you one amazing tip that will help you out.  I will call people who let me know they left a five-star rating for this podcast and provide their user name on iTunes, google plus, blubrry the podcast providers I use.  Just hit the button subscribe to my podcast and rate it a number 5.!Write to me at wendy@wendybergen.comFace book page” Getting Unstuck with Wendy B,  like comment or share my posts or videos and you will get a complimentary package that includes a 30 min Di...

Have you ever realized that maybe you could use some more tools in communicating with loved ones? I constantly am looking for methods to better my communication. Especially with my two daughters. Sometimes I think they come from Mars and I come from Jupiter. Ha! I read this awesome book in Al-Anon called “The Dilemma of the acholic marriage”. If you have not read it, it is a very packed-filled book that you can use in almost any situation where there is a breakdown in communication. I have been in Al-Anon for over thirty years, This book is worth getting. * Discuss don’t attack* Keep the Voice Low and Pleasant* Stick to the Subject* Listen to Thier Complaints * Don’t make Demands Have you ever caught yourself making accusations? The person immediately gets on the defensive and doesn’t hear a word you say. I know it’s hard when your emotions are running high but it does not work to attack even if you are right. I have a very hard time keeping my voice low and pleasant. I’m a straight shooter. What frequently gets in my way is my tone and my righteousness. Even if I’m not righteous my intense way of speaking can sometimes get people’s hackles up. Have you ever been around someone who deflects things? You are talking about one thing and they bring up what you did to them when they were thirteen. It’s a really good method how to deflect and not take any responsibility for what’s happening right now. Sometimes we don’t want to listen to their complaints. If we listen with an open mind we might hear what we need to hear and expand and grow. It can be painful when a person younger than you can teach you a lesson. Be grateful they were put in your path for a reason. My four and half year old granddaughter keeps me humble. When someone demands I do something, I automatically get my hackles up don’t you? So how do you think it feels for the other person you are making a demand of. These rules are simple Yes? They also can be very challenging to follow. I hope they help you as much as they continue to help me. Go for it!  I want on my gravestone she burned out instead of rusted out!  What do you want them to say about you?Ask yourself are your actions and speaking in alignment with what you are committed to? Look at what are the habitual patterns that have that commitment thwarted?  Are you willing to take responsibility for when it doesn’t go the way you want or the way you expected and clean up your part? Are you willing to let go of Expectations of yourself and others?  What are you not being truthful about to yourself and others?Our thoughts can be like a junk drawer-we need to take inventory and get rid of what is not useful! (wendy b)I want to personally hear about your dreams and goals.  I will give you one amazing tip that will help you out.  I will call people who let me know they left a five-star rating for this podcast and provide their user name on iTunes, google plus, blubrry the podcast providers I use.  Just hit the button subscribe to my podcast and rate it a number 5.!Write to me at wendy@wendybergen.comFace book page” Getting Unstuck with Wendy B,  like comment or share my posts or videos and you will get a complimentary package that includes a 30 min Discovery session.  During this session, I will discuss the 1 to 3 obstacles that are holding you back and provide steps that will guide and direct you to move forward.  Also, there is a possible opportunity to be interviewed on one of my podcasts.  Total Package Valued at $997.00 Complementary.