A Horrible Premise

In this week's episode, Jess spins a tale of murder and rebellious teen girl bodies, Scotty spins a tale of troll murder and tasty milkshakes, and Blake spins a tale of folded paper and Skip Sheffield, and that's only one premise from each of this week's contestants! Listen in as other aliases of Ryan Reeves also appear, along with Ray Romano, Brad Garrett, and somehow even the McElroy Brothers (note: "appear" means to be mentioned in passing in the middle of a goof) TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess(@legkicktko): Shut Up And Dance, Mission: Pants! Scottye(@scottyemo): Hoosta Blame (or something), Shake It Down (aka T2:TSTT:SID:FTMB) Blake(@blakeatanner): Origami Grandma, Taco Hell And all three combine their powers to do...something...with THE OLD DAYS Host: Jim(@apparentlysmart)

It's that time again! Jim counts down his top ten pitches from the last twenty episodes...BUT WAIT! There may be some chicanery afoot. Which pitches made the cut? Listen and find out! Featuring The Talents Of: Jess(@legkicktko) Scottye(@scottyemo) Blake(@blakeatanner) Dave(@fatherdog) Ari(@ari_amaru) Shikaki(Youtube) Dan(@danmacrae) Log(@oldcaptainlog)   Host: Jim (@apparentlysmart)

This week is a very pasty heavy episode, as Jess is joined by her #fettucineverse partner in crime John along with returning contestant Seth and newcomer Captain Log, which might be a nickname (not sure). This fantastic quartet talks bacon, basketball, brutal traps, and the 28-Skidoo, which is probably not to be confused with the 23-skidoo. We didn't catch on at the time, which is awkward given the phrase's eytmology. Heiroglyphics are written across the universe, random goons are dispatched, and please be aware of all the pallets of swordfish heads you might encounter.

WE ARE A STARZ HOUSEHOLD~! This week, Jess returns from the ether to join new contestant Sorg as they tackle cubes, magnets, bones, puzzles, and yes, Draculas on their way to getting themselves a piece of that sweet, sweet mystery cake. Remember that if Aquaman asks you to wash his blue whale, you do it. We all need practice in being a ridiculous person. And please, for your own safety, stay on your side of the scythe.

Feature contestant Jess is absent, but after a few swigs of wine we bring returning contestant Piper and new contestants Seth and some dude named Yellow into the game and boy, do things go downhill fast. It all starts with a longwinded Game Of Thrones reference and soon we are off on a whirlwind tour of a town full of clowns, a dialobical tree, a land of spices, and even the very peak of Gordon Ramsey. We didn't even know he was a mountain!

This week, new contestants Piper and Shikaki join Jess on the panel as they visit the majestic land of Idaho, other people's dreams, a world controlled by dogs, the country of South Korea, and end up on some kind of toot toot galaxy train! It's all abooooooard for hilarity and a ton of wine consumption on this episode of A Horrible Premise!   TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess (@legkicktko): Potatoheads, Bob Tails/Tales Piper (@fyzzgiggidy): 8 Bit Wonder, Redneck Remix Shikaki (@MrShikaki): Dream Machine, The Sauce Boss And all three do their best to make something out of the title ALL ABOARD Host: Jim (@apparentlysmart) Alternate Titles For This Episode: I Hate All Chads, Funstivities For Children, Basically Doing It, He Might Leave Beer There, Chase Human For Sport, A Little More Latiny

This week, Jess is joined on the panel by new contestant Moose Bigelow (no, not that one the other one) to pitch everything from lamentable space racism to loads and loads of abdominal muscles to teaching horses how to backflip. Along the way we also learn the meaning of the word MORTAR and that hitchhiker is actually three words, you know, when you think about it a little. TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess(@legkicktko): Brick & MORTAR, Deport This Moose(@moose_bigelow): Baker's Dozen, Fun Sighs And the two do their best to make something out of nothing with EXPENSIVE TRICKS/TRIX Host: Jim (@apparentlysmart) Alternate Titles For This Episode: Give Me A Second, Have To Go Super Hammy, Elite Sniper Reality Show, Slightly More Dumb, Stinking Pit Of Hell, The Murder Phase, Parkhourse   Please remember to check us out on Facebook and instagram and if you really wanna make us all happy do us a solid and go rate us five stars on the iTunes, even if you hate Apple with every fiber of your being! It helps us out.

This week, Jess is joined by a returning Scottye to pitch everything from crazy kicks to heart-stopping dunks and the problems with some pro wrestling match names . Also somehow starring the ghost of Liberace, an older Aaron Carter, the voice of William Daniels, and KISS. We aren't sure about any of that either, quite frankly. The MPAA has rated us "MJ" for being pretty good "ballers". TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess(@legkicktko): Kickin' Things/Thangs, Horse Stunts Scottye(@scottyemo): Flame Or Fortune, Get The Jam And then both succumb to the cluster---- that is CONVICT CIRUS.  Host: Jim (@apparentlysmart)   Follow along at home by joining in on our Twitter and Instagram pages!   Theme song: sevenhundredbeats by duncan_beattie (c) copyright 2006 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/duncan_beattie/7116

This week, Jess is joined by new contestant Dan (a different one from the other one) to tackle some of the tough questions in life. Where does fresh hippo meat taste like? Why is Jenna Elfman such an efficient killer? What makes Diane Lane tick? How good are bears at hockey exactly? Find out the answers on this episode of A Horrible Premise!   TV Shows Designed In This Episode:   Jess(@legkicktko): Snowballs, Give Up The Ghost Dan(@danmacrae): Mall Brawl, Twisted Steel & Sex Appeal And both give us their pitches on the greatest sporting event of all - DUMB HOCKEY   Host: Jim (@apparentlysmart)   Alternate Titles For This Episode: Curse Your Core Code, Away From Johnny Law, Sexy Running Man Style, Boom She Got Ya, Bring On The Dumpster, Bigwigs & Robber Barons, As A Flesh Man, Too Stupid To Make Happen, Tasteful Blurring, Half Powered Tasers, It Adds To The Dumb Theme Music: sevenhundredbeats by duncan_beattie (c) copyright 2006 Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution license. http://dig.ccmixter.org/files/duncan_beattie/7116

Gather up your onions, your Casio keyboards, and your chewing gum because YIKES the mermaids finally have a gun! Luckily Jess and Mike are on hand in this here neck of the sea woods to save us all, and maybe try a little bit of butt poutine while they are at it! Sure it sounds gross, but then the Rock shows up! No, wait, he absolutely doesn't. This show might not be the funniest thing you ever heard, but it just might be a close second. Or it might not even be that! Listen anyway, ya jerks! TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess(@legkicktko): Stream Queens, Next To Godliness Mike(@detectorsarcasm): Rrrrrrabid Justice, Quick Steve And behold the sheer ruckus that is both contestants imaginings of ONE IN THE CHAMBER~ Host: Jim (@apparentlysmart) Alternate Title For This Episode: Idiots On SeaDoos, Without A Ton Of Water, Hard Science Mermaid Show, More Like Dork-al Fin, Wolverine Abuse, Vague Cultural Osmosis, A Terrible Accent, There's A Commotion

WISE FROM YOUR GWAVE! A Horrible Premise returns with Jess tossing away her wacky name crutch and being joined by new, and probably kidnapped, contestant Koitus. Are you a quote unquote Rainbow Warrior? Are you in a gorilla costume? Do you have a bottomless supply of toddlers? Then this episode might just be for you! TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess (@legkicktko): Monkey Business, Taste The Rainbow Koitus (@koitus69): Mountain Drew, Beef Boys And the two of them throwdown with some tiny children as they pitch the show TODDLER~   Host: Jim (@apparentlysmart)   Alternate Titles For This Episode: Felony Grade Pranks, Not An Actual Job, A Legacy Title, Cereal Aisle Of Ralph's, Unknown Faustian Bargain, The Mother Or Satan, This Is A Very Sad Story

This week, a being of pure light energy returns from crime fighting to make dumb tv shows. Just kidding, it's only John, back from his 46 year hiatus to join Jim and Jess as speak openly about the wonders of Richard Dreyfus, Disney Channel vixens, brown M&Ms, and learning to simply stop and smell the sidewalk.  TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess (@legkicktko): Ruff Action, Polish Amateur Hour John (@johnjohnphenom): Goldenrod, The Broken Mirror And for the first time ever we pick a winner, sort of, and Jim takes Jess's place until all three eventually try their hands at LIONS AND LAMBS!! Host: Jim (@apparentlysmart) Please remember to rate us on iTunes and tell your friends how dumb we are but that they should totes listen. Thanks!

Jim returns from vacation and finds a battle of sweet versus savory taking place across the millennia! Jess takes time out of her day to explain 'Bloody Knuckles' while Scotty talks ponies, minotaurs, centaurs, and BINGO! Austin returns (for round one) and unknowingly relives some of Blake's childhood, who then shows up for rounds two and three because we needed a contestant, dammit! Listen in, or get quick-scoped by a grandma! TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess (@legkicktko): Colander Gals, Money Boys Scottye (@scottyemo): Cream Of The Crop (OH YEAH!), Bingo A-Go-Go Austin (@nuclearburns): Kiss My Arsonist Blake (@blakeatanner): Aquamania Then Jess, Scottye, and Blake bring the pain with DON WINS AGAIN, DAWNWIN'S AGAIN, and DAWN WINS AGAIN! It barely makes sense in context! Host: Jim (@apparentlysmart)

Jim returns from vacation and finds a battle of sweet versus savory taking place across the millennia! Jess takes time out of her day to explain 'Bloody Knuckles' while Scotty talks ponies, minotaurs, centaurs, and BINGO! Austin returns (for round one) and unknowingly relives some of Blake's childhood, who then shows up for rounds two and three because we needed a contestant, dammit! Listen in, or get quick-scoped by a grandma! TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess (@legkicktko): Colander Gals, Money Boys Scottye (@scottyemo): Cream Of The Crop (OH YEAH!), Bingo A-Go-Go Austin (@nuclearburns): Kiss My Arsonist Blake (@blakeatanner): Aquamania Then Jess, Scottye, and Blake bring the pain with DON WINS AGAIN, DAWNWIN'S AGAIN, and DAWN WINS AGAIN! It barely makes sense in context! Host: Jim (@apparentlysmart)

Ever wanted to show your friends and family and coworkers how fun this show is? Then boy is this the episode for you! Jess does goof-em-ups for funsies! Dave creates the perfect game show! Jim forgets about Pig McConaghey and then laughs at a dick joke! It was thankfully not an elephant situation! It truly is fantastic...but don't take MY word for it...LISTEN NOW! TV Shows Designed In This Episode: Jess (@legkicktko): Condor Station, Big Top Cop Dave (@fatherdog): Life Isn't Fair, With Bells On And the two of them cause a fracas as they explore the wonders of FISHSTICK! Host: Jim (@apparentlysmart)