The Absurd Podcast

Carl Entner stops by this week to talk about my being forced to watch walrus porn while getting a tooth extracted. Then we spend some time complaining about the stupidity of humanity and people's willingness to be mediocre before diving into Heat: The Musical. It's a fun, random episode. Check out Poems from the Weird Kid at www.knightwatchpublishing.com

On this week's episode of The Absurd Podcast, the lovely Hillary updates the world on her journey to get pregnant and her struggles with PCOS. Then we discuss the nutritional value of boogers and talk about asshole tendencies of family members. Finally, I give Hillary some ideas on future Charlie Brown movies. If you enjoy the show, please leave reviews and tell a friend. Check out my new book Poems from the Weird Kid at www.knightwatchpublishing.com Help support new, silly art.

Tony Rey steps in this week to talk about his new diet, as well as his weight loss journey. Then we talk about my latest adventures at the fertility clinic, public restroom woes, and ugly people. We also talk about Tony's great new vlog, which follows him through the last year of his 20's. It is a very silly episode. Check out my new book Poems from the Weird Kid at www.knightwatchpublishing.com Check out Tony's vlog at https://www.youtube.com/user/tonytalksvlog

On this week's episode, I sit down with the talented Amanda Herrera. Amanda is a high school drama teacher, and we dive into the world of theater, musicals, and stupid students. Then we discuss her exploration into the world of lesbianism and her past relationships with both men and women. Then we move on to vaccines and why Amanda is against them, and we discuss some conspiracy theories that she follows. Finally, we throw out our top five musicals of all time. It's a fun, informative episode. This episode is brought to you by piss breaks. Check out my new book Poems from the Weird Kid at www.knightwatchpublishing.com (Also, I'm trying out actual podcast titles.)

On this week's episode of The Absurd Podcast, I talk about my new book Poems from the Weird Kid, entitled people, drowsy boners, and my future restaurants. Then I list my top five horror comedies. This episode is brought to you by butterfly kisses. Check out Poems from the Weird Kid on Amazon or at www.knightwatchpublishing.com

My guest this week is the lovely Hillary. We talk about the addictive nature of Pokemon GO and the recent anti-police mentality that has made its way into American culture. I give my two cents on recent police shootings and my feelings on friends who bash the police. Finally, I end the show by protesting summer heat and naming my Top 10 rain songs. It's a half-serious, half-silly episode of the Absurd Podcast.  Check out my new book Poems from the Weird Kid on Amazon or at www.knightwatchpublishing.com This episode is brought to you by the monster in the closet.

This week is Part 2 with Ramsey Doudar. We talk briefly about marijuana before diving into Ramsey's experience with other drugs including opium and LSD. He describes the effects different drugs had, as well as the expanded consciousness they create. We also talk about religion and the fact that Ramsey grew up Muslim. Finally, we end the show with a riveting round of Fuck, Marry, Kill. This episode is brought to you by The Burger King. My new book Poems from the Weird Kid is out now. You can buy it on Amazon or from my company's website www.knightwatchpublishing.com You can also buy it from me in person via cash or credit card (I have a Square card reader, because I'm that fucking legit). Thanks for supporting.

This week's episode features professional marijuana expert (and weed nerd) Ramsey Doudar. Ramsey moved to Washington two years ago in order to immerse himself in the booming marijuana business. Since moving, he has worked with major companies and has participated in projects involving the design and marketing of new strains of marijuana and marijuana products. We discuss his journey in the business, as well as the path that led to this career. We dive into the legalities and effects of marijuana, and give our very different perspectives on the subject. Then we share some humorous stories from high school and list off our top 5 Marilyn Manson songs. Tune in next week for Part 2! This episode is brought to you by shitty high school acting.

This week is the Father's Day 2016 episode of The Absurd Podcast. I sit with myself and talk about some of my childhood memories and special times with my father. Then I discuss my favorite concert experiences and why they are important to me. I get briefly into the gun debate (just a little bitching) and then I diss British fashion and talk about my unending need to cheer America on in any competition (including poop throwing).  Follow on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Leave nice reviews please! This episode is brought to you by The Boxcar Children.

Dana Smith is my guest this week. He is a police officer and coworker of mine, and he is a talented drummer who has spent much of his life immersed in the world of music with his father. We discuss the army of sperm waiting inside my balls and the life-scarring STD test I had to endure at the hands of a sadistic German doctor. Then we talk about the terror attack in Orlando and the impact it has on our society. Finally, we talk music and discuss Dana's journey as a drummer, as well as some of his musical influences. Check out my new book Poems from the Weird Kid at www.knightwatchpublishing.com This episode is brought to you by Q-Tips.

This week's guest is Alex Herrera, who is a comedian and the host of 2-Count Kick Out (a professional wrestling podcast). We talk family life and masturbating into a cup for science, and we discuss the nuances of pet farts. Then we discuss the latest news in the world of UFC and we discuss some dream matchups between unlikely people. Then we touch on Alex's former job at Fox Sports 1 and end with our top five Simpsons episodes of all time. This episode is brought to you by perfect wiener aim.

This week is a solo bitch-fest of an episode, as I talk about my recent trip to New York City and how much better it is than Los Angeles. I also rant about Bernie's Disney hatred and the disrespecting of America's veterans. Finally, I talk about some of my favorite movies featuring war sequences and my mutant powers.  This episode is brought to you by wives who make you embarrass yourself on the internet.

This week on The Absurd Podcast, the wife and I discuss the perils of eating as a police officer and avoiding semen in my burritos. I also talk about a surprising act from a good samaritan and how odd it felt at the time. Then we give our thoughts on the "Blake Lively is a Racist" controversy and bash the sensitivity of people. Finally, we end the show by going over our Top 5 movie characters that we would be allowed to bang in a dark alley somewhere. This episode is brought to you by anger management. Check out my book Poems from the Weird Kid at www.knightwatchpublishing.com

This week on The Absurd Podcast, I welcome back DeeJay Levier. We talk Captain America and Batman V Superman, and we discuss how silly but great the concept of super hero movies are. We dive into racism and policing (as we always do) and talk about the issue of perception that people face in America. We also discuss racism in corporate America and hilarious stereotypes in porn. I throw out some policies for when I become President and we recast Batman with black actors. It's another fun episode with a funny dude. This episode is brought to you by taco salad. Check out my new book Poems from the Weird Kid at www.knightwatchpublishing.com It is weird, irreverent poetry.

The lovely Hillary steps by the Absurd Studios and talks about the recent death of music legend Prince. We discuss the recent deaths of numerous musical icons, and I list off my top five black guitar players of all time. Then we discuss bad drivers and the many things that irritate me on the road. Finally, we talk about the political controversy that is transgender people in public bathrooms and we each name our favorite movies featuring gender-bending. Please check out my new book Poems From the Weird Kid at www.knightwatchpublishing.com This is the first book for my new publishing company and I am very excited for it. Use the coupon code "fartjokes" for $2 off. If you enjoy Shel Silverstein, but wish he was too inappropriate for your grandma, this book is for you.