Better Conversations on Money and Marriage show

Better Conversations on Money and Marriage

Summary: The money conversations you have with your partner will help determine the quality of your marriage. Every married couple will eventually need to work together when it comes to money. It's possible, it's important, and would you believe it could even be fun?! Encouraging and relatable conversations on money and marriage. Financial entertainment that it inspiring and always worth the 15 minutes. derekandcarrie.com

Podcasts:

 Transitions: Better Conversations on Money and Marriage with Derek and Carrie Olsen. Ep. 006 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 15:00

Life is a series of transitions, abnormal is the norm. (Tweet this) Life can be described as a long series of moments that blend into each other. This current moment in time will blend into the next. Over and over, this 'blending into the next moment' moves forward. The final result will make up the entirety of all the events of your life. Waiting for the perfect moment to act will leave you doing just that, waiting. Waiting until this transitional period of time is over will leave you forever waiting for the stability you think you need in order to act. There will never be a season of life that is not transitional. Entertaining and thought provoking conversations on money and marriage in less than 20 minutes. If you enjoy what you hear, we would love to hear from you. Leave your review on our iTunes page and we will read it on an upcoming episode. Introductionist: Rey Brown, from the I Like Family Show. (Thanks Rey!) When many people think of family, a family tree comes to mind with the branches representing each member of the family. But it doesn't start there. For a tree to flourish it must be deeply rooted. Family is the same way; the only way for us to succeed is to have a healthy home. Marriage and parenting are the two key ingredients to a successful family life. -Rey Brown

 Stealing From Your Spouse: Better Conversations on Money and Marriage with Derek and Carrie Olsen. Ep. 005 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 22:26

Have you been stealing money from your partner? (Tweet this) Jennifer Smith had a moment of weakness at Target. (Can you really blame her?) "I didn’t wait long to call my husband.  In humility and embarrassment I told my husband what I had done.  I apologized for not letting him know my plans or asking if what I wanted to do would be ok.  I repented of my actions and affirmed my husband that I would be more intentional about being in agreement of how we spend our money." Read more about Jennifer's moment of weakness. If your money is combined into one bank account, is it possible to steal from your spouse? Don't ask me, ask the budget. It might feel like you are asking for permission from your partner to spend some extra money, but you aren't. What you are really doing is setting him or her up to be the good guy or the bad guy. Receiving the approval from your partner doesn't necessarily make it OK to over-spend, it just makes it feel OK. Now the two of you have overspend, together. Your budget is the person you should really be asking permission from. The two of you should together review the budget to see if you have room for this extra purchase. Permission from each other simply isn't enough. Now you are both guilty of conspiring to overspend. Your budget is an un-biased third party. When the two of you created your budget at the beginning of the month, you created a living creature. You can't keep secrets from your budget. You can't implement any creative mathematical gymnastics either. Any spending outside the parameters of your budget will show up. It does not matter how much permission you grant each other. Have you found yourself feeling like you stole money from your partner? Entertaining and thought provoking conversations on money and marriage in less than 20 minutes. If you enjoy what you hear, we would love to hear from you. Leave your review on our iTunes page and we will read it on an upcoming episode. Introductionist: J.Money (Thanks buddy!) I’m 6’1, hyperactive, rock a ‘hawk, like drinking beer, blaring hip-hop, playing with my new baby, and am now in my early 30′s – unlike when I started this blog 5 years ago in my 20′s! Oh, and I’m a sucker for old American coins. More fun facts about J.Money at Budgets Are Sexy and Rockstar Finance.

 One Bed, One Bank Account: Better Conversations Podcast with Derek and Carrie Olsen. Ep. 004 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 19:00

If I can trust you in my bed, shouldn't I be able to trust you in my bank account? (Tweet this) Money within a marriage is like a ship at sea. Both partners are on the ship. Both partners have a say in what direction to set sail. One person can take on all the duties, but the sailing is much easier when both partners work together. When the ship finally arrives at its destination, both partners have to accept where they are. Having separate bunks on the same ship won’t allow two people to arrive in two different destinations. Separate bank accounts within a marriage is like having separate bunks on the same ship: You will both arrive at the same destination. Having a 'roommate mentality' within a marriage is at odds with the idea that a marriage is about oneness. Keeping separate bank accounts flies in the face of commitment. For richer OR poorer, not for richer AND poorer. If a married couple keeps separate finances, it would be possible for one partner to be poorer or richer than the other. The idea that one partner could be eating better food, driving a nicer car and going on vacations while the other is living paycheck-to-paycheck is, well, interesting. When things are good, I am all in. When things are bad, I'll be over here watching you sink. Earning, spending, saving, and managing the money within a marriage doesn't have to always be an equal effort. It's not a 50/50 arrangement. It is a 100/100 arrangement. There is not a "balance" to achieve, that isn't the goal. The goal is oneness. Chances are high that one of you will earn more than the other. Throw it all in one pile. The roll of paycheck-earner might shift back and forth several times over the course of a marriage. Keeping score of what money is earned by which partner is a fruitless pursuit. Combining your money gives you the opportunity to align your values, priorities, and goals. In fact, they already are aligned, all of them, all the time. You are both heading in the same direction. A direction that is determined for each and by each. What one partner does with his or her money has a direct impact on the other partner. This is true even if you do keep separate finances. I trust you here, but not there. I don't believe in fragmented trust, respect, and teamwork. I don't believe it is possible to select one area of a marriage and keep that specific area separate. I don't believe you can commit to each other in some areas but not in others. Not possible. Trust is trust. But Derek! We keep our money separate and it's working just fine for us! Is it? Maybe it's not. How is keeping your money apart an example of working together? Maybe it isn't working, it just looks and feels like it is. If your money is separate, where are the two of you planning on going together? (financially speaking) If you have two dogs and you never let them out into the backyard at the same time, you could say that they get along really well. But how would you know? Keeping two dogs in two separate rooms does not mean that "things are working." Yup, we are really great friends, we NEVER see each other. I never said it would be easier. Oneness isn't always easy, easy isn't the point. If your car won't start, not driving it isn't the answer. If your car won't start, not driving it doesn't mean the problem is fixed. (I better stop while I am so far behind it looks like I am ahead.) -Derek Are you married and keeping your money separate or together? Let us know what is working for you. Entertaining and thought provoking conversations on money and marriage in less than 20 minutes. If you enjoy what you hear, we would love to hear from you. Leave your review on our iTunes page and we will read it on an upcoming episode. Introductionist: Jeff Anderson (Thanks Jeff!) Jeff simply has a gift for seeing "ordinary" scriptural truths in fresh new ways, and challenging people to expect more from their journey with God.

 Posting Our Monthly Budget: Better Conversations Podcast with Derek and Carrie Olsen. Ep. 003 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 19:32

I feel financially naked! It feels good, it feels right. We posted our monthly budget. (Tweet this) If you shared your budget with another couple, the facts of your situation won't change. What will change is the way you feel about your budget, which could lead to deeper conversations about how you are managing your money. Do you have a financial accountability couple? How would sharing your budget (with someone you trust) change how you approach managing your money? Talking about money with an accountability couple might bring up ideas that you had not thought of. Claiming to already have all the good ideas will leave you with only your ideas to work with. Newsflash: Other people have good ideas too. Sharing your budget with another couple is a two way street. Chances are extremely high that, not only will you learn something and feel better, the couple you share with will too. It has also been said that the best way to learn something for yourself is to teach it to someone else. Newsflash #2: Other people could learn from you. We thought and prayed about posting our budget online for over a year. We were very nervous about posting our budget at first, but we are so glad we did. The feedback has been incredible. Thank you for all the positive encouragement! You have inspired us and we hope to continue to inspire others. (Read this explanation on why we decided to start posting our budget.) Most people keep their financial information private. Is this helping? If times are tough or everything is splendid, keeping it private won't allow you to be encouraged or to be an encourager. I believe if we were more transparent about money the financial intelligence of the entire population would increase. An increase in financial intelligence would reduce the amount of mistakes, stress, and learning the hard way. We could drastically reduce the personal finance learning curve by sharing what we know withe each other. More important than how much money you earn or have is what you do with it. Sharing your budget isn't a game of comparisons, it's a chance to be transparent, learn, teach, and move forward. Who would you share your budget with if you chose an accountability couple? Entertaining and thought provoking conversations on money and marriage in less than 20 minutes. If you enjoy what you hear, we would love to hear from you. Leave your review on our iTunes page and we will read it on an upcoming episode. Check out this article I wrote for my buddy Dustin Richmann at Engaged Marriage. "A conversation about money doesn’t have to include all the details in order to be incredibly helpful. A casual conversation about your current financial situation will be infinitely more helpful than no conversation at all. You don’t have to share specific numbers in order for the conversation to be helpful. Simply talking about your experience, your current circumstances, and your financial goals can be enough to make the time well worth it. Take it slow if that is more comfortable for you." We aren't the only crazy people who post our budget. These crazy, er, awesome people posted their budget too!  Introductionist: Cliff Ravenscraft (Carrie and I learned how to podcast from Cliff.) Thanks Cliff! "I am a firm believer that if you Pursue Your Passion, The Money Will Follow!" -Cliff Ravescraft

 We Have a Problem: Better Conversations Podcast with Derek and Carrie Olsen. Ep. 002 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 15:00

In life, there are problems that you solve and there are problems that you manage. (Tweet this) Confusing these two realities is the source of mountains of frustration for many people. Attempting to solve a problem that you are supposed to be managing could leave you scratching your head and ready to quit. Re-visiting your budget each month is not a sign of previous failure. Imagine feeling like a failure each month as you visit the barber shop. "But I JUST cut my hair last month! I must have done it wrong, otherwise I wouldn't be back here getting my hair cut again." It can be understandable to feel like the problem keeps coming back because you didn't take care of it last time. But that is not the case.  Although it could feel like you are revisiting the same problem, each monthly budget is actually brand new. Solving is a once and for all task. Managing is ongoing. (And that is a good thing.) Creating a new budget each month should be an ongoing opportunity for growth not another frustrating failure. This month's budget is similar to, but not the same as last month's budget. It's all new money and all new bills. This being true, you actually cannot revisit and try to resolve the same problem over and over. Stay encouraged as you tackle each new monthly budget. Entertaining and thought provoking conversations on money and marriage in less than 20 minutes. If you enjoy what you hear, we would love to hear from you. Leave your review on our iTunes page and we will read it on an upcoming episode. Introductionist: Jami Nato (Thanks Jami!) hi, i'm jami nato. one thing you should know about me is that i cuss sometimes. but i really love Jesus. i don't pretend to have it all together and we never will because we can't! that's why we need a savior.

 We Need To Talk: Better Conversations Podcast with Derek and Carrie Olsen Ep. 001 | File Type: audio/mpeg | Duration: 19:00

The conversations you have with your partner about money will help determine the quality of your marriage. (Tweet this) As a married couple, you will eventually find yourself in a place that you may or may not want to be (financially speaking). You are helping each other move towards that place, good or bad, based on the conversations you have about money. You are most likely the most powerful influencer on your partner. Carrie and I believe that financial communication within a marriage is THE MOST IMPORTANT determining factor for the financial outcome of your relationship. Every married couple will need to figure out the money thing at some point in time. You will either be forced to by an un-welcomed and un-wanted event, or you will chose to take charge early. Figuring it out together is the only way to achieve true success. Walking down the financial path separately and alone won't help the two of you get on the same page. Working together is the only way to arrive at the same, agreed upon destination. You will both end up in the same place financially, it is impossible not to. Choosing that place ahead of time, together, is only way to enjoy it once you arrive. Carrie and I were forced to figure out the financial aspect of marriage early. We narrowly avoided a foreclosure on our house. The process almost ruined us financially. But as a result of working together, our relationship is now better than it would have been otherwise. Encourage each other along the way. Entertaining and thought provoking conversations on money and marriage in less than 20 minutes. If you enjoy what you hear, we would love to hear from you. Leave your review on our iTunes page and we will read it on an upcoming episode. Introductionist: Dan Miller, Author of 48days to the Work You Love. (Thanks Dan!) Dan Miller, President of 48 Days LLC, specializes in creative thinking for increased personal and business success. He believes that meaningful work blends our natural skills and abilities, our unique personality traits and our dreams and passions. Dan is active in helping individuals redirect careers, evaluate new income sources, and achieve balanced living. He believes that a clear sense of direction can help us become all that God designed us to be.

 You won’t believe who has it all figured out. | File Type: video/mp4 | Duration: Unknown

Apparently, just talking about financial common sense is so odd, it's hilarious. If everyone just did what they teach in this skit, I would be out of a job! Let's cut the crap and let the experts talk some financial sense into us all...   Favorite quotes: "Don't buy stuff you can not afford." (Hilarious!) "If you don't have any money, you should not buy anything." (You must be kidding!) "And where would you get this 'saved money'?" (I'm confused!) "Lets say I don't have enough money to buy something, should I buy it anyway?" (Are you joking?) "I buy something that I want, and hope that I can pay for it, right?" (Yup, that sounds about right)   Who knew SNL was so financially responsible? Maybe this skit should be required for all high-schoolers, college grads and fully-grown-adult-humans.  

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