Transforming Monday

We all have rough patches from time to time.  Nobody is happy all the time.  If we were, we wouldn’t be people, we’d be game show hosts! It’s been a rough week here at the Transform Radio ranch, and when I found jalapenos in the olives I was using to make enchiladas, I realized that sometimes life is like that.   ——————————— Subscribe to the Transform Radio podcast on iTunes…. and g’head and give us a 5-star review so more folks can transform their lives! Connect with us on Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest!  I love hearing from all of ya…the good, the bad, and the ugly.

We all have rough patches from time to time.  Nobody is happy all the time.  If we were, we wouldn’t be people, we’d be game show hosts! It’s been a rough week here at the Transform Radio ranch, and when I found jalapenos in the olives I was using to make enchiladas, I realized that sometimes life is like that.   ——————————— Subscribe to the Transform Radio podcast on iTunes…. and g’head and give us a 5-star review so more folks can transform their lives! Connect with us on Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest!  I love hearing from all of ya…the good, the bad, and the ugly.

When you take their opinion personally, especially if it’s negative, by your offense you’re agreeing with what they have to say about you. The second agreement is all about being secure in who you are, knowing yourself, and accepting who you are. You know your path. You know your journey. You know how far you’ve come and how far you’ve yet to go. People who fling insults at you don’t. Taking them personally is agreeing with them and giving them power to control your life. You control your life…not them.

When you take their opinion personally, especially if it’s negative, by your offense you’re agreeing with what they have to say about you. The second agreement is all about being secure in who you are, knowing yourself, and accepting who you are. You know your path. You know your journey. You know how far you’ve come and how far you’ve yet to go. People who fling insults at you don’t. Taking them personally is agreeing with them and giving them power to control your life. You control your life…not them.

Now, if you’re like me, the initial impression of this first agreement is that it simply means “do as you say, say as you do” and “tell the truth…always.”. Well, that’s only a minor part of it. Almost every major religion/philosophy has a teaching about the power of words. In Christianity it’s “the tongue has the power of life and death”. In Buddhism it’s “Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind they can change our world.”

Now, if you’re like me, the initial impression of this first agreement is that it simply means “do as you say, say as you do” and “tell the truth…always.”. Well, that’s only a minor part of it. Almost every major religion/philosophy has a teaching about the power of words. In Christianity it’s “the tongue has the power of life and death”. In Buddhism it’s “Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind they can change our world.”

In the introduction to The Four Agreements, Ruiz talks about how we, as people, are domesticated like our pets by our parents, our teachers, our family, our friends, and we learn, through a series of rewards an punishments, what and who everyone else thinks we should be in order to gain acceptance. Changing from this norm creates fear, and that fear keeps most of us trapped in dull, drab, unhappy, unfulfilled lives. We create this idealized version of who we're supposed to be...someone, by the way, we can never live up to be, and we use this idealized version to judge ourselves and declare ourselves guilty.

In the introduction to The Four Agreements, Ruiz talks about how we, as people, are domesticated like our pets by our parents, our teachers, our family, our friends, and we learn, through a series of rewards an punishments, what and who everyone else thinks we should be in order to gain acceptance. Changing from this norm creates fear, and that fear keeps most of us trapped in dull, drab, unhappy, unfulfilled lives. We create this idealized version of who we're supposed to be...someone, by the way, we can never live up to be, and we use this idealized version to judge ourselves and declare ourselves guilty.

One of our family routines is we watch a show called "The Middle". Tonight, the Hecks won a trip to New York City, yet were besieged by challenges in getting there to the point that their flight was rerouted to the nearest non-snowed in city, which happened to be Pittsburgh. As they landed in Pittsburgh, everyone but Sue Heck, the middle daughter, wanted to quit and go home. She stood firm, determined to celebrate the biggest thing that ever happened to her and not let her dream die in Pittsburgh. In the closing voice over, the Mom said these fateful words.... "Luck will get you to Pittsburgh...perseverance will get you to New York City" How many times in your life has "luck" gotten you to your own personal Pittsburgh and left you a 9 hour bus ride from your dream destination, your New York City? The difference between your dream dying in Pittsburgh and living your dream in New York City is simply perseverance, discipline, and hard work.

One of our family routines is we watch a show called "The Middle". Tonight, the Hecks won a trip to New York City, yet were besieged by challenges in getting there to the point that their flight was rerouted to the nearest non-snowed in city, which happened to be Pittsburgh. As they landed in Pittsburgh, everyone but Sue Heck, the middle daughter, wanted to quit and go home. She stood firm, determined to celebrate the biggest thing that ever happened to her and not let her dream die in Pittsburgh. In the closing voice over, the Mom said these fateful words.... "Luck will get you to Pittsburgh...perseverance will get you to New York City" How many times in your life has "luck" gotten you to your own personal Pittsburgh and left you a 9 hour bus ride from your dream destination, your New York City? The difference between your dream dying in Pittsburgh and living your dream in New York City is simply perseverance, discipline, and hard work.

There's a television show called "What would you do?" that presents morally and ethically challenging situations and the films the general public, unaware, and what their reactions are. Character is often said to be composed of what you do when nobody is looking. I think the amendment to that is character is what you do when everyone is looking and it's damn uncomfortable. A discussion at the dinner table tonight about Star Wars, Doctor Who, and the ethics of sacrificing who you are for the greater good set this thought train in motion. Come along for the ride and think to yourself... "What would I do?"

There's a television show called "What would you do?" that presents morally and ethically challenging situations and the films the general public, unaware, and what their reactions are. Character is often said to be composed of what you do when nobody is looking. I think the amendment to that is character is what you do when everyone is looking and it's damn uncomfortable. A discussion at the dinner table tonight about Star Wars, Doctor Who, and the ethics of sacrificing who you are for the greater good set this thought train in motion. Come along for the ride and think to yourself... "What would I do?"

There's no disagreement that there are some truly offensive things in life...war, death, famine, poverty, racism, injustice, etc.  There's also not much disagreement that there are things that are offensive to some of us but not others. This isn't what we're talking about. We're talking about choosing to be offended at everything! You know, those folks who take EVERYTHING personally, view EVERYTHING as an attack on them... the Debbie Downers and Paulie PartyPoopers. Chronic "offendedness" like that is often a sign of deep seeded insecurity in the chronically offended. Choose to live joyfully. Choose to express gratitude. Choose to let things go. Choosing to be offended is a guaranteed way to drive away those close to you. ----------------------------------------- Connect with Transform Radio - On Facebook , On Google+, On Twitter, On Pinterest, On iTunes (oh, and we love 5 star reviews!) Via Email @ christian@transformingmonday.com Thanks for visiting and have a fantastic day, rockstar.  Remember… it is what it is and the next stop is anywhere you decide it to be.

There's no disagreement that there are some truly offensive things in life...war, death, famine, poverty, racism, injustice, etc.  There's also not much disagreement that there are things that are offensive to some of us but not others. This isn't what we're talking about. We're talking about choosing to be offended at everything! You know, those folks who take EVERYTHING personally, view EVERYTHING as an attack on them... the Debbie Downers and Paulie PartyPoopers. Chronic "offendedness" like that is often a sign of deep seeded insecurity in the chronically offended. Choose to live joyfully. Choose to express gratitude. Choose to let things go. Choosing to be offended is a guaranteed way to drive away those close to you. ----------------------------------------- Connect with Transform Radio - On Facebook , On Google+, On Twitter, On Pinterest, On iTunes (oh, and we love 5 star reviews!) Via Email @ christian@transformingmonday.com Thanks for visiting and have a fantastic day, rockstar.  Remember… it is what it is and the next stop is anywhere you decide it to be.

In a recent post on TransformingMonday.com, I asked "Are you the black sheep of the family?" Based on some of the responses I got, some are, some aren't, and man, are there a bunch of misconceptions about who black sheep are and what they believe. Listen in as we: dissect the myth that black sheep are simply rebellious, unmotivated, directionless slackers who hate their families decipher that "family curses" are simply familial beliefs passed down, often unintentionally, through generations learn that black sheep, more often than not, come from relatively normal, uneventful childhoods build a bridge of understanding between the black sheep and the rest of the flock. Black sheep are people too... ----------------------------------------- Connect with Transform Radio - On Facebook , On Google+, On Twitter, On Pinterest, On iTunes (oh, and we love 5 star reviews!) Via Email @ christian@transformingmonday.com Thanks for visiting and have a fantastic day, rockstar.  Remember… it is what it is and the next stop is anywhere you decide it to be.