Ask Mr. Biggs

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . . Is not familiar with standard Asian pronunciation rules. Argues that microwave meals are underrated. Discourages conflict resolution via physical confrontations. Tends to easily lose track of time when chatting with old friends. Can be fooled by genuine-looking certificates. Questions family alliance when money is involved.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . . Steadfastly opposes the filing of fraudulent documents. Is no match for automated telephone dialing features. Appreciates brevity in electronic correspondence. Recommends repurposing everyday items to increase their usefulness. Feels it’s important to protect Dolly Parton’s good name. Expresses uncertainty about his ability to recognize less common nuts.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . . Advocates the use of vinyl surfaces beneath office furniture. Is adamant about using the right measuring devices to measure ovoid objects. Encourages deliberate consumption of between-meal sweets. Is compelled to remind listeners of talk show caller etiquette. Interprets the subconscious messages inherent in footwear shoelace patterns. Frowns upon overpriced haircuts.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . . Advises callers to gather their thoughts prior to going “on air.” Finds endomorphic ladies appealing. Feels that ownership of an item lies inherently in one’s ability to disassemble it. Suggests professional help when dealing with seasonal pests. Waives his strict “No Caps” policy for his part-time employees. Is intimidated by compact folding blades. *content advisory* – This episode contains salty language that you’d be embarrassed to use in front of your mother.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . . Shuns common workplace terms in favor of more whimsical-sounding substitutes. Prefers age-appropriate ladyfriends. Suggests browsing one’s analog collection prior to the digital broadcast transition. Cautions against the feeding of feral animals. Believes in the secure storage of firearms and ammunition. Encourages the proper sealing of refrigerated goods.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . . Posits his theory regarding the properties of liquid-resistant incendiaries. Continues to be impressed by the depth and breadth of information available from internet resources. Dislikes person-to-porcelain contact. Possesses instant recall for many obscure trade-specific euphemisms. Now knows what to omit from the “special skills” section of his resume. Reveals the versatility of specialty laundry products.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . . Feels strongly about matching pipe and joint sizes. Extols the expertise of computer manufacturer-provided technical assistance workers. Has doubts about gender authenticity in the celebrity impersonation industry. Uses popular promotions to stimulate customer activity. Laments the flavor degradation of slightly over-cooked coffee. Questions the feasibility of keeping specialty beverage consumption accessories on hand.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . . Recommends using protective eye wear while operating power tools. Suggests a forward approach when considering workplace relationships. Warns against heeding ill-advised instruction from under-informed people. Considers unconventional bit choices when tackling non-traditional DIY projects. Uses coded language to protect the listener’s delicate sensibilities. Bestows the value of specialty tools in emergency situations.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . . Places high value on personal appearance. Uses acronyms to recall helpful phrases. Dislikes being sidetracked by poor memory. Suggests better living through technology. Uses creative pricing to draw in customer traffic. Doesn’t care for video game playing.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . . Uses unorthodox methods to identify respiratory ailments. Reveals the secret to weight loss success. Suggests improving one’s appearance to lift spirits. Presents a variation on a popular Japanese pastime. Spreads his wisdom in 140 characters or less. Feels the financial pinch of today’s down economy.

"Ask Mr. Biggs!", is a fictitious, small town radio call-in talk show. Caller audio comes from real calls lifted from real talk radio shows. We remove the original host from the conversation, re-arrange the parts a bit, and insert Mr. Biggs as the new "host."

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . . Questions the quality of non-name brand adhesive tapes. Creates promotional offers to draw in celebrity clientele. Uses thorough search terms for optimal search engine results. Counts himself among the many who have embraced social networking trends. Champions the visually impaired and their special sensory gifts. Likes descriptive, no-nonsense nicknames.

In this episode we learn that Mr. Biggs. . . Turns delivery mishaps into popular lunchtime specials. Combines organizational tasks with social bonding activities. Makes insightful use of visual metaphors when explaining complex, difficult-to-grasp size and/or spatial dimensions. Has no idea what happened to the missing Figure 8 Race tickets. Knows all too well about the self-aggrandizing tendencies of the younger crowd. Makes careful distinctions between different kinds of accidental fluid exudation scenarios.

In this episode, more practical advice from the Tri-County area’s most prolific advice giver. First, Mr. Biggs helps a listener sort out the difference between exotic foreign cuisine and more common local fare. Then we hear Biggs’ take on what to do when an apartment dweller is confronted with tricky DIY repairs. Have pen and paper handy for jotting down notes. "Ask Mr. Biggs!", is a fictitious, small town radio call-in talk show. Caller audio comes from real calls lifted from real talk radio shows. We remove the original host from the conversation, re-arrange the parts a bit, and insert Mr. Biggs as the new "host."

In this episode, Mr. Biggs clarifies several misconceptions about the effects and consequences of carelessly placed electrical appliances. Later, a lesson in both clarity and brevity. Also, a longtime listener queries Mr. Biggs about a common, but often neglected, gardening issue. "Ask Mr. Biggs!", is a fictitious, small town radio call-in talk show. Caller audio comes from real calls lifted from real talk radio shows. We remove the original host from the conversation, re-arrange the parts a bit, and insert Mr. Biggs as the new "host."