Thursday Morning Big Book Step Study

(week 56) 24 January 2013 Big Book Step Study Workshop   More About Alcoholism page 42, line 7: ‘I had never been able to understand people who said that a problem had them hopelessly defeated…’ until end of second paragraph: ‘This process snuffed out the last flicker of conviction that I could do the job myself.’   Soul Work Look up: humanism, concede, hopeless   I saw that will power and self-knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots. Q1.  What is a strange mental blank spot? Write about what you know about strange mental blank spots. (Some of you may never have had one or not realised you had one). Have you ever experienced one when all you knew about yourself, about recovery, about everything was gone?   I had never been able to understand people who said a problem had them hopelessly defeated. Q2. Are you one of those people who really believe that there would be no problem in your life that had you hopelessly defeated?   I had never been able to understand people who said a problem had them hopelessly defeated. I knew then it was a crushing blow. Q3 What was it a crushing blow to?   Q4. Do you have a problem that has you hopelessly defeated? And if so do you have an action plan around it?  Or if not, why is this?   This process snuffed out the last flicker of conviction that I could do the job myself. Q5. Do you think you can do the job yourself?

(Week 55) Big Book Step Study Workshop 17 January 2013 More About Alcoholism from page 41 start of final paragraph: “As soon as I regained my ability to think…” until page 42 line 7 ‘…self-knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots.’ Soul work look up: consequences Q1 Self-knowledge availed us nothing. Write about that giving example going back into your addiction. Q2 We meet Fred in second paragraph page 39. How do you relate to him, his story, the similarities and the differences? Name and claim them and really know yourself. Q3 How are you doing with: a) Seeing your own selfishness? (Which comes from a brutal inventory) b) Your willingness to ask God to stop selfishness? Give specifics for example re. ageing parents, siblings, the workplace & co-workers, spouse/children. c) What is your action plan? Q4 How are you doing in your relationships broadly with giving from an unselfish motive? Q5 Consequences can be a huge teacher. ‘If I can stop blaming others for consequences and just look at me and what my part of setting the ball rolling in how the consequences played out, I will get so much information about myself.’ Write on this with at least one example of consequences as a teacher. Q6 At what moment in your life did you realize you had an alcoholic mind? Or write: I have not gotten to that point yet. Or perhaps you do not have an alcoholic mind. [recording to come soon]

Soul Work Thursday 1/10/2013 Chapter 3: More About Alcoholism page 40 from middle of second paragraph: ‘I reasoned I was not so far advanced as most of you fellows…’ until page 41 the end of first paragraph: ‘…Then came the hospital and unbearable mental and physical suffering.’ Underline subtle insanity (line 19, page 40). Words: Subtle Vigilant Precedes Vital Questions: 1. Constant vigilance in our spiritual disciplines will give us the eyes to see and the ears to hear subtle insanity. Write on that. 2. Now that I’ve really talked about this, are you really living with any subtle insanity in your life? And if you are what is your action plan around it? I felt I had every right to be self-confident, that it would by only a matter of exercising my will power and keeping on guard. 3. What do you think about the word self-confidence? [Definition of self-confident: you have the ability to exercise your own will power and to keep on guard your thoughts.] What do you think about replacing it with the word humility? Own this sentence. 4. Can you exercise your will power? (40:2) Can you keep on guard? 5. Can you relate to this binge? (41:1) and if you can, did you experience unbearable mental suffering and unbearable physical suffering?, and write on it.

Big Book Step Study Soul Work; Thursday January 3, 2013 Page 39 begin first paragraph (39:1) – Page 40 end of paragraph 2 (40:2) Words: Bitter Questions: 1) What does it mean to you to be absolutely unable to stop your addiction on the bases of self-knowledge alone. 2) Read Chapter 11 - A Vision for You, in the Big Book 3) Have you broken through that deep down denial that self-knowledge ( ex. “you can beat this addiction”) within your 12 Step Fellowship will be the answer? 4) Write about how today you appreciate the Big Book ideas about the “subtle insanity that precedes the first drink, but I was confident it could not happen to me after what I learned”, but how learning wasn’t enough? (40:2) 5) Where are you in all this? Are you willing to surrender that you need God not just in addiction, but in all thoughts and actions, so you do not live in a state of selfishness and self-centeredness.

Soul Work Thursday 12/27/2012 Chapter 3: More about Alcoholism - page 37 middle of paragraph 3 ( “We now see that…”) -thru page 38 end of paragraph 2. Words: Nervousness Anger Worry Depression Jealousy Deliberately Spree Insane Insufficient Casually Absurd Incomprehensible Passion Jay-walking Ridicule Ridiculous   Questions: 1. Take page 37, paragraph 3. Re-listen to, and own paragraph. 2. Re-read page 38, paragraph 2, ending with the question “but isn’t it true?” Answer that. 3. What is your action plan for today, December 27, 2012? 4. What is your action plan for next year?  

(week 51) 20 Dec 2012 Big Book Step Study Workshop From More About Alcoholism page 37 beginning of 2nd paragraph: ‘You may think this is an extreme case…’ until middle of 3rd paragraph: ‘…our justification for a spree was insanely insufficient in the light of what always happened.’ There is no soul work for this week. Stephanie would like meet with our buddy or buddy groups to share and evaluate whether or not this past year of the big book workshop has been a useful process. Pray and meditate on it. If we believe it has, we can then start 2013 with total commitment and if not, can consider whether another of the many ways of studying the big book might better suit us. The group will be meeting on Thursday 26, December 2012 If you have missed any of the workshops take this week to give yourself the gift of catching up on the website www.12stepstudyworkshop.com. For the callback 641 715 3900 pin 95666# Consider making a donation for the upkeep of the website which have on-going expenses. You can either donate by Pay Pal on the website or send payment to: Stephanie Whiting P.O.Box 64 Hanover, MA 02339 Happy Christmas!  

(Week 50) 13 December 2012 Big Book Step Study soul work   More About Alcoholism page 34 from last para beginning: ‘How then shall we help our readers determine…’ until end of first para page 37: ‘How can such a lack of proportion, of the ability to think straight, be called anything else?’   Write down: Move a muscle, change a thought.   Look up: precede, dominates, experiment, mystified, irritated, suddenly, vaguely.   So we shall describe some of the mental states that precede a relapse into drinking, for obviously this is the crux of the problem. Q1. What is the crux of our problem?   What sort of thinking dominates an alcoholic who repeats time after time the desperate experiment of the first drink? Q2. You cannot think yourself out of addiction because it’s a thinking problem.  Write about this.   Q3. How do you change a thought when thinking about addiction? Is it working for you (are you really sober/abstinent etc)?  If not maybe need to think about other ways.   Q4. Write on repeating time after time the desperate experiment of the first drink.   Q5. Pick out the mental states/dis-ease that we have - from top of page 36 to the end of Jim’s story.   He failed to enlarge his spiritual life. Q6. Write about the scenario Jim experienced and then own it by writing about your own history or reality.   Q7. How can such a lack of proportion that Jim had of the ability to think straight, be called anything other than insanity? Write on this.  

Big Book Step Study Soul Work; Thursday December 6, 2012   Page 33 Beginning of paragraph 3 (33:3) – Page 34 end of paragraph 2 (34:2) Words: Gravely Potential Cease Impossible Questions: 1)  What does having a personal boundary mean to you? Physically, Emotionally and Spiritually? 2)  Do I accept that there are different degrees of addiction and how much somebody has to have to set them off? 3)  Did you try on different occasions to stop and then think you had it licked? (34:1) 4) Take the first 3 sentences in paragraph 2 (page 34 in the Big Book and write on it.

Big Book Step Study Soul Work; Thursday November 29, 2012 Page 32 Beginning of paragraph 1 – Page 33 end of paragraph 1 Words Lurking Notion Immune, Grace Questions 1) ‘Keep your eyes on your own recovery’.  Write about what that means given what Stephanie explained about moderate, problem and real alcoholics. 2)  “We have heard of a few instances where people, who showed definite signs of alcoholism, were able to stop for long periods of time because of an overpowering desire to do so”. Put your story into this. Have you put something down and resolved to not do it again? 3) When you have an overpowering urge to do something, what is your plan of action going to be? 4) Take the story on page 32, paragraph 2: ·         Do you find areas in your life the story parallels? ·         Points of differences? ·         Awareness’s you’re getting from the story? ·         How you’re going to implement?  … Ask God to help you take action. 5) Have you experienced grace? Write about your experiences with grace? 6) Do you see the parallel nature of grace and psychic change? 7) Do you believe that will power can be used for recovery? 8) How do you use your will power? Do you use your will power? 9) Where are you today? Explore the question of will power in order to explain to your sponsees. 10) What does it mean to have a particular mental twist already acquired? (Middle pp 33:2) 11) How are you doing on your Quiet Time?

(46) 15 November 2012 Big Book Step Study Workshop More About Alcoholism reviewing last paragraph on page 31: ‘We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself. Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition.’ There is no workshop on November 22nd, Thanksgiving Day. (There will be workshops on December 27th and January 3rd). Soul work. Q1. After Stephanie’s introduction explaining about the website and what being recovered means to her, what does recovered mean to you? Who is running your show? Are you still trying to run your show or are you able to sit back and say: ‘Thy will God not mine be done.” Q2. How do you help a confused newcomer to come to the realization of what they are addicted to and what they need to do to be God-honoring to themselves? Q3. Look up integrity. Write the word ‘integrity’ in large letters across the top of page 32. How do you rate your integrity? a) I like the way I am. I feel I have integrity. b) I am not quite where I want to be but I know God will help me. c) I am not where I want to be and know that this process will help me. d) I don’t have integrity, God please help me. Where are you on that continuum? It may be worth a bad case of the jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition. Q4 What is the fully knowledge of your condition? Soul Work for week beginning November 22nd, Thanksgiving Day. While there is no workshop that week, this is the soul work for the buddy group and buddy meetings. For anyone new: Your assignment is to go to the website 12stepstudyworkshop.com and listen to three or four early recordings of the workshop. Listen and take some notes and bring them to the Sunday group that meets 10-11am EST(712-432 0800 587213#). Share your writing on what you gleaned from the workshops with your buddy group. Call people from the members’ list to find a buddy. For those who have been here from the beginning this is a review: Return to the Foreword of the first edition. 1a. What is the spiritual we? 1b. What is the purpose of the Big Book? 2. Return to the Doctor’s Opinion. What is the doctor’s opinion? 3a. How is Bill’s Story like your own story? Be as specific or general as you want. 3b If you really want to do some digging go into Bill’s Story and see your similarities Chapter 2, There Is A Solution 4a. What is the solution? Be as specific or general as you want to be. 4b. From the Foreword until top of page 32 look up the words that you have got definitions for and share with the group any words that you know you need to bring up.

Soul Work Thursday 11/01/2012 Chapter 3, More about Alcoholism - page 30 paragraph 1- thru paragraph 3. Words: Vain, Persistence, Illusion, Astonishing, Fully Concede, Delusion, Pitiful,  Incomprehensible, Demoralization Questions: 1) Why isn’t my Quiet Time a way of life for me? 2) What is the resistance to having a QT? 3) Do you believe that having a relationship with a God of Your Understanding is what the 12 Step Study process is all about? 4) Are you willing to admit that you are bodily different than others? 4 a) Are you willing to admit that you are mentally different than others? 5) Do you still obsess that someday you’re going to be able to go to …ex. a party and drink a fancy cocktail, or buffet and eat without weighing? What is your great obsession? 6) What are you obsessing about? … putting your time and energy into? 7) Can you relate to the story I just told you? Identify and own where you are at? About holding resentments, gossiping, 10th step, hangover, and living in recovery by sharing our experience. 8) Are you in delusion about what you can handle in any behavior, people, or substance? 9) What was the last delusion you were in? Write it out. How did you or how are you resolving it in a healthy way? How did it affect your food, sobriety, sleep, etc. … 10) Was your illness progressive? Write out your story. Notes (week 44) 1 November 2012 Big Book Step Study – notes on the workshop More About Alcoholism, page 30 from start of the chapter: ‘Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics…’ until end of 3rd paragraph: ‘Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.’ Stephanie encourages us to go to the handout page at: www12stepstudy.com and read ‘slips’ by William Silkworth – AA conference approved literature. Dial 641 715 3900 pin 95666# if you cannot make the live workshop. Third Step Prayer. Set Aside Prayer (see website for handout of the Big Book references for this). Donation for the website: Stephanie Whiting PO Box 64 Hanover MA 02339 As Stephanie has been saying every week since this workshop began in January, Quiet Time is vital. Q1 Why isn’t my Quiet Time a way of life for me? Q2 What is the resistance to having a Quiet Time? Q3 Do I believe that having a relationship with a God of my understanding is what the Big Book Step Study workshop is all about. If you are having trouble with a Quiet Time see the website for the 12-week  Trust and Rely workshop. Call 641 715 3900 pin 97200#.  Each week a new led Quiet Time half hour is available. You can do it with Stephanie until you get on your feet and it is part of your life as it is today for Stephanie. It took her a long time to see that having a relationship with God could replace one with the dysfunction of addiction.  In Stephanie’s opinion that is the Big Book’s answer. Recommend listen on the playback (same phone no. + pin 95546#) for Katie speaking about a higher power and Step 10 at last Tuesday’s Big Book meeting. The live meeting is Tuesdays 3-4 EST on same tel.no. and pin. Most of us have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics This means you are unwilling to admit that you need God to stop your addiction. There are many people who say they are an alcoholic but they think that going to meetings and doing the tools will keep you sober.  They may not drink but will be a dry drunk.  Stephanie doesn’t want to be a dry drunk. She wants to live so that she can be happy joyous and free and have others ask “what the heck do you do. You don’t drink and you’re happy?” A real alcoholic is willing to admit that they cannot stay clean of their addiction and they cannot have the joy of living by just going to meetings and working the tools. Stephanie says just about every week how important going to meetings and working the tools are. She does this on a daily basis as she is not cured, but she does not just rely on that.