John London's Inferno

John starts by taking a look at doctors and the specialties that they choose. Guess which one we focus on? Then John talks about our pernicious government. Next…John talks about the results of the ENCODE project and its impact on evolution. BTW. Have you heard about the lady who made a commercial jet land early by continuing to sing a Whitney Houston song during the flight? John shines the spotlight on her! Jack Beaker calls in with another La Quinta Motel Massacre bit. This could be the grand finale! The character uprising continues! Look for the union label!

The Inferno wants you to give your Mom something she will remember forever! How about a podcast? And may we suggest Show 93? John opens up this week’s big show by dispensing a little Muslim justice. Dr. Cheryl will be quite inquisitive this week. John talks tattoos and piercings. Next…John shares a couple of horrible thoughts with us. Boy…horrible thought 1 is bad. But…horrible thought 2 is worse. And just when I was recovering from the mental image of Nancy Pelosi planted head first on the moon…Jack Beaker calls in with another La Quinta Motel Massacre bit. This bit was smokin’ hot. Heinz calls in and shares with us his love for Joan (or possibly Joanne) Rivers. Just dew it! Could the Inferno be a union shop soon? We get to listen in on the meeting. It doesn’t look like John is going to win Mr. Congeniality in Infernoville anytime soon. Look for the union label!

John begins the show with a little segment where he vents his frustration with companies that ask you to take a survey every time you call them to do some business. Next on John’s radar screen…the Boston Bomber’s mom. And then…mail call! John shares some correspondence with us! Lawrence got a voice work job! He shares! Blake Whipash is still scene walking…and he lets John in on some phone calls that are going on behind his back. Guess who? That’s right! It’s those Crackers again! BAD Crackers! Stupid Idiot has fallen for the Cracker’s “siren song.” He is now trying to unionize the characters. Hey, Jack Beaker contributes another scene to the show. It’s…The La Quinta Terrorist Disaster! Abdul and Sayed spend some time at La Quinta. Dr. Cheryl contributes a scene to the show also. Can a show get a scene walker when it needs one. Ahhhh! He’s just in time!

John starts off this week’s show by concluding his presentation on evolution. Hey…good news! Jack Beaker is back and better than ever! This La Quinta Hindenburg Disaster bit is a blast! John goes on a search for the cast member who is listening to the Joan Rivers podcast. The crackers from Crackertown call Jonathan again! They are some bad crackers…and we could use a hero to walk into this scene and save the day! We finally get to the bottom of the Joan Rivers mystery. Is it true that the definition of the second law of thermodynamics in the dictionary is a picture of Joan Rivers? If not…it should be!

John starts off by looking at the moral decay within our society. John moves from the Romeo and Juliet law to the mother of the alleged Boston Marathon bombers. Next…John does a little housekeeping and shares some listener comments with us. We find out some things about the cast members of the Inferno that I don’t think we wanted to know! John then takes on the topic of evolution. Can the viewpoint of the evolutionist evolve when evolution is not the solution? Jack Beaker calls in. He’s been at it again! Hey…Kippy’s back in show business! Hoooray for Hollywood! Crackertown strikes again!!! Don’t do it Jonathan! And Jonathan…you need to watch more football. Wow…we get to enjoy a new La Quinta Massacre bit. Meat axes are on the menu this week. Now THAT’s entertainment! Blake seems to have a new “skill.” Can Blake “scene walk” into the Guiseppe Molinelli bit? I’m not going to tell you…we want you to listen.

STOP LISTENING TO JOAN RIVERS! Then…John comes out swinging with a little “Masters talk.” A 14 year old can play golf. John says…big whoop! Tianlang Guan has been busy while he’s been in America. John moves on and comments on the Tiger Woods controversy. No…not THAT controversy…a NEW one! The crackers are STILL up to no good. Just to be PERFECTLY clear…I am talking about the talking crackers from Crackertown. Are you taking Chantix? John has something to say about the drug’s side effects. John has some very good reasons why he wants you smokers to quit. John goes after Kim Jong Un. Why not…no one else will! Kim Jong Un calls in! Wait! That wasn’t Kim Jong Un! John shares a cautionary tale. John wraps up the show with an observation about dirty hands, Abraham Lincoln…and us. Wait! One more thing! A Beatles reunion? I knew it would sound like that!

How did Google commemorate the resurrection of Jesus? John lets us know. It seems North Korea is very interested in Austin city limits. Not the PBS TV show…the actual city! Kim Jong-un needs to loosen up and spend some time with Toby Keith! John is worried! So are all of the neighborhood dogs! Coming next week: John on science. John tells us a little story about Ignaz Semmelweis. I think this might be a good place to mention the benefits of Purel hand sanitizer. Jack Beaker calls in again…and he’s contributing more content. Wow! Apparently…Kippy is a big Beaker fan! We learn that Jonathan is not a gambler…and the crackers are still up to no good. Any of you have $600 bucks? If so…stay clear of Jonathan. Could John and Detective McGurty be “bonding?” Nah!

John saw the Christian dating service commercial on TV and makes some observations. Then…John talks about the progressive movement, God, and the population. Jack Beaker calls in with a big surprise! We get to hear the new La Quinta commercial! Now that’s a busy motel! The “siren song” of Crackertown seems to be too strong for Jonathan to resist. Those crackers have gone bad! But not as bad as the bet they want him to make! Jack Beaker produces a skit for the show. Thanks for contributing to the Inferno Jack! All of the sudden…I’m feeling a little queasy!

John starts off by educating us on what will happen when we turn 60 years old. Burial vs. cremation? Watch John move the monologue from cremation to a nice juicy steak! Mmmmmm good! Next…John shows that he is the friend of all children. Jack Beaker of La Quinta motels calls John in response to some Inferno activities that took place in one of their rooms. The Zombie Kippy is back. Or…is he? Looks like Crackertown lives…kind of! Mr. and Mrs. Sociable are up to something…and Jonathan is falling for it! John visits Guiseppe Molinelli’s Italian restaurant for the second grand opening. Oooops…some Kippy confusion! Emily to the rescue! That Zombie Kippy can sure take on a lot of lead! Looks like it’s not a good day to be a Zombie in Infernoville.

John addresses a listener complaint. John then moves on to the topic of gun control…and the larger issue of big government and its effect on our freedom. Kippy stops by. He has a new “friend.” Brock Muldoon is going to help with Kippy’s “friend.” Blake Whipash is going to help protect Lawrence from the backlash he will surely experience from his stand-up comedy routine. Don’t worry Lawrence. Your life may be at risk…but it’s only because we don’t understand your artistry. Lawrence…keep your non-existent head down! Hey Brock…thanks for giving it the old college try with the Zombie Kippy. Nice shot Emily. Nighty night Zombie Kippy. Blake and Lawrence get to the hotel room without incident. Gennifer returns as Djennifer! Yayyyy! Well…Djennifer didn’t last long! Bye bye Djennifer.

John reveals the true motivation for Inferno character voice performances. Hey…where are MY food pellets? John then hits “a hole in one” while looking at Rory McIlroy’s latest round of golf. Next…we learn how sequestration will affect podcasting. Don’t worry podcasters…Obama will save us! John moves on from podcasting to absurd responses. Kippy drops by. He’s made quite a find. It seems that Kippy is acting a bit strange…uh…stranger. And John has a surprise for Kippy in the freezer. Sol drops by with a gift…and John makes some good points about food hygiene. John gets a call from hell. Bad news for the Nittany Lions…and bad news for a Carnival cruise passenger. But remember…what’s bad news for characters in Infernoville…is good news for you!

John starts off the show with a way to really freak out a lady with a baby. Please don’t attempt this at home. You should be a professional or under the strict supervision of a professional before trying to pull this one off! John revisits the “So God made a democrat” bit from a couple of weeks back…and while he’s at it…he comments on all things democrat. John then talks about Mindy McCready’s dog. Blake Whipash makes off like a bandit. Detective McGurdy dies like a bandit. Guess where Detective McGurdy is headed. Hello…Land of Castoff Characters. Hey…it looks like everybody is going to get out of the Land of Castoff Characters. Did I say everybody? So much for Cracker Town. The escape from the Land of Castoff Characters is a gas! Everything is back to normal in Infernoville. Well…as normal as things get in Infernoville.

John has a few things to say about the Jessie Jackson Jr. scandal. Next…John looks at the three things that people have a hard time saying. John then moves on to the story of the Carnival Cruise Ship of Horror! Uh-oh…John is NOT spreading the rumor about the final Pope. John then jumps to the State of the Union address. The Wiz finally gets to meet his statue. That doesn’t look like it’s going to end well! Hey…the Wiz is back on the show. Welcome back Wiz. What happens when you rear-end a Mary Kay salesperson? John explains. John seems to have found a new skill set. He can sell! Blake Whipash swings by the house and he’s going to help the Wiz. Let’s all say goodbye to Brock. Well Brock…it’s off to the Land of Castoff Characters for you. Good news! Someone finally finds Cracker Town! OK…its bad news! This show has been approved by Pierce Brosnan!

John starts off the show with observations about a very stupid gnat. Hey…we’re celebrating! 2000 subscribers! Wooo hooo! Moving on…John talks fantasies. No…not those kind! And John shares his once fantasy (now goal) with us. Next…John lets us listen in on a phone call between a mother and her son. We can all appreciate this tight knit family and the bond of love that unites them. Brock stops by and gets the bad news about the Mr. Piggles statue. The Wiz gets a call from Kippy. Wow…the Wiz’s phone is smokin’! He gets a call from his statue too! I hope the Wiz has Vonage or some other low cost long distance phone service. I know what you’re thinking! No…I didn’t get paid for that sly little product placement ad in this post! Really! I didn’t get $300 for the mention. I would never do that. And..after promising to give John half…I would never tell him that I got $200 so that I could pocket the other $100. Anyway…John breaks out the London family Bible. I think this Bible has some verses that aren’t in the Bible I have…but it sure makes some sense! Paul Harvey…eat your heart out!

John briefly comments on the Chuck Hagel confirmation hearings. And if Chuck Hagel isn’t cheesy enough…John shares his latest Kraft Easy Cheese adventures and observations with us! John also analyzes the Super Bowl. Does he focus on the Harbaugh brothers? Nope! The “read option” oriented Pistol Offense and how to defend it? Nope! John takes a look at Beyonce…who will entertain us at halftime! Wait a minute! Who shot Sol? Well…that little assassination attempt was not quite as suspenseful as the “Who Shot J.R” storyline from the 1980’s smash tv show Dallas…because…spoiler alert…John did it! Guiseppe Molinelli recites his poem that he wrote for Ray Lewis! Things are not going well for the Wiz’s characters. Looks like they’ll be watching the Super Bowl from the Land of Castoff Characters.