Wired's Footnotes show

Wired's Footnotes

Summary: At Wired, we report on all manner of topics, from science to tech to culture, and in so doing we’re bound to drop some delightfully obscure topics and language. But don’t fret. Matt Simon is here every week with Footnotes to recap the most ravishing lingo and ideas that adorn Wired.com. It’s like English class, but with more crude photoshops and fewer Gatsbys.

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  • Artist: Wired
  • Copyright: Copyright 2013 CondeNast. All rights reserved.


 Ep. 29: What Color Did Velociraptors Paint Their Amazing Nails? | File Type: video/x-m4v | Duration: 3:02

We're talking about the greatest rivalry the field of paleontology has ever seen: Edward Drinker Cope vs. Othniel Marsh, two men with differing views on how exactly velociraptors painted their nails.

 Ep. 23: Footnotes Does Memes | File Type: video/x-m4v | Duration: 3:24

Why did Keyboard Cat cross the road? So he could cash in on a totally sweet advertising gig, of course. Selling pistachios, of course.

 Ep. 28: God Declares War on Cauliflower | File Type: video/x-m4v | Duration: 2:47

On this episode of Footnotes, we cry havoc and let slip the locusts of war. You see, god regrets inventing cauliflower because it's really icky, and he has the tools to eradicate it. Namely locusts. And maybe nine other plagues unleashed upon Egypt.

 Ep. 27: Fairies, Sarah Palin and Other NyQuil Nightmares | File Type: video/x-m4v | Duration: 2:39

On this episode of Footnotes, Missy Elliott tries to get me to drink Sprite while in the digital realm Donkey Kong throws barrels of beer at a lady who just wanted some whiskey.

 Ep. 26: What's Worse for Humanity, Planet-Melting Supernovas or Paula Deen? | File Type: video/x-m4v | Duration: 2:56

We're confronting enemies within and without. First, the infamous Pied Piper and his distant relative Paula Deen. One of them endangers children, and the other is the Pied Piper.

 Ep. 25: Jedi Cat Tricks and the Exotic Dance of C-3PO | File Type: video/x-m4v | Duration: 3:21

So you will find a special Star Wars episode of Footnotes, in which I trace a few of the many cultural and historical influences on the films.

 Ep. 24: Caffeinated Goats, Spiders on LSD and Mickey Mouse | File Type: video/x-m4v | Duration: 3:14

We're talking about caffeine, specifically how you can thank goats for discovering the wonders of coffee and why if you want a nice web you should give a spider LSD before you give it a cup of tea.

 Ep. 23: Donny the Ill-Tempered Squid and Other Reasons to Nuke the Oceans | File Type: video/x-m4v | Duration: 3:07

This week on Footnotes, we ask: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? No one, because the giant squid have murdered everybody.

 Ep. 22: Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia and Unicorns on Noah's Ark | File Type: video/x-m4v | Duration: 3:45

This week on Footnotes, I accidentally prove that unicorns hitched a ride on Noah's ark and demonstrate how the ordinary UPC more than likely isn't the mark of the beast.

 Ep. 21: A Year-End Blooper Spectacular of Spectacular Incompetence | File Type: video/x-m4v | Duration: 3:36

Hard to believe it's been another year. Well, that's misleading. Footnotes has only been on the air since July. But that doesn't mean we can't compile a blooper episode. It's less labor-intensive for me anyway.

 Ep. 20: Mermaids and Other Hybrids That Don’t Drive Really Slowly in the Fast Lane | File Type: video/x-m4v | Duration: 3:14

We're talking about hybrids that don’t have four wheels. These are hybrid creatures.

 Ep. 19: Death-Dealing Swag, Now in Convenient GIF Format | File Type: video/x-m4v | Duration: 3:28

The GIF finally gets named word of the year by the Oxford English Dictionary, and Footnotes is there to congratulate it.

 Ep. 18: Dodos and Butterflies Acting Up | File Type: video/x-m4v | Duration: 3:31

The mysterious butterfly effect, in which a simple flapping of a butterfly's wings leads to Judy Garland becoming a murderer. It's science.

 Ep. 17: A Booze-Soaked Special for Post-Election Anguish/Euphoria | File Type: video/x-m4v | Duration: 3:40

This week on Footnotes: a special episode on alcohol, which just so happens to come right after the election.

 Ep. 16: Chuck Norris, Hobo Conventions, and Infinite Doppelgängers | File Type: video/x-m4v | Duration: 4:18

This week on Footnotes: Chuck Norris kicks your doppelgänger in the face -- twice. And we set to drifting with the hobos, and Pee-wee Herman.


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