Summary: Positive Discipline is a program designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful and resourceful members of their communities. Based on the best selling Positive Discipline books by Dr. Jane Nelsen, Lynn Lott, Cheryl Erwin, Kate Ortolano, Mary Hughes, Mike Brock, Lisa Larson and others, it teaches important social and life skills in a manner that is deeply respectful and encouraging for both children and adults (including parents, teachers, childcare providers, youth workers, and others).
Try a silent (secret) signal. (Kids love the secret part—especially when they have helped create it.) Creating silent signals can be part of “taking time for training” (another great tool card).
The Positive Discipline Tool Card of "Control Your Behavior" is sometimes easier said than done. Have you ever lost control of your behavior with your children? Listen to the following audio excerpt from Building Self-Esteem Through Positive Discipline as I discuss a time when I completely lost control with my daughter.
Imagine you are an employee who has made a mistake, and your boss comes to you and says, “You go to time-out and think about what you have done. And don’t come out until I say you can.” Or, if you are married, imagine your spouse coming to you and saying, “I don’t like your behavior. You are grounded for a week.” In either of these scenario’s what would you be thinking, feeling, and deciding. Is there any chance that you would say, “Oh, thank you so much. This is so helpful. I’m feeling so encouraged and empowered and can hardly wait to do better.” Not likely.
One of the most encouraging things parents can do for their children is to spend regular, scheduled special time with them. You may already spend lots of time with your children. However there is a difference between have to time, casual time, and scheduled special time.
Have you ever tried talking with your children only to be frustrated by one word, unenthusiastic, totally bored responses? Many parents become discouraged when they ask their children, “How was your day?” and their children say, “Fine.” Then they ask, “What did you do today?” The response is, “Nothing.” Try closet listening.
Some of you may know that a Hug is one of my favorite Positive Discipline Tools. During this podcast you will understand why as I interview Beth Whitehead after she sent me the following success story.
Extensive research shows that we cannot influence children in a positive way until we create a connection with them. It is a brain (and heart) thing. Sometimes we have to stop dealing with the misbehavior and first heal the relationship.
When your child becomes a teenager, it is not uncommon for them to become defiant. They will often contradict you and even try to sabotage your best efforts to create a harmonious family life. This can be very discouraging to parents and usually results in constant power struggles.
Dr. Jane Nelsen interviews Marianne McGinnis who shares some results of using the techniques she learned while attending a Teaching Parenting workshop. Some of her comments can be read at: http://blog.positivediscipline.com/2007/10/workshop-results.html
Dr. Jane Nelsen interviews Stanton Peele author of Addiction Proof Your Child: A Realistic Approach to Preventing Drug, Alcohol, and Other Dependencies. www.janenelsen.com
Create a positive time out plan for yourself. It could be a soak in the tub, getting in the shower (where kids can’t follow), going into the bathroom, locking the door, and turning on the stereo, taking a short walk (if your kids are old enough), sitting on the floor in the lotus position and chanting, whatever works for you. Let your kids know your plan and that you will use it when you need to calm down. Be sure they know this is "for" you, not "against" them. http://blog.positivediscipline.com
My guest for the latest Positive Discipline Radio podcast, Focusing on Solutions, was Aisha Pope, and LCSW from San Diego with Families Forward-East where she teaches Positive Discipline Parenting classes. She shared two wonderful success stories, followed by some comments from me. http://blog.positivediscipline.com
Dr. Jane Nelsen discusses the revised edition of Positive Discipline for Parenting in Recovery : A Guide to Help Recovering Parents http://empoweringpeople.com/family.html
Dr. Nelsen talks about her favorite Positive Discipline tool. Holding regular Family Meetings is one of the most valuable things you can do as a family. Why have Family Meetings? http://empoweringpeople.com/download.html Read more about Family Meetings on Dr. Jane Nelsen's Blog. http://blog.positivediscipline.com/
Dr. Nelsen answers a question on how to avoid morning hassles. Also what to do when your children spend time in homes where Positive Discipline is not used. http://www.empoweringpeople.com/family.html Show notes: http://positivediscipline.com/podcast/