Parenting Today’s Teens

#2185 Sometimes a healthy pursuit can have unhealthy manifestations. Like trying to belong and fit in. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens. When your teen seeks personal validation from peers… this isn’t inherently bad. It may look like rebellion to you. It may lead to inappropriate behaviors. And some strange choices in clothing and music at times. But in reality, your teen is just a little off track. So …how do you steer a kid that’s headed in the wrong direction? Well, let your child’s choices teach him the truth. If he looks like a dork, he sounds like an idiot, he acts like a jerk… eventually… he can’t continue in that direction without facing deeper trouble. Let him face those consequences without rescuing him. That’ll do more to change his future behavior than anything you can ever say. Failure is an irreplaceable education for living in the real world!

#575 – Student Story: Alexa Ever wonder why your son or daughter hangs around with a questionable group of friends? Are you worried that your teen is being dragged down by his peers? This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston helps parents make sense of their child’s choice of friends and protect their teen from choosing the wrong crowd.

#2184 I work with troubled kids. Teens who’ve lost their way. And their parents often ask me what to do when their teen is arrested. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens. Well… I believe in allowing a child to own the consequences of his behavior. I believe it’s best to not bail a kid out right away… especially if he truly deserved being arrested in the first place. It’s a tough decision, but letting your child sit for a day or two in jail may be the lesson that’s needed. And correction at a younger age is far better than imprisonment for a lifetime as an adult. Think about it. Jail time might just speak to your son or daughter louder than you ever could! It’ll bring a sobering sense of reality to the choices… and consequences!

#2183 When you have an older teen spinning out of control and not responding to your discipline… it may mean you have a very important choice before you. You can let that teen stay at home and wreak havoc in the household. Or… you can ask him to leave. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens. It’s a difficult decision. But parents shouldn’t allow one out- of- control teen to destroy the good things going for the rest of the family. Sometimes the best option for an older teen is to release them. Let them go. And as parents, we should pray for their growth and development in the world… in ways they weren’t grasping at home. Scary. Yes. But sometimes a child won’t listen to our advice …until he gets to the end of himself.

#2182 At Heartlight… our residential counseling center for troubled teens… one of my jobs is to repair the horse fences. I need to ensure that the boundaries are strong. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens. These sensitive… and sometimes stubborn… creatures need to know where they can go, and where they can’t. If a horse breaks any part of a fence, I fix it. When they constantly push on the fence to the point it becomes weak… I reinforce it with stronger wood. Well, personal boundaries are like good fences… they offer protection and help define what’s good. Establishing …and constantly reinforcing… strong boundaries with your teen will insure that even if they push their limits, they won’t get lost, or tread into unknown and dangerous territory. So mom … dad … keep buildin’ and protecting those fences! Some day …your kids will thank you.

#2181 Change is tough. And, usually, change creates all kinds of conflict. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens. God has called you, as a parent, to work toward better things for your family… even if that means instigating stuff that makes your kids uncomfortable. You’re standing for the good, honorable and necessary things that will make your home a better place to live in today… and years into the future. In fact… your decisions may even impact the family for generations! So… let the conflict come. I’d even encourage you to embrace conflict. Bring it on! It’s a sign that real change is happening! You have the power to point your family in the right direction. So, be encouraged, mom or dad… God’s working through you… even in the conflict!

#2180 Matthew 6:27 says, Can any of you add a single hour to the span of your life by worrying? Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens. Well, let’s be honest. No matter how hard we try …it’s really hard not to worry about your kids. Especially when they’re acting out in unacceptable ways. It’s scary to watch your child choose the wrong things, and struggle as a result. But part of the reason God may allow your child to struggle through some things is to teach you to believe that He is in control. And that you can trust Him. Here’s another verse for you. Jeremiah 17 says … Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord… for he will be like a tree planted by the water… and will not fear when the heat comes. Its leaves will be green and it will not be anxious in a year of drought. Do you find yourself weary from worry? Relax. God can be trusted.

#565 – Student Story: Tucker How do you react when conflict rears its ugly head in your family? Do you yell? Get defensive? Give the silent treatment? Get emotional? This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston presents seven ways to argue effectively and use conflict to your advantage.

#2179 Some years ago at the residential counseling center for troubled teens… called Heartlight… we helped a girl through some particularly tough issues. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens. After a lot of hard work and the unconditional love of her parents, she was able to move on to a new life with both joy and celebration. And just recently, I tearfully watched her say her wedding vows. The bride wore a ring on both hands… one that we gave her to represent victory in her personal life… and her new wedding band. At a special moment, she said to me, “I wouldn’t have my wedding ring without first having the ring you gave me.” It’s a reminder that a teen’s future isn’t cast in stone. It can be steered in the right direction no matter how off course it’s been in the past. Don’t give up. Don’t lose hope. Keep believing that your sons and daughters can turn emerge to be all God created them to be.

#2178 The world our kids live in today is far different from the one you and I grew up in. As kids move into their teen years, they face unimaginable pressure to turn away from the values you’ve worked so hard to instill in their lives. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens. Raising kids in church, home school or a Christian school is no guarantee they’ll turn out as the godly, refined adult you’re hoping for. In fact… many parents wake up one morning to discover their teen has changed into a person they don’t even know. Is that your experience? Doing everything “right” …only to find it didn’t work? Teens today need moms and dads who’re constantly adjusting their parenting style to fit the times. If things aren’t working… don’t keep doing what you’ve always done! Change it up!

#2177 I’ve met parents who post a list of rules on the fridge… and expect the kids to fall in line. But more often than not… that piece of paper does nothing more than annoy and embarrass the kids. And frankly …it doesn’t work. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens. In the teen years, nothing’s more important than developing relationships between parents and kids. Because rules without relationship causes rebellion. So here’s what I suggest. Take time to get with your teen over breakfast or dinner or coffee. And do it every week. Regular, intentional time… where you’re lookin’ each other in the eyes and letting your teen talk. It’ll foster the atmosphere where healthy relationships can thrive. Over time, you’ll find this weekly get- together will be a place to share your own stories. Your own faults. Even a place where your teen will talk about deeper concerns, life questions and dreams. You’ll be surprised how rules take care of themselves …once there’s a relationship!

#2176 A man struggling with terminal cancer once told me, “I try not to stand too long on the mountain, and I don’t sit too long in the valley. I live one day at a time and try to keep my attitude somewhere near the middle.” Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens. In a situation that was totally out of his control… this man trusted God for one day at a time. And I’ll tell ya, he experienced a deep sense of peace… even in his darkest days! Perhaps you’re in a situation where things are dark, as well. It may not be cancer… but the anger, disrespect and tension at home has worn you down. My hope is that this quick word from a cancer patient… will be a reminder to you. Today, live just one day at a time. Stay near the middle. And know that in the midst of the chaos at home, God is still in control.

#2175 When a teenager is causing problems in the family, he isn’t the only one in need! Moms and dads desperately need support, as well. Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens. In the heat of relentless family conflict, most moms and dads become battered, worn down… or even devastated. In fact, a teen spiraling out of control can lead to the break up of an otherwise strong marriage. I’ve known lots of parents who are dying on the inside… but are too embarrassed to reveal their weaknesses to others. If that’s you… get over it! You gotta talk to someone! Get coffee with a trusted friend and spill out your heart.

#564 – Student Story: Santana Do you love your kids conditionally or unconditionally? Seems like a silly question, right? Unconditionally, of course! But you might be surprised by how many teens say their parents only love them up to a certain point. This weekend on Parenting Today’s Teens, Mark Gregston explains how to communicate unconditional love to your teen.

#2174 There’s no perfect formula for bringing a teenager to maturity. But… there are three ingredients that’ll give you a good head start! Hi, I’m Mark Gregston… with Parenting Today’s Teens. First. Unconditional Love lets them know there’s nothing they can do to make you love them more, and nothing they can do to make you love them less. Second. Grace gives them room to fail …and then encouragement to learn from their mistakes. And third. Truth is the correcting influence that balances their actions with what’s right and wrong. Living out the truth also means that consequences come when they step over the line! Love, grace and truth. Take those three… flood your home and relationships with them. It’s the foundation for raising healthy, godly and mature young adults.