The Bitterest Pill: The Dan Klass Monologues

I talk about my need for a new coding system, so I know when a woman is interested in me and when she is just being polite. “What’s Your ’17?'” “Butterscotch?” “Lima bean?” My daughter’s school did a production of “Chicago.” Should high school students really be doing Fosse? The Northbound Season 3 Kickstarter Campaign

I was trying to network…

All I wanted was to get some frozen yogurt on a Saturday night, and maybe get my daughter’s phone fixed.

No, we did not pay $400 to fly a keyboard to my parents’ house and back. But we almost did. We went to Arizona on Christmas Day and our daughter wished for snow. Silly girl…  

This is sort of a reprise of Hudson’s first appearance on the podcast way back in 2004. In this episode, like back then, we talk Christmas music, except now his voice is much deeper (and apparently so is mine). Here’s a Spotify playlist of most of the songs we played. Baby, It’s Cold Outside and Chance the Rapper’s Tragedy are available at SoundCloud. Hudson’s (Corwin) album Amber is available everywhere you find music. (Spotify) Get 14 days FREE, no obligation

We discuss my work on a new sports podcast (no, that is not a typo), sexy old ladies and getting punched in the face… The sports podcast is Somethin’s Bruin, part of the Bleav Network. THE BITTEREST PILL is now proudly hosted on SimpleCast. Get 14 days FREE, no obligation.

(April 2011) My daughter got slapped in the face at school by one of her friends.  Then, the next day, a couple of boys tried to test her karate skills by punching and kicking her.  Of course, this is the same day that my father sent me the YouTube video of the tiny Australian bully who got body slammed by his much larger victim.  After seeing the video I was tempted to unleash my daughter on anyone who messes with her. Of course, this is dangerous stuff, and you can’t have kids going around body slamming each other.  At least not here in American.  What I find fascinating, however, is the concern (by attorneys)  that if the school didn’t punish the bullied kid as well as the bully, it would establish body slamming as the Rule of Law in the school.  Then, from then on, bullies would be open to being body slammed every time they punched a kid a couple times in the face.  And the attorneys are talking like this is a bad thing.  Don’t you think that, if the bullies thought there was a real danger of being tossed into the concrete every time they picked on someone, there would be a decline in bullying?  Yeah, me too. My son is the most brilliant kid I know.  He also has rocks in his backpack.  I don’t know why.  I think it is just to infuriate me. Luckily for all of us, there is now an allergy medication that you CAN take with orange juice. This episode wasn’t part of PillBox Too. I just didn’t know what image to use… 45 min, maybe 50?

I had to go to IKEA to return a rug, a floor lamp, and two desk lamps.  But, before I could do that, I had to find the receipt for the floor lamp and the desk lamps. And, before I could do THAT, I had to remember everything I did on the day I bought the lamps.  I could remember what I wore, what I didn’t wear, what I paid with, where I parked, where I couldn’t take a cart… What I couldn’t remember was where I stashed the damned receipt. At some point during this recording, I had to change microphones.  I think my trusted Audio-Technica AT3035 (discontinued) mic finally gave out.  I took a few moments to mourn the passing of an old friend, and quickly replaced it with another mic.  Listen, I love the old mic, but the show must go on.  Right? I tell a story about having to drive to Burbank to buy a telescope on the same day I had lunch with my old college friend the celebrity priest.  I hit a lot of traffic on the way to lunch, so the trip to a lot longer than I expected.  Or could stand. The photo above is of BEER.

The air circulation system in Studio G is officially dead, so I had to record this one in Hudson’s empty room, which didn’t help with the bout of nostalgia I’m dealing with these days… I ended  up writing, directing and starring in a short called “The Perv.” You know what every great heist needs? A crew…

Finally back after a long summer. Don’t worry, I’m still an idiot. An idiot who apparently isn’t sure he can function outside the sprawl of endlessly repeating chain stores and Starbucks that is Los Angeles… I went to Upper Michigan to do some acting I’ve been looking forward to for years. For all my neurotic mind flushing and anxiety about not having access to Target, I think it went well. Dear Yuppers – I miss you. Season 3 of Northbound is on its way. Please consider contributing to the Kickstarter campaign when the time comes. You can watch Seasons 1 & 2 now exclusively at seeka.tv. Season 3 will be EPIC.

My thumb clicks, my daughter’s friend “disappeared,” and…I don’t know, something else. I already can’t remember what I talked about in this episode… Music is Breeze Funk by Malaventura

A blast from the past: March 21, 2011 Do you think I should worry that my kids go to school in an official tsunami danger zone? By the time the Japanese tsunami got to California, it was only a couple feet high.  But, what if the plate that slid near Japan makes another plate slide and causes a tsunami here in California?  My house is in no danger, but the wave would take out my kids’ school, a large marina, and The Home Depot. We decided we’d throw a party for Hudson’s 12th birthday.  Which meant we’d need to paint a couple walls and fences out in the backyard, and put down something on the flat area where the weeds grow.  Degenerated granite or decomposed granite or de-evolved granite.  I don’t know what it’s called.  We put down gravel instead anyway. It is absolutely amazing how many “whites” there are at the paint store. ORIGINALLY A PREMIUM EDITION Just over 55 min.

I’m fat, hungry and willing to cut off parts of my body.

The story of Podcast Movement ’17 continues, after a few brief updates… Yes, cars can fly. It turns out, there’s even video from the POV of the bus the car almost hit…   ———————————————————————————– Dan Klass as “Dan Klass” Dave Jackson as Dave “The Man” Jackson Marc Johanssen as The Cool Guy with the Long Hair John Ellison, III  as The Funk Master – Podcastgroove/Funkinthefirstdegree.com Dirk Primbs as The Tall Hansome German Guy Mark Asquith as “Mark, I think from Manchester?” Jonathan Oakes as “That Game Show Guy?” Joel Sharpton as Himself (uncredited) Ramona Rice as Her Adorable Self ENJOY!

A bit of an experiment with some new equipment, recording in my living room. I can hear the difference, but I’m, you know…me. I start the tale of Podcast Movement, giving my acceptance speech for my induction into the Podcast Academy Podcaster Hall of Fame, and how I am in desperate need of validation. Yes, being inducted into a hall of fame isn’t enough… Music by Tri-Tachyon