From The Nook Podcast | Unconstrained

I take a trip down memory lane in today’s episode of From The Nook.  I will admit I sound a bit manic in this one but that is because I worked out just before recording and I was on a natural high.  Feel the burn babies but believe it or not it’s just me.  Anyway, yeah I talk about childhood dreams and all that Portland and Oregon offers us lucky souls that live here, like the most strip clubs per capita than any other state, bikini coffee stands and being fined for building your own reservoir. In this episode I discuss: Help Support my Habit Crack is Whack Bend over Oregon; I’m giving you some Twilight. The Record Breakers Bikini coffee stands in empty parking lots Proud to be an American But wait there’s more.   !!!HELP SUPPORT MY HABIT!!! As always share my podcast with friends and enemies Lonald  

Comedy is a complicated beast especially to those that don’t understand how it really works.  A job of an Audience member is supposed to be an easy one.  Laugh and hopefully laugh hard.  Comedians have several different roles depending on experience and comedy strengths.   As host and M.C. (Master of Ceremony) you are basically the grand master of a parade.  Your job is not so much about being funny but moving the show along safely to its final destination.  Some hosts just want to be funny, not caring about anyone who has to follow their new horrible bit about mass shootings in a movie theater in Colorado.  Yeah, it might be too soon, idiot.  On the bright side, my life is going well considering I had to be witness to brash, undeveloped material and loud sound effects because one doesn’t know anything about mic control.  Maybe I’m an ass, but I’m lucky enough to have my very own podcast to talk about these small annoyances in my life. I can even work on brash, undeveloped material behind the mic in a safe environment where my listeners have come to understand this is my process before bringing it to the masses.  Hey, I have an idea, instead of leading an entire audience to its unavoidable doom; you too should have a podcast to piss out your ideas.  At the very least, use a recording mechanism, priest, or therapist.  I know it is tough being you; it was tough for us to be around you so I get it. There is help though, but it starts with one listener, not 150 who paid to laugh. In this Episode I discuss: The importance of being a good M.C. Ambassador To The World Abridged version of what was planned Now let’s talk about BlogTV Look Ma, no arms! As always, share this podcast with your friends and enemies Lonald

        I just returned home from vacation/tour of the east coast, where I spent a week in the New Jersey, Philly area. I decided to get right back to the podcast because I haven’t talked with you people in a while.  I was very motivated because my podcast was among a several local podcasts reviewed in The Portland Mercury. They had this to say: “Angry, personal, and utterly unfiltered, comedian Lonnie Bruhn's podcast is tailor-made for people who think Marc Maron's been a little too cheerful lately. “-Alison Hallett I don’t really see myself as angry, a bit cranky at times but angry, that I’m not so sure of.  Either way in ep20 I’ll get to the bottom of that and what better way than to also get to the bottom of my Mezcal and swallow my very first worm.  Of course, this is all in celebration of this surprise review.  Let’s see if I can get angry about it. In this Episode: I’m not angry, am I? My career is on fire! Hey is thing on? Colorado Shooting Sensationalism: Wouldn’t be funnier if it was Chick-fill-it   Help financially support a comedian in the trenches along with his family.  They need our support while they try to wrap their hearts around the fast and harshly changing environment we take for granted.  Read the full story here and donate as much as you can: http://calebmedley.com/help As always please share my podcast with your friends and enemies. Lonald    

  I take to the road after a week off of the podcast and decide to bring The Nook with me on the road.  My Nook is in a sad hotel room in Richland, WA but it is my duty to give you an insight of my emotional state while traveling. In this episode I discuss: Staying at Hotel California and eating at the Lonely Cafe Fourth of July is an American holiday that captures the essence of our Culture in an M80 slash smoke snake. You are FAT, that is true, but this isn’t about you Hang it up Lonnie! Clicker ‘er Down! Click it! Don’t forget to share the podcast with everyone you know and those you hate. Lonald

This last 3 months have been tough for me personally.  I wish I could pretend it hasn’t been.  It’s not that I haven’t had my great moments; it’s just that Rachel and I have been pushed to our emotional limits.  In ep18 as I exploring this concept and rant about my personal challenges, I realized something… I have no right to complain about anything.  Really, I have my own podcast and I’m throwing a pity party?  There are people who are sleeping under awnings in downtown Portland and I’m mad because I didn’t get a break today.  Wow!  If the only thing I have to worry about is the fact I might not make enough votes to make the top ten of the world’s stupidest online contest, my life is grand and I should simply shut my pissy little baby mouth.  There is a defining moment in this episode when I realize this and I couldn’t be happier it happened.  It opened my eyes and humbled me. In this episode I discuss: I’m more ashamed I entered this online contest than anything I’ve ever done. A chicken Fried Steak Workout They call it “The Cancer Tower” Craig’s list baby crib debacle Go to this websiste to vote for me:  You have to search blacksheepcomedy via the command/ctrl function and sign up but afterwards voting is easy can be done once a day. http://www.gotcast.com/casting-calls/page-tko/Fresh-Faces-Comedy-Contest/70170?utm_source=internal_emails&utm_medium=sendgrid&utm_term=internal_email&utm_content=email&utm_campaign=internal_emails Share with everyone you love and hate Lonald

I’m back from wine country and it was a much needed break.  Some were wondering, hey am I pregnant, and the answer to that is no.  I wish I could say that because of last week’s sappy emotional state I was in. I wish I had a great excuse like pregnancy but I don’t have the parts. Maybe ladies you shouldn’t use this either. How about chalking it up to having no self-restraint about your feeling and I will do the same.  Own your feelings and your actions and move through life unashamed.  I’m tired of people telling us how we are supposed to feel, and act.  I’m tired of people telling us what is acceptable because their own comfort level is being jeopardized.  Now you are telling us that us crippled people can’t use the term because it offends you? Boohoo, walk it off…because you can. Meanwhile, I’ll own the word… because I can. In this episode I discuss: I dated a midget in the fourth grade It’s so difficult to rub you off Fraudulent credit cards and pizza Crippled are the minds of those Read the stories here: Story #1 Story #2 Lonald  

The one thing I’ve learned over the years of being a comedian is that there is no way to make 100% of your audience happy.  You see, inevitably there will be someone in your audience that will get riled up about something.  That person does not get comedy and never will.  These people are not Republican based radical conservatives nor are they left wing liberal tree huggers.   There is no stereotypical breed that fits this kind of door nail empty-headed mentality.  They simply are a comedian’s worst nightmare, and do not get comedy. These people can’t take a joke and their life is too serious to see the irony of it all.  They hate to smile; all forms of happiness of any kind and their simple mission in life is to suck the joy from the world.  I would think people like this would die young from some sort of cancer brought on by their thriving hate, but usually they live way beyond our need for them to exist.  Some comedians feel the need to officially apologize if they offend them.  I do not.   I apologize for no one, if you don’t get the joke than you aren’t going to accept anything I say to correct it. Good, you hate me now, and I hate you.  Move on and die already and I’ll continue to entertain the ones who really get it.    In this episode I discuss: My first time skyping and you’re going to mock me with a digital sperm beard? Things that go bump in the night Rod Stewart urban folklore  Jason Alexander official apology makes no difference, what a surprise.  His apology letter is here:

When I started this personal podcast project I had no idea that it was going to end up being therapy for me.  Never once did I think sitting in front of a mic in a breakfast nook in my house was going to allow me so much freedom.  The kind of freedom to flesh out my thoughts in way that would not only improve my style of comedy I perform but also leave me so naked, sharing things on an even more intimate level than stage.  It did though, so I figured why should I be the only comedian to have that opportunity.  I should give other comedians I respect the opportunity to “Nook” out a rant or two.  What better way to get to know us and how we really think.  Instead of an interview, why not just hand the mic over and let them have the confessional that is this podcast. I did just that.  So with great love, respect and admiration, I welcome my first guest speaker to The Nook:  Out of Philadelphia, PA, Comedian Chris Smith. In this episode: Crapping my pants on New Year’s Eve. The Educational system from someone who actually knows the Educational system North Korea is beautiful this time of year, but Chad is pregnant. I’m coming back to the world as a thong on the ass of a supermodel…That is my religion! Dr. Seuss makes reading challenging for any adult Don’t forget to share this with your friends and enemies, review it Itunes and get the word out! Lonald

So today it may seem like I'm in a bad mood but I am not. The podcast is a way for me to vent my frustrations and today's episode is no different.  Facebook users, look no one wants your comments, no one cares about your photos, what you did today and anyone who is copy and pasting your ideas into their life needs to evaluate more than copyright infringement laws.  You know what is a capital punishment, your minute to minute updates of your life. It should be punishable by death. As far as I'm concerned, if the government wants to watch my every move, they can; but don't go crying that you have seen things you can't un-see. If I know your watching, I'll put on a show. In this episode I discuss: The Refrigerator Magnet design is flawed Facebook can have my secrets American Express has a farm on Farmville The Operator Assistance is still alive We used a rolling pin on each other and not for the reasons you think As always, please share the podcast with everyone you think would enjoy it.  I could use a little help building my ratings, so please review and rate it on Itunes. Lonald    

I'm not always in the best mood when I wake up.  It's not because I just realized, I've lived another day either because with all honesty, my life is amazing.  However, I'm tired in the morning and without my first cup of fuel for the day, I can be irritable. Throughout the day it usually gets better but when it doesn’t it most likely has something to with bad interactions with humanity.  Socially retarded moments with high functioning dinks can put me into a tailspin of anger; so the last thing I need to have is a dream in the middle of the night where I’m that guy!  What a great way to start the day off but with a dream that makes me feel shitty about myself.  I can do this on my own thank you very much. I don’t need a subconscious attack on my character at 4:00 AM in the morning. My head is a douchebag. In this episode I discuss: Bees invading our space The age old debate, “What if Barbie was a real woman?” and Cuddleuppets   Watch the video commercial to get what I'm talking about: https://www.cuddleuppets.com/ As always please share to new people in your network that would enjoy the podcast. Please also review and rate it on Itunes and comment on Facebook, Twitter, and the the website . Lonald

I joined a gym last week and I’m almost 10 days in but here is thing, when you join a fitness center and go on the road, you still need to continue the regiment.  How do you do that? Well you join another fitness center, and in my case, one that is an establishment where apparently it’s perfectly appropriate for old men to come over and invade my comfort space.  Yeah that happened. In this episode I discuss: Why it is important to follow a set of guide lines put in place to protect grown men as they work out Yes, I’m a bad speller, I get it, but F#$k you Iphone and your auto correct feature, you’re not making it any easier We have a pet dog and you know what, dogs are animals, animals do not belong in homes Facebook has a Suicide policy put in place.  Thanks FB for looking out for our well being. I don't think  I'll be making father of the year. Don't forget to share the episode with friends and enemies.  I encourage feedback, reviews and comments. Lonald

Hey bringing you another episode of From the Nook Podcast.  Today’s episode I’m sure you are going to think to yourself, either Lonnie is having a manic attack or he is jacked up on crack.  It is neither unfortunately, no I was just zipping on Excedrin.  What a great over-the-counter cure to a hangover.  Never say I don’t help you get through life. In Episode 11:  Did you know that they have Orthopedic Boots for dogs? Yes they do, proving we are losing the battle of our own humanity.  In my honest opinion Dec 21st can’t get here soon enough for some people.  Either take me or them, but do it if for no other reason than the dog. Don’t believe me, well here you go: http://www.alldogboots.com/Orthopedic-Dog-Boots-s/2.htm Johnny Cash cover bands and the old fat Elvis Impersonator have a lot in common Holding The neighborhood  hostage makes you a real winner!

After taking a week off from the podcast to do some much needed traveling to a small but loveable town, Ellensburg, WA, it was time to return to the lonely mic in my breakfast nook.  I was itching to do another episode and wanted to add a couple of new treats and that is just what I did.  I hope you enjoy them, and if you did, comment to let me know because for now on,  my podcast comments are open.  I’d love to hear your opinions on all my topics too and by all means if you want me to rant about a topic on your behalf, place the topics in the comments and I'll give you a shout out. In episode 10: A new segment for you to enjoy titled Bad Acting with Lonnie Bruhn. Did you know the Iphone Is a smart phone? It is, but its mute button is its retarded brother. An interview on the move with the Unknown Comic while heading to my gig. Do you need help getting into that shower? Next time I need to squeeze past you to get into the stall I’ll tongue you first. Don’t forget to share the podcast with everyone you love and hate, give a review and join me in the social universe of Facebook and Twitter Lonald

I’ll be real honest here and tell you that this episode became personal to me.  It is one I’ve wanted to tackle for some time.  I know you are thinking, REALLY Lonnie?  You care that much about the C-word you need to spend 45 minutes on it.  Well yes, I do think it is very important because The C doesn’t stand for what you think it does, It doesn’t even stand for Comedy. (Isn't that sad) It stand for (C)redits, and apparently you need to have one if you ever want to go anywhere in this industry.  What happened to getting somewhere because you were funny? This episode is about comedy, the industry, the many talented comedians that you never see because business isn’t about laughs per minute it’s about clubs putting a comedian on stage that theoretically puts asses in their seats.   Don’t worry; everything I say in this episode isn’t going to burn bridges because I don’t walk across those bridges anyway.  Comics like me take the back road to success, and if you are lucky enough you’ll get to see us during our trek but only if you travel the same roads we do.  In this episode: He God Blessed me Full Grown Autistic Adults are blessed   America’s Funnies Home Video shows us why the American civilization has had its 15 min of fame. Comedians on Facebook The comedy industry doesn’t want funny, however, people do. The only industry that hasn’t increased its wages with inflation. The New Orleans Comedy Arts Festival robbed real comedians of an opportunity.

Sorry fans, Episode 8 is a week late because the majority of last week I was sick.  Although sick, I did the recording while I was just coming down with the illness but it was post production I failed you all on.  The episode is a bit shorter format because of the sickness but in the end, I think 25 min is really just about right for a good length anyway. In episode 8: Water is truly a friend when you are ill. People who whistle should be punched As a young boy I used to play pretend movies like Tree Doctor Fat people who get so fat they stink like rotten death