Life on Park Street

My life is really just one long string of embarrassing moments.  Zippers down in Target, grunting at the dinner table . . . you name it, if it's stupid, I've done it.  Now I've added a new one to the list.

Every year I tell my family not to bother with Father's Day presents.  You know, because I want them to think I'm an adult.   Problem is, they always listen to me . . . and trouble follows . . . .

We took the boys' Christmas present out the other day--a pitching machine.  And I, a fool, decided to show them how it's done.

Suddenly, out of the blue it hits:  Old Age.  I don't know what happened.  A couple days ago I was young, strong, good-looking and able to sit in my chair at night without grunting involuntarily.  Yeah . . . a couple days ago, I was fine.  And now this . . . .

Every now and then, some new horrible memory moves into my brain--a memory I had blocked out for years and years.  Well, that happened just the other day...and wow!  There's a reason I've blocked these memories out....

This time we go to the archives of a little radio blurb I produce for the company I work for.  See, whenever you put yourself in front of the public, you're going to get complaints from bitter old people and angry youths.  For me, it was the old people that got on the band wagon and called a local call-in radio show to voice their disapproval over my little show.  But then I heard about it and issued this response the next day.  It's easily my favorite of all the shows I've ever run and immediately after the airing of it, the complaints quit coming....

I took a day off the other day because the kids were off from school.  And rather than sit and relax and just enjoy each other's company, I decided we should put up our Christmas tree.  You know how it went from there . . . .

Dad did it all.  He cared about us, played with us . . . had a belly button lint collection that he kept in a wicker chicken on top of our fireplace mantle . . . .  You know, the kind of things every dad does.

Ok, this has happened to everybody, right?  You get home from work.  You're tired.  And the kids have trashed everything.  Yeah, that's not a new experience.  However, how often have you started chewing your kids out only to discover that the stuff they've left lying everywhere . . . the stuff you're chewing them out about is all stuff that . . . well, you'll have to listen.

God seems to thoroughly enjoy teaching me lessons.  Easter Sunday was just the latest example. In this episode of Life on Park Street, listen as proud father, Dan Hansen, talks about an Easter Sunday meeting between his angelic children and a little missionary man during the Easter Sunday service at his church.

Not long ago, my son came home from his church youth group meeting with a bag full of father and son bonding.  It was the materials for our Pine Wood Derby Race Car.  Our first Pine Wood Derby Race Car.

I hate Halloween.  I hate all the candy.  I hate all the trick-or-treating.  I hate the costumes.  I hate the crying kids, the carving of the pumpkins and the judgment God seems to rain down on us whenever we celebrate it.  Yeah . . . I hate Halloween.

A trip to the local hardware store to pick up some necessary, toy-fixing supplies turns into a memorable event that I never saw coming.

The economic collapse last week led reasonable people everywhere to conclude, as I did, that the world was ending.  However, not many of them probably sat down and spelled that all out to their kids.  Yeah . . . that's the difference that sets me apart as one of the Elite Parents.  My honesty.  And my willingness to freak the kids out. In this episode of Life on Park Street, listen as End Times Prophecy Expert, Dan Hansen, talks about economic woes, the ultimate End of the World and about how to enjoy the lead up to Armegeddon the Good Old Fashioned Way.

Sometimes I think I'm the best father in the history of the world. And then God steps in and let's me know what He thinks.