It may seem like last week just ended, but it is time for a new one. Butter up those “new week” smiles with a healthy helping of the Mustache Rangers podcast. It’ll help Thanksgiving go down easier.
The Mustache Rangers are joined this week by Dr. Jeremy Carter, PhD and Dr. Matt Gourley, PyT of the Superego podcast. If you don’t go to GoSuperego.com and listen to their excellent work, you’re more than a fool. You’re a dirty fool. A fool who has, somehow, become dirty. How did you become so dirty, [...]
Human contact can be overrated and underrated. Sure, hugging is great. But punches aren’t. And those are almost the same thing. It is okay to be confused by this. You might want to read a book on the topic.
The Mustache Rangers hold hands in this week’s episode. Enjoy it alone.
Imagine the Mustache Rangers are using their socks as puppets while recording this week’s podcast episode, because that is how it happened. It is not an excuse, because there is nothing needing an excuse. It’s just a little treat for your brain. Enjoy.
Most ulcers are caused by other people. Unless you live in a shack in the woods. Then your ulcer is caused by wind and wolves. You should have that looked at.
The Mustache Rangers deal with society in this week’s podcast episode. Share your friends with it.
Everyone is stupid sometimes and can’t make a decision on their own. They need someone to help. Someone to share the blame if things don’t go according to plan. Newspaper columnists have had a pretty good monopoly on this market for some time. But it is not time for the podcast market to take over.
The [...]
People would like to tell you that soap can refresh you, but they are wrong. Do not pay them any attention. You should be washing yourselves in sugary drinks. Your skin will thank you.
This week, the Mustache Rangers instruct you on the art of refreshment. Listen to the podcast with both ears at the same [...]
The American has always loved sports, be it shooting Redcoats or hoops. And what happens when the American runs out of sports? The crafty American makes new sports. Arena football is truly American as apple pie, which actually is not American in the least. What we are trying to say is, there are a lot [...]
Space can get lonely, even if you have a traveling companion floating along next to you. Don’t be afraid to discuss your loneliness with companion, as a long and boring discussion about your needs will surely shoo away any loneliness you might be feeling. In fact, after your companion’s short and spurned responses, you may [...]
It is not uncommon for someone to grow bored with their surroundings. If they are not terribly meek, then they may explore things beyond their comfort zone. And this is how people came to eat tabouli.
The Mustache Rangers get a bit outside of their comfort zone in this week’s podcast adventure. Listen to it with [...]
It is a long held belief that model rockets are cool. The fact is, they are not cool in the slightest. No matter how “rad” or “sweet” the decals stuck on the rocket are. The rocket will, in the very best situation, go up and then go down. So unless you’re building a rocket that [...]
As you know by now, the Mustache Rangers stopped by the CONvergence Sci-Fi and Fantasy convention to bring stories of their conquests to the little people. In this week’s podcast episode, they take questions directly from the audience. Will these questions make for interesting listening? Only listening will tell!
The easiest way is rarely the most fulfilling way to do something. But it is the easiest way to do things. The eternal struggle between laziness and enjoyment is eternal for a reason. Because people are too lazy to solve the issue.
The Mustache Rangers deal with problems in this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy it, if [...]
The on line can be a place of confusion. Anyone can say anything, if they have purchased a government licensed SAnything Pass. And, really, who has the money to pay to say anything? The SSomething Intelligent Pass is much cheaper, but also labels you as a smarty pants. No one will date the SSomething’ers.
This week’s [...]
The Mustache Rangers performed live for the riveted crowd at this year’s CONvergence. And now, you can be riveted too. Enjoy the longest Mustache Rangers podcast yet.
Is there anything more annoying than having to go over the same ground you have already gone over? Yes, there is. But back tracking is definitely pretty annoying. Just because it isn’t the most annoying thing ever doesn’t mean it is a delight to you and others. So go ahead. Complain about it as much [...]
When you are asked to view a police line up, always make to finger the wrong perp. If the person who wronged you is sent to prison, there is no way to leave flaming bags on their doorsteps or send them mysterious letters with pictures of their house inside. Jail is no fun for anybody.
The [...]
If something makes you hungrier than the pursuit of justice, then you need to check the order of your “pursuit list.” If you have it in some sort of computerized spreadsheet, it should be fairly easy to edit.
The Mustache Rangers deal with the ordeal that is shaving in this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy and learn, [...]
Time is a big bully who steals everything. There isn’t one thing you can name that he or she will not take for itself. After you make peace with that, he or she is really cool to hang out with and can tell you some wild stories.
The Mustache Rangers have not made peace with time [...]
There are a lot of smells in the world. And if you combine two smells, you get a new smell. So it would be very practical of you to say there are an infinite number of smells in the world. Because who wants to count that high?
The Mustache Rangers deal with a few smells in [...]
The Mustache Rangers are joined by another special guest this week. Who may that guest be? Or is it “whom?” Whatever the word, the guest doesn’t change.
Kevin Murphy, of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame, joins the Mustache Rangers this week on another absurd and introspective journey. You can find Kevin Murphy’s most recent work at [...]
It is a little known fact that everybody burps. If you have never heard someone burp, chances are they actually disguised it as talking. Listen closely the next time you have a conversation with this non-burper, and call them out loudly if you suspect one of their words is fulled by a burp. That will [...]
The spine is a mystery. It isn’t, really. But it can certainly be a sticky wicket at times. It is inside the body, which is the first problem. Fixing the spine isn’t like getting an eyelash out of your eye. There are few advantages to having an exoskeleton, but easy spine fixing seems like one [...]
It’s that time of the week again. Time for another guest on the Mustache Rangers podcast. This week, solo musician and member of the The Glad Version, Adam Svec lends his leading vocals to the Mustache Rangers. What will our boys do with his golden cords? You’ll have to listen and find out.
And make sure [...]
Many people look back on their childhood with tinted memories. The truth is, you were probably a really stupid child. Most people are, except for the freakishly smart ones. And they have to deal with the fact that they were always being judged by you, the stupid children. To sum things up, childhood is a [...]
It is a special day for the Mustache Rangers podcast, because we have the first of many special guests contributing their golden vocal chords for our use. And we are not stealing their vocal chords like in the Little Mermaid. We do not have the technology. Yet.
The first very special guest is Cayenne Chris Conroy [...]
Sowing and sewing can be confusing to school children. This is odd, considering that they are doing both almost constantly. The only solution is flashcards. Remember to look up the definitions in the dictionary before you make the flashcards for them, so that you are not passing on incorrect information.
The Mustache Rangers have another podcast [...]
It is difficult to judge anything or anyone without being hypocritical. It is best to say “now I know I’m no saint” before passing judgment, before people can accuse you of not being a saint. You are taking away their power.
The Mustache Rangers cover many topics in this week’s podcast. Enjoy it with our full [...]
There is a secret to being quiet. It’s called shutting your yapper. Also, you might want to turn off Twitter.
This week’s episode of the Mustache Rangers gives you no tips on anything. Enjoy that.
Sound FX attributes:
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shower.wav (http://www.freesound.org/samplesViewSingle.php?id=71416)
It is spring time in space, and that means allergy time. Not many people know the nebula are actually black hole sneezes. Space pollen is a hell of a thing.
The Mustache Rangers smile in this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy it and share it with friends.
Training is important. But more important than training is instinct. In your next job interview, inform the interviewer that you, the interviewee, have the instinct needed for the job. If they start to question your statement, either run away or fight them. You will not get the job if you run away.
This week’s episode of [...]
Who decides if something is a metaphor? English teachers. If it were not for them, you wouldn’t need to know how to pretend to see something in nothing.
Does this week’s episode of the Mustache Rangers contain a metaphor? You had better ask Mr. Philips. You know, your high school English teacher. Enjoy!
After 100 perfect and unarguably consistent episodes, it is time for the Mustache Rangers to let loose and party! Join them for this week’s 101st perfect podcast. And do not forget the items you need to make a party grand. Like frilly toothpicks and conversation.
It is finally here! Over two years of podcast production have brought us to episode 100 of the Mustache Rangers.
This is a special double length episode that was recorded live at the Mix Tape Comedy show held at the ComedySportz theater in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Be prepared, because you will not be laughing alone. It will be [...]
Many things are in the eye of the beholder. Like that eyelash that is turning the eye slowly red and swollen. And that guy has the nerve to comment critically about your hair cut? Maybe he should get that stupid eyelash out of his eye. What a big jerk.
The Mustache Rangers take on the critics [...]
The general population tends to forget that humans are animals. The general population also tends to complain about climbing stairs. It is with these two facts that we assume the general population is dim. We are sorry, but it is proven.
The Mustache Rangers see life in this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy it by yourself.
Pugilism is a hobby you must consider the hidden costs of before partaking in. For example, those bandages are not free gifts. And water sponges to not buy themselves. You have been warned.
The Mustache Rangers present another podcast to you this week. It has been brought on to you.
To make an omelet, you have to break some eggs. This phrase only helps those who are concerned with the maintenance of shells. At least, that is the only conclusion we can come up with. Why else would someone be concerned about the breaking of eggs? Aside from chickens, but they aren’t eating any omelets [...]
The Mustache Rangers are fast approaching their 100th podcast episode, which will be recorded in front of a live audience this Friday. If you would like to connect rings of colored construction paper together to count down that days until episode 100, that would be an okay way to celebrate.
Other ways you can celebrate are [...]
The Mustache Rangers will be recording episode 100 of their podcast in front of a live audience! This very special event will take place on February 27th, 2009 at the Mix Tape Comedy show being held at the Minneapolis ComedySportz! You should absolutely come down and be part of the experience!
What: Mix Tape Comedy
Where: Comedy [...]
It has come to our attention that there is little attention paid to the written word. The ears are the doors to the future of information gathering. Make sure to swab daily.
The Mustache Rangers argue in this week’s podcast episode. Enjoy it today.
The Mustache Ranges grow tired of your need for the written word. Does a piece of audio really need to be accompanied by unrelated words?
In this week’s free comedy podcast, the Mustache Rangers talk about an assortments of things. Enjoy.
We know your kind. You are the kind of person who owns a mirror they purchased at a garage sale. Not only that, you have yet to take the price tag off the four year old purchase. Why do you continue holding true to an item that screams your laziness to anyone willing to listen?
In [...]
Success is nice to see, on occasion. It would be nice to see Tom catch Jerry it some point. And Heckle and Jeckle would have been thrilled to get some corn. Sometimes, seeing people or animated things happy hits your heart just right.
In today’s podcast adventure, the Mustache Rangers find moderate success. Hopefully, it will [...]
It has come to our attention, via our own observation, that this area provides little to no information about the podcast episode for which it is attached. Let us see if that can not be remedied.
This week’s episode is a free comedy podcast. Please note that “comedy” is not in quotes. Except for that one. [...]
We hope that your Terrance Day went well, and that you have purchased the correct amount of calendars for the coming year. We also hope you dream of things that aren’t monsters, because those things are scary and are a bad omen for the coming year. Science has proved it.
The Mustache Rangers smell things in [...]
The Mustache Rangers are back in action, with the help of their helpful fans. That means it is time for a new episode, just in time for the holiday season! It’s like a present! A free present that always has been free and is free again!
Donations reached to 75% of the goal, so there is [...]
Let us lay it on the line. The Mustache Rangers are loved by all. As long as we can agree to that, we will be fine. All other conversation is simply warm sound, after that argument has been put to rest.
The Mustache Rangers argue about clothing once again in this week’s episode. Bring it to [...]
It is Monday. You know the routine. Read these words, that have nothing to do with this week’s podcast, and then listen to the podcast. Or don’t read these words at all. It matters not.
Some things are difficult to believe. For example, jelly is made not of fruit but of tree bark. Training wheels only line the pockets of training wheel producing companies. Night time is when the sun does it with the moon.
It is not difficult to believe that the Mustache Rangers have another podcast episode for you [...]
Good times are not meant to be had. They are to be taken. You can not simply wait for them to happen, or expect that you deserve them. Real men make their own good times. Women probably do this too, but we have not funded any research to prove positive one way or the other.
The [...]
The Mustache Rangers were on one of their many missions last week. Sometimes, duty gets in the way of updating podcasts. But rest assured, the podcast was not late due to hate. There was not hate involved in any way.
The Mustache Rangers love you. They also wish you wouldn’t do that one bad thing you [...]
Every single moment has the possibility of greatness. Instead of sitting there, doing nothing, you could punch the fella next to you. Odds are, they are asking for it. But be quick. Odds also show that he is a fan of the Mustache Rangers and is reading the exact same sentence. You had best hope [...]
Death is never an easy topic of conversation. Unless it is in referring to a squirrel. “Did that squirrel just die,” Benefred Pasterborf would ask. “It certainly did,” Tranzer Fadingtoncon would reply. “Fan-tastic,” Geraldert Fosterpant would add. Do you see? Only talk about the deaths of squirrels and your conversation will be as crisp [...]
Rock formations are boring. They are only slightly interesting if they look like something that is not a rock. But still, it’s just a rock that looks like something. Why not look at that thing? Also, if seahorses don’t freak you out, they should. Those things are profoundly messed up.
The Mustache Rangers deal with a [...]
There is little in life more important than a favorite outfit. Scraps of colored cloth can make you feel invincible against the daily tragedy that is life. That statement also leaves out the immeasurable feeling brought upon by a perfect fit. Like everything in the known universe, it all boils down to hugging.
The Mustache Rangers [...]
Sometimes the simplest answer is not always the best. For example, if a friend of yours owns something that you would like and you think they don’t deserve, don’t blow it up. That would be the easy thing to do. The proper solution, in this circumstance, is theft. It is not the first place your [...]
The market can be a very confusing place. People are yelling. Monies are exchanging hands. Sometimes there are open mouth kisses. It is a sea limbs, one can get lost. It is good to be tethered and blindfolded when going into a market. In fact, this is a good idea for any situation.
The Mustache Rangers [...]
The dust has settled, and the Mustache Rangers are back. Rest assured, adventures were being had during the entire absence. There were some incredible happenings. It is a shame you missed them. But, please, do enjoy the most recent episode.
The world is a terrible place and we are all cursed. If you found yourself nodding to the previous sentence, you have failed the test. You can take it over as many times as you would like. We understand that things get heavy.
The Mustache Rangers throw a lot of ideas against the wall in today’s [...]
The only thing quieter than a rock sitting all by itself is mime pretending to be a rock sitting all by itself. And we’re talking about a professional mime here. Not your weekend birthday party mime. Another note, as long as we’re talking here. Children do not like mimes.
The Mustache Rangers deal with a little [...]
Every once in a blue moon (when the Lords of America decide to paint the moon, generally once ever decade), you get a really good hamburger. And it kind of makes you wonder why you’ve been eating vegetables at all. But then, the next hamburger you get is just “okay” again. At least you’ll have [...]
If space were not nothing, it would be totally in your face. It would, for example, be all, like, what is up? It would be quite overwhelming, if it weren’t such a massive amount of emptiness. Given any mass, it would be the person you avoid at most well planned parties.
The Mustache Rangers have another [...]
After achieving everything they wanted to do on Earth at the Twin Cities Improv Festival, the Mustache Rangers have once again left fertile ground for the thankless embrace of space. There is no applause in space. There isn’t really anything in space.
The Mustache Rangers bring you an new podcast adventure today, full of action and [...]
Get your giggling out of your lungs, because the sixty-ninth episode of the Mustache Rangers is here for our mutual pleasure. If you enjoy the running of marathons, or hate them, or feel no way whatsoever about them, you will enjoy this week’s episode. If you have no feelings at all, then we ask that [...]
As mentioned in the podcast for today, the Mustache Rangers would like your help to spread their words. Today, you can do three things. Tell 5 people about the Mustache Rangers. Digg the Mustache Rangers. Leave positive feedback for the Mustache Rangers on iTunes.
It’s that easy. Do all or one of them, but don’t you [...]
There is a fine line between a point and a line. Now you know geometry. Congratulations.
The Mustache Rangers have their many hands full into this week’s interpod netcast podcast. Enjoy with your favorite beverage.
The people of Earth take the changing of days for granted. They give little to no time considering how the other half live. The space half. Flying from galaxy to galaxy with useless sundials. It was a bad investment.
The Mustache Rangers miss their months in the current interpod netcast episode. We hope that you feel [...]
Danger seems to be the middle name of many a person. The people who claim this tend to spend most of their free time staring at a screen with moving or static pictures. The middle name is wasted on them.
The Mustache Rangers encounter danger in today’s interpod netcast internet podcast. Enjoy the danger.
One thing is always relative to another, unless you are referring to Uncle Stan. Uncle Stan is not really your uncle, nor is he made up of matter like you or I. Remember that the next time he tries to count your ribs.
The Mustache Rangers explore the things brought by time in today’s podcast episode. [...]
If you have never heard of an iceberg before, let us explain it for you. It is a smallish sort of town made completely of ice. Commerce flows normally, just slower.
The Mustache Rangers deal slightly with ice in today’s podcast episode. Put it into your brain. Now.
Nicknames are for the strong and the weak alike. However, nicknames serve different purposes for these two groups. Just keep this truth in mind. The strong hand out all nicknames, and the strong hate the weak. Hopefully, this information will help you out of some jam in the near future.
Today, the Mustache Rangers receive nicknames. [...]
After a week of trying to put a squarish toy square into a roundish toy circle hole, the adventures of the Mustache Rangers are back. In a rare continuation, they continue to continue their storyline from the previous episode. Enjoy it.
There is cult on a distant planet that does not believe in tiptoeing. That may not be a harsh enough way to describe their belief. It is not as if they think tiptoeing exists but they have no faith in it. They actually believe there is no tiptoeing. They throw some fantastic shindigs.
Be careful of [...]
We live in a complicated and ever changing world. Galaxies, on the other hand, are constant and never change. You may think they collide and rip each other to pieces, but that thinking would be deadly incorrect. You can always count on the constant of the never changing galaxy.
The Mustache Rangers check their heads in [...]
There are an amazing variety of terrible moving pictures produced in our modern times. Sometimes it would be easier to close your eyes and let the all consuming darkness take you away. But some of these moving pictures involve the humors antics of animals. These are the pictures worth living for.
The Mustache Rangers discuss art [...]
The Mustache Rangers have found away into the heart of a small boy. This small boy had no say in the matter. In fact, the small boy doesn’t even exist. He is simply a boy who now lives only in your mind. Please, do not kill this young boy by forgetting him.
A new episode of [...]
Our books of ancient history describe a moving picture presentation by the name of Mr. Destiny. Copies of this presentation on entertainment disc no longer exist. We, the people of the present, can still enjoy the stories of Mr. Destiny, but they are passed on by word of mouth. Sometimes the words to the tale [...]
The great beyond may not be all that great. Or, now that we’ve had a chance to think it over, all that beyond. Thank goodness there are those out there who will pretend to communicate with your loved ones for monies. They are truly beyond great.
The Mustache Rangers take death, for instance, in this week’s [...]
Thinking leads to trouble, and no good comes of it. When you think you might be having a thought, simply turn to one of the government’s many regulation entertainment programs. For instance, there is the House of Apples located in every town where you can practice eating apples. Since apples do not exist, you will [...]
It is the charge of every Earth-liver to consume. Food, plastics, and oxygen are ripe for the literal and non-literal digestion. Shoes, however, are a different sort of beast. Neither plastic nor oxygen, they sit and wait in a bin of blank description. The greatest scientist in the time of our great-great-grandchildren may finally discover [...]
It has come to our attention that the span of attention that most people can hold is less than ten seconds. Luckily for these individuals, the Short Attention Span Termination Squad also had a short attention span. Sadly, they are unable to even terminate themselves. It is was a terrible program, and we are sorry [...]
Another Monday has arrived. Do not expect a fanfare for a Monday. It is comparable to another Meredith or Beatrice arriving at your party. The come along with regularity, and generally bring stories of shopping at craft stores. Yes, a Monday is not a special thing in the least.
Enjoy today’s interpod netcast of the Mustache [...]
The Mustache Rangers have reached the arbitrary 50 episode mark! What better way to celebrate than with your families? You should head home right now and take care of the celebration. This is a mandatory celebration. All persons of non-celebration will be stripped of their VIP status, and downgraded to IP. And then P. And [...]
The Mustache Rangers have left Earth again, for the good of the Earth. As you’re sure to know, only 100 people are allowed on the Earth at a time. If 101 people were allowed on to the Earth, everything would be thrown out of balance. Emily and Winston Grack will be happy to come home [...]
It may physically harm you to realize this, but the Earth is not flat. It’s okay, relax. We have given you a informational punch to the stomach. The Earth is actually shaped more like a ribbon. The Great Mustache help us all if the giant space cat awakens from its million and two year slumber.
Today, [...]
A deep that has begun in space. Things are warming up nicely, and the wildlife has come out to greet explorers of all kinds. Don’t be a stranger to the wildlife. It tastes great.
The Mustache Rangers are taking a break from moving merchandising, and getting back to the business of exploring. And if not exploring, [...]
Desperate times call for not so desperate measures. Today’s hilarious interpod netcast is trying to part you with your hard earned monies. But the benefits are great.
The specific benefits are a discounted price on a Doc Johnson’s Olde Tyme Elixir t-shirt. These t-shirts are available for PRE-ORDER for this special price. But once the shirts [...]
If you extend a season’s greetings to somebody in the middle of summer, you will be pummeled for being odd and out of place. This generic term is to be used in the middle of winter, and that is it. Don’t forget that, or else you may get pummeled for the reasons that have already [...]
There is a craft to almost anything, aside from crafts. Crafts, as items, have very little, if any, craft work done to them. Putting eyes onto this without eyes may be hilarious, but it is not a talent.
The Mustache Rangers relate to their public today.
While not necessarily inevitable, the Doc Johnson’s Olde Tyme Elixir t-shirt is as much a reality as diapers that can be pulled upwards are.
Doc Johnson was feeling generous, for once, and is allowing his t-shirt to be PRE-ORDERED at a discount. Be aware that the t-shirt has unsubstantiated healing abilities, just like Doc Johnson’s famous [...]
In these modern times, where the power of steam can be used to power your page turning machine, some people still believe in the power of people. This belief is misplaced. Machines powered by water vapor will rule us all, and it is only a matter of time before you brain is turned into steam [...]
Music is an enormous part of life. Unless you a deaf. And even then, you can hold a balloon with the bass turned up really loudly. So if music is such a big part of life, it must be a big part of not life too. River and tornadoes and frogs must all love music [...]
It has come to our attention that space is mostly empty. This is confusing, as there is all sorts of junk here. Planets and animals and the like. Plants are not allowed in space. This is cosmic law.
The Mustache Rangers from a club in today’s interpod netcast. You should join. In.
Children should regularly put ropes into their mouths!
Also, you should see the Mustache Rangers live on November 18th at Improv a Go-Go. The cost to you is only 1(one) dollar! Can you imagine the savings?
Do you ever itch really bad? Did you wish there was a solution? Well, now there is. Listen to the information in today’s audio to learn how you can fight back!
Also, you should see the Mustache Rangers live on November 18th at Improv a Go-Go. The cost to you is only 1(one) dollar! Can you [...]
You must take the good with the bad. This is a fact. No matter how much bad you take, you will be forced to take good. Due to this fact, there is always a little good in everybody. Except for aliens. These rules to not apply to them. Therefor, it is a-okay to dispatch them [...]
Like all good children, you should learn the dangerous of insects and how to deal with them. Also, like all good children, you should see the Mustache Rangers live on November 18th at Improv a Go-Go. The cost to you is only 1(one) dollar! Can you imagine the savings?
In this part of town, meaning in this part of the universe, the word “hero” is tossed around like a three speed bike in bull ring full of apes. How did the apes get into a bull ring and why do they have an insatiable anger toward bikes of three speeds? That is a different [...]
