The boys attempt to sing the intro to the show ..listen and find real enjoyment.

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The Lads are in a good mood which is a welcome change,are you a Fish or maybe a cash machine? email us

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An odd start to this podcast a little bit of skipping and jumping but stay with it, We discuss Simon's good looks and how he might improve them by wrapping his head and penis with tinsel.

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Musicals.... good or bad?you tell us Could you produce the urban sofa, If so the boys need you and do you agree that Simon looks like a twiglet on fire ? I think he does ! Matt sounds like his on some kind of tripping drug...his not just sounds like it.

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Evening all........in harmony for a small percentage of the show. Matt does his best to take control of the show with almost no effect at all. Is Talbot a fish man - I think he may well be

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I'm calling this episode 'The spying Scotsman' ...och eye The boys sound in a playful mood. Once more some important information right at the very start of the show Take part in the show by e-mailing us

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This week we find out that Matt's time traveling fantasy is to enter into a business relationship with Henry Ford, Plus the boys are keen to play a game of Monopoly, well one of them is.

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Did the train companies ever really run the country and control time, Or perhaps it was the owners of barber shops across the nation that held that honor Find out in this weeks show..

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It's a little late but its the Christmas special..it contains ducks,a phone call and of course Simon and Matt or is it Matt and Simon. What more could you want!

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Simon announces his television presenting dream, and the boys talk about having power naps its another feature packed show...

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Could this be the night! We analyze Crowded House tracks and then we try to discover what the urban sofa tastes of. All this and a shoe full of man fluid, in what we call Podcast 205

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The all request special .... Big news right at the start..its worth hanging around until the end just for Simon 'being' the slick DJ, Are you upper class? your sex life must be dull Movies,Shaving and the card game called 'Pit' all this on this weeks show

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Throwing the note book out the window, The boys briefly talk Rugby,Darts and F1. Which is odd for a non-sports show, and watch out 'The Talbot's' are about ready to strip any house bare of all belongings , and if there's a car in the drive it'll be gone in the blink of a eye.

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Communication Special. Are you a Spaniard or maybe a geek, if so you'll love this one! Cutting edge chat this week with postal strikes the topic of debate and dressing up as Iron man , if that isn't enough patio heaters are added to the mix

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Testing Testing .. Still sounding like an old AM radio broadcast, Which I for one kind of like! Yog- fruit , A new sex berry or just a biscuit? Are you British, well listen and find out . Its all thanks to a audio collector that we are getting to hear the classic Urban Sofa shows from last year, all where believed lost..

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The boys are back, Why do only the good looking die young, Skywatching, Snack pies and climbing a large hill in Suffolk ...What more could you want after a little break from your podcast heroes The audio quality of the first few new podcasts will be low but it will get better!!

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We call this one - Head in a bucket. A little bit of history with this podcast as the boys do the last Internet only show.

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Simon plans a journey to another world but he won't be using a World war II plane to get there.Matt well his still just Matt. All in all a more relaxed show than normal.

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Are you feeling tired depressed or maybe horny ? This is the show for you ! Simon is back from Spain after urinating in the Mediterranean and Matt is just Matt.

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Matt never hangs around social gatherings in case the hosts want to intimately touch themselves and Simon thinks Transformers The Movie is a true story. Will they ever command respect? Listen and win.

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They?re back and they?re exactly the same as before. Simon is 40 now, a shadow of the man he once was and Matt is consumed with a burning need for justice that threatens to engulf them both in a firestorm of hate. They also debate the virtues of dogs trained to stop people masturbating. Same old same old.

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April, the perfect time for the Urban Sofa Valentines Day Special. Love is in the air, if, like Matt you enjoy inhaling your own underpants or if like Simon you?re a fan of George Lazenby 007.

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A rare sighting of the urban sofa as Simon sits in Tramps urine and Matt makes the staff of a gentleman?s outfitters feel uneasy. Fat comedian in death chicken scandal and the sky?s the limit as they share their dream of running a house of burlesque.

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They?re back, sort of. As matt attempts to ski across Norway Simon is joined by friend and troubadour Shane Kirk in a roller coaster ride of conversation that takes them from The Devil in Speedos through Super Weaving to the link between folk music and myopia and beyond.

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January 2007, the perfect time for our Xmas special. Simon, Matt and Neale gorge themselves on a festive buffet LIVE and discuss what you do when a soap star drives through your dads shop window, why covering your face with a large plaster is a bad idea and how to cope when your ex girlfriend starts dating a man that dresses like Peter Davidson as Dr Who.

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There's a murderer on the streets of ye oldie streets of Ipswich can the lovable duo solve the crimes?well no, but we learn a lot about there love of socks and people named Dave.

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Its party time at the Tex Mex bar as Simon gets his head stuck in a bucket and Matt extols the virtues of intimate shaving. The two amigos become furious discussing computerized toothbrushes but when Matt reveals that he once built a combine harvester, the tears flow like summer rain.

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its a cracker..but of the prawn variety as Simon stuffs his face with Chinese food and Matt discovers the pornagraphic subtext of roadsigns, Loose Soil Ahead!

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Guest Presenter Neale is back for another stab at presenting the urban sofa, but this time with Matt as Mr Talbot has chosen the wet season to visit Spain. God calls in with a good idea for wheelie bin protection and Neale wants some liquid sex but only if its not too messy. Puffball mushroom omelette's anyone?

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This weeks edition sees Simon's hand taking on a life of its own, the show is split into two camps when the issue of man being symmetrical rears its perfectly equal head and Matt wants to get it on with a robot woman. If its kinky it must be podcast 52, can you hear the umper lumper's ?

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Simon?s almost on time, but Matt's too busy playing with himself to notice. Emma calls the boys to quash any rumours a of sex chat line being set up from the Talbot household, all this and added distortion in this weeks Urban Sofa Podcast

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The boys celebrate show 50 in style. Simon arrives by car, enraging much of the shows bus loving audience, Matt sobs openly when discussing naked photos of his mum and Neale talks allotments. 200,000 years from now all trace of human life will have gone?are you surprised?

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A host of listeners take part in an interactive spectacular. What does Simon do on a bus? What household items does Matt keep in his underpants? Who is The Convincer? If you think the sound of two grown men enjoying themselves is morally repellent you may find this episode challenging.

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Lost in a world of thespian musing Simon is late so Matt tales the helm. Massage fanatic Neale promptly phones in and proceeds to make libellous comments about bus conductors. When Simon finally arrives all hell breaks loose. If you want to be a proctologist don't let anything stand in your way.

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This is the one Simon offers to throw himself into a punnet of Tibetan sex berries, Matt's dad buys the wrong shirt with hilarious results, paranoid and unhappy Neale phones in with yet another beef and a gentle female voice softens the collective's harsh manly edges. Its a practical joke, we all in on it and we're laughing at you.

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Fifty minutes of joy. Matt travels Europe devouring horses and Simon gets a massage from a man who turns up on his doorstep. A listener phones in to discuss full fat Kelp and the earning power of a confident smile and behold the best idea for a TV show in the history of entertainment as we Introduce A Chicken..

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Simon visits Matt's house for the first time, then puts on Lycra to go cycling. Matt wonders if local prostitutes would accept a song as means of payment and the two history buffs contemplate an episode of Time Team where the bloke with the beard will be buried alive in 48 hours unless Tony Robinson can find an Iron Age Shoe.

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It's the hottest day ever and Matt reveals his love for promiscuous 80 year olds. Simon recoils and considers farming the land whilst listening to power ballads.Free your minds as Britain's most provocative hosts discuss small fridges , challenging

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Skin disease special as guest presenter Neale treats his impetigo live on air. The duo discuss whether people in medieval times were a bit thick and celebrate Matts birthday using song, much to his obvious joy.Want to find out if you're turning into your dad? You will be disturbed by Neale's give away signs.

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Never take a glove puppet on holiday. Simon buys an electric corkscrew, combining alcoholism with 21st century cool. Matt suggests more sport should be played on ice and the two intellectuals debate the age old question,does the amount I ejaculate reflect my identity as a man?

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Can you spot the mystery ducks? Simon goes to Devon in a pair of revealing trunks; Matt invites violence by incessantly fiddling with his new car stereo and vocally defending his right to brick up people he does not like in a secret room. Why these two aren't running the country is, quite frankly beyond me.

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Ding Dong. Simon recoils in blind terror when he finds a dead mouse on his doorstep and frugal Matt refuses to buy an ipod, listening instead to his doorbell chimes. The playful pair also revel in the paranoia created by suggesting that cashpoints spread disease, the scamps.

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The infamous lost episode. Simon falls off a treadmill at the gym as matt climbs atop a pantomime horse to display his latest fetish. Staring at vapour trails the lads bemoan the crowded skies and discuss the power of fruit. Welcome to a summer of sport.

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Matt develops a God complex when his fetid car creates its own eco system. Simon wrestles with the moral dilemma of hunting obese children for sport and its Gallic embraces all round when the duo discover they both have a French connection. Zut Alors

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Simon and guest presenter Neale bond over silent comedian Harold Lloyd's multi fingered hands, sexual awakening whilst reading about crabs and inevitably death by golf. A scary mask however almost leads to heartbreak.Lost and alone chilled to the bone silver lady

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Sitting in a car park eating melon segments Matt encourages his erstwhile partner to give it all up and open a bicycle shop. Simon buys karate from a door to door salesman and both wonder why all vets are Swedish.It not the winning that?s important it?s the taking part.

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Matt finds himself romantically linked to household pets; Simon discovers he is descended from a dynasty of greengrocers and the two amigos compare hands to find out who is middle class.Having a crush is not a euphemism, beware the Man-pig.

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Stool examination the final taboo. How taking too many sweeteners can turn you into a woman and radio ventriloquism featuring an octopus called Oleander. All this and more in a classic episode, just as Nostradamus predicted over 500 years ago.

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Newly married Matt finds he has become irresistible as Simon wonders why he keeps getting sent underwear catalogues for larger ladies. Possibly unwisely, the boys loudly reveal that they can't stand advertising and often make charity collectors feel uncomfortable. When will these fools learn? Let them know you're real collective@theurbansofa.co.uk

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Simon nearly chokes, as he congratulates matt over the shows new intro. Matt foolishly reveals the bleak wasteland of his romantic life; days before getting married and both agree that metal detecting could someday change the world. Steady on girls they're spoken for.

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Never wear a llama suit and walk around a safari park. Matt's stag night leaves a trail of weeping schoolteachers in its wake. A terrified Simon bans his son from enjoying feathers, a furious Neale phones in and the collective travel back in time to Hamburg 1969. Quite extraordinary.

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Matthew falls in love with a garden incinerator as Simon screams defiance at a judgemental gasman. Alone in a naked theme park or searching for people encased in concrete these boys know how to partay.

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Accused of being a pompous intellectual, Simon and his son enjoy a day trip to a carpet warehouse. Matt hears ghostly sobbing and is nearly arrested trying to get his car valeted. Those loveable bozos.

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Can you smell gas? Matt is wrapped in asbestos dreaming of baldy porno and the coming ice age. Simon and special guest Neil wrestle with the concept of good and evil, then lampoon boffins until the wee small hours.

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Simon risks anaphylactic shock wearing a 3 kg beard of bees and Matthew verbally abuses a man-child for not liking the summer time. Guests Michaela and Jazzy Geoff cant wait to join the party.

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Is this art? Simon takes on some buglers armed only with a child's toy while Matt dreams lustily of the fun he would have with a furry lobster. If only they could be immortal, like the boy king Tutankhamun.

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The one where it all came together, live callers discuss Matt's kung fu fantasy's and kites from outer space while Simon responds angrily to email suggestions that he wants to sport a 72 hour erection. If you're wacky and you know it, clap your hands

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This is the modern world Simon takes buffet food from the mouths of jobseekers while Matt is offered class A sunglasses on the streets of Lisbon. Tribute I'll give em tribute.

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He did what? Simon falls to his knees and begs for forgiveness as he lets slip his moment of shame and Matt rejects charity cycling in favour of being a relaxed dictator. This is Fundio.

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Welcome to Pleasureville. Matt's new Peeping Tom neighbour cops an eyeful as Simons mother runs in terror from waxwork sailors. The boys also take time to thank some of their listeners, is your name on the list?

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The urban sofa . can you hear them in the woods ? or for that matter in your secret base under your island. This week the boys are all of a quiver, Join them and have fun

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The Urban Sofa Immerse themselves in 2006 as Matts plans for an attic-brothel find little support from his girlfriend and Simon unwisely promises his son a team of super powered monkeys. Sweet Lord its starting all over again

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Just in time for the festive season, yes its the Halloween Special, haunted shoes and juggling barmen leave the collective incandescent with rage. Happy holidays

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Simons bowels become irritable as he stands stark naked in front of some raffia blinds, Mathew shares his pain as he revels how he once hunted men for sport. One of them is presenting over the phone can you guess which

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Dwarfgate shatters the urban sofas cosy little world as pedantic Simon catches falling leaves in the park. Matt smothers himself in soothing ointment while adopting a unique broadcasting stance. Challenging

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Matthews parents return from a ten second holiday as he relives the horror of being persecuted by a childrens entertainer. Simon demands a pay rise of love and his own Elizabethan while fireworks make his bedtime unbearable. Behind you

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Is Matthew a carrier for avian flu find out this and why Simon gambles all his money away at the dog track in this weeks edition of the urban sofa

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Simon is drinking deep from the pewter mug of under achievement whilst Matthew reveals that he keeps his most treasured things in a dustbin bag. Its a barrel o laughs in Ipswich

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Broadcasting history is made as The Urban Sofa preview their new jingles. Matthew contemplates living his whole life on a bicycle while Simon emits a low guttural moan of confusion. Intense

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Matt makes an announcement that leaves Simon reeling as the urban sofa fight to halt the signs of premature aging

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Squidalicious - Mathews back from Germany, Simon puts his foot in it and the two pals nearly come to blows in a white-hot debate about school dinners. They try so hard - when will they be loved

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