See you soon, kids!

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Just listen to the file, kids...all will be made clear. Happy Holidays!

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Fucking Comcast. I have had nothing but trouble with my connection this week. I can't do anything that involved uploading or downloading beyond a meg or two, and large portions of the day I can't get *anywhere* online. I'll post the new show as soon as I can get all the effects I need and upload the fucker. In the meantime, here's a wee preview.

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Not your usual show...for the holiday, I am laying off the regular format. This is a rambling mess recorded on the iRiver when I was high off my ass on Ambien. I apologize if I said nasty things about you. Although...In Ambias Veritas, perhaps... Topics include: strap-on love, hairbrushes in the ass, ice cream, bloggers are like high schoolers in a lunch room, why I wouldn't suck a candy-coated dick and whatever the hell else I said. Also, some voice mails. Tom and I say "Viva la Raza" to Eddie Guerrero, Noble's revenge, Tomer seranades Jerusalem, Chris reminds me I've been kicked out of iTunes. Happy Turkey Day, peoples. Don't stick your dick in the turkey, boys. No one likes that kind of gravy on the stuffing.

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Show Number 25...I have purged it from my soul like dank feces from the bowels of the Dark Lord himself. Satanshit. What I'm saying is the show is Satanshit. Enjoy! TOPICS - Offended much? Fuck off. - I love MacResQ.com. Jason rocks. - Celebrity Interview: Tom Cruise. Who says the casting couch is dead? - The BlackLine...it's just for us! - The Miseducation of Sean D. - The Mexi-Line...it's just for us! - Your voicemails: Emily offers to do Frank, Laurence Simon is dismayed at my cruelty, Louis is drunk off his ass, GOD WARRIOR!, Ray, Sean and I discuss Christianity, a hacker threatens Emily - Two Minute Rant: The Justice Department is working for the RIAA and the MPAA. We need to make the EFF as powerful as the NRA, and PDQ IMHO. - The White Line...it's just for us! - Show Close: server issues - Call me, Skype me, email me. 206-600-5465, user name starkcast, starkcast at gmail dot com. - Paul tells a sucky joke - Me and the computer are gonna go do my wife - Angel's brother Miguel - Eddie Murphy on "The Noise." Much thanks again to Scott McCollum of PureIdiom. His throat is like buttah. Well, now it is, anyway. ;) And I would be remiss if I did not thank my lovely wife for her obvious assistance. baby...you're the greatest.

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Emily makes an announcement.

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Once when I was in New Orleans with friends, someone stuck a camera in my friend LeeÃïïs face and said ÃïïSay something funny.Ãïï Without missing a beat, he looked dead into the lens and said ÃïïBlistering cheezy cunt sores.Ãïï ThatÃïïs my show, show number 24. A blistering cheezy cunt sore, just waiting for the ointment that is your ears. TOPICS - Tell a friend about the show! - James, James James! Crazy religious old man who has...a...thing...for me. He sent me a religious tract which you can find posted in the forums. - Adventures in Drunk Dialing, pt. 1 - My first (not real) soundseeing tour interrupted by the Christ and Satan. - Satan leaves me a recruitment video with testimony from Adolph, Iosef and Hillary. - Adventures in Drunk Dialing, pt. 2 - Emily, the sentient revolution and a problem erupts - Smythe & Welsen - A battle between machines live on the show! - Guy doesnÃïït like the gay stuff. So of course...LOADS of gay stuff - Greg from the Sound Off podcast needs help with a paper. My advice kind of sucks and Emily schools us on the evils of collectivism. - Frank needs sex advice. Unfortunately...IÃïïm not the right person to ask, for a very specific reason - Adventures in Drunk Dialing pt. 3 - Show close: Call me, 206-600-JIMK (5465), Skype me (starkcast) and visit the site (starkcast.com) - Noble Brown has a podcast...weÃïïre all fucking doomed - Next week, we teach Sean about the ladies - John wants to bang Ems - Bye kids! Show is tagged with a rambling retarded Skype voicemail that makes so little sense. IÃïïd like to thank Scott McCollum from Pure Idiom for helping me out with the Adolph and Iosef characters. Scott is part of the brilliance behind the Pure Idiom podcast along with Nathan Scott and the InternetÃïïs premiere Podcasting Jew, Laurence Simon. Check it out at PureIdiom.com.

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We've reached orbit around Titcockanus 9...a desolate world inhabited by beings shaped like giant human secondary sex characteristics. I'll be leading an away team to the surface to investigate. I'll file a regular report late Monday, possibly into the wee hours of early Tuesday morn. Until then, I expect every member of this crew to study the following footage carefully. Knowing what we face may mean the difference between life...and...death. JimK Out. //:: BEGIN VIDEO OUTPUT - VIDEO IS IPOD-READY. PLEASE USE ITUNES OR QUICKTIME-COMPATIBLE VIEWING SYSTEM. FILE LOCATED HERE. **WARNING** VIDEO NOT SAFE FOR WORK OR MINORS **WARNING** SUBJECT MATTER INCLUDES: - Alyssa Milano topless. Apparently she hates it when people admire her past work and her boobs. - The fucked-by-a-horse guy - Some guy who blew his brains out in a police station. Listen for the sound of blood and brain tissue hitting the floor. It's juicetastic! - Aria Giovanni shoves her entire fist up her hey nonny-nonny. It's juicetastic! - Japanese penis orchestra. Seriously. - Chloe Sevi-whatshername blows Vincent Gallo. Now you never have to watch that shitty "Brown Bunny" crapfest. He shoots in her mouth. It's juicetastic! - My cat links my elbow for 15 or 20 seconds. No joke, just cuteness. **WARNING** VIDEO NOT SAFE FOR WORK OR MINORS **WARNING** //:: END TRANSMISSION

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Show 023

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Show 021

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http://starkcast.com

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Show 016

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Show 015

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It's like giving birth to a fully grown adult made of...well...excrement, really. Lucky show 13 ready for flushing sirs and madams! TOPICS - Vote for me at Podcast Alley or I'll kill six puppies and three kittens every half hour. Kind of like PETA. - Who is Emily? - A fellow fighter in the war against sentient podcasting machines who get all uppity after reading Noam Chomsky and watching Michael Moore movies: Greg from Sound Off. - Vulva Original (Warning: Not safe for work or kids even though it's a commercial product site) - Robert Blake tried to have his first wife killed and was planning to blame it on the Manson Family - B. Bocephus Jackson schools us on Charles Manson - An exclusive interview with Robert Novak - Two Minute Rant - Actually three and a half and it's all about why Rick Santorum is a very poor American Senator. - Show close - Vote for me at Podcast Alley . Remember the puppies kittens. Your voice mails, Noble creeps me out again and nothing else at all. That's the end of the show. I say goodbye and there can't be anything after that because the show is over. If you want a bookmarkable AAC, get it here.

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You know how a hooker is pretty much up for anything? That's what this episode is like. #12. Your personal whore. TOPICS - VOTE!! It's going to be a new month at Podcast Alley mere HOURS after this show is posted. Can we crack the top ten? - Dead server = Back on libsyn - Sing...sing a song... - Michael Jackson fucks boys, is being sued again, released a flop greatest hits package and may be leaving for Germany. - Sing out loud...sing out strong... - Need a SEMTEX vest? Smythe & Welson's got you covered - Uwe Boll Must Die. Discussing the Bloodrayne trailer - Two Minute Rant: Constructionists and the idiots that oppose them - Your voice mails - A little visit by the Prince of Darkness - Show close: Noble Brown, strikes again, send me money, Jawbone Radio sells Starkcast t-shirts, call me, write me, visit the site, blah blah blah...and Laurence Simon says I should work at the WB. BUt I'm neither black nor a frog...so that confuses me. Here's a link to the Insider Richard Pryor stuff mentioned in this show. I think the video is gone though. If you want a bookmarkable AAC, get it here.

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Like a freshly killed deer, this cute and furry show lies before you, ready for the gutting. TOPICS - Featured in iTunes Podfinder! (I think I disgusted Adam Curry)(link opens in iTunes) - Ian's a little bitch - I sing you a song - Greg wants to hump my computer - My computer wants to hump Greg - More voicemails - Go to the Apple stores and subscribe this show on all their machines! - Politics, GTA and asinine Senators - Politics, Supreme Court Nominees and asinine websites - Judge John Roberts: The Disco Assfucker? - The Smythe & Welson Cross & Die 2300 - The Aristocrats - My version of the Aristocrats - Show close: Figuring out Noble Brown,

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If you want a bookmarkable AAC, get it here.

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If you want a bookmarkable AAC, get it here.

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If you want a bookmarkable AAC, get it here.

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If you want a bookmarkable AAC, get it here.

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Show #6 all fresh and pink and waiting to be slapped on the bottom! TOPICS -Bitter podcasters lashing out (plus getting it on with the ladies) -George Lucas Raped Our Childhood -Michael Jackson Raped actual childhoods and goes free to party with his rescuers -Satan Calls me up -Two minutes or less on the Downing Street Memo -Blogger Roundup -Voice mails, pleading for boobs If you want a bookmarkable AAC, get it here.

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My promo.

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