Welcome to the Summer Grasses podcast, the audio home of the stories of Charlie Close. All things must come to and end, and today I want to let you know that this is the end of the Summer Grasses podcast. It has been a pleasure to write and read for you. Even though Summer Grasses is coming to and end, it is also time for new beginnings. One season turns to another. I am getting ready to read my work publicly, in venues big or small. I'll start in the Detroit area, and I expect my reach to grow over time. I am also working on other writing projects that I hope to share in due course. There are many more stories to tell. If you would like to request a reading, wherever you are, or be notified when new stories become available, drop me a line at charlie.close@gmail.com. Until then, thank you so much for your listnership. It has meant a great deal to me. Take care, and bye for now. Running time: 1:02

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I had a management reputation to live up to, which is why I chipped in comments like these. "That task might take longer that it sounds on paper. Have you incorporated the extra risk into your plan?" ...and... "It's critically important to get off to a strong start. Otherwise it can be awfully hard to finish strong, like I know we all want to. Right, guys?" ...and... "Are you comfortable with the proposed deployment strategy, Wendell? We can always refactor it to give greater weight to the weakest links in the dependency chain." That's what management is for, I realized, to be cautious and leaven the conversation with the wisdom of experience. I gave them all a lot to chew on, judging by the looks around the table generated by my ideas and I could feel I was getting into the swing of things. Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/work/middlingmanagement/1/ Running time: 34:21

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Edith explained that the ADMIN account was not intended for printing, not ever. Jane tried to explain how she was just trying to have one login that could do both tasks and that - Edith stopped Jane. Hearing that her original message had not been received, Edith sought to clarify it by repeating it a little louder and pointing at the computer... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/work/charliesfirstdayofwork/1 Running time: 12:16

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I did a little checking up on this company and sure enough it was a big and well-known financial services company. And they were in Michigan! I felt like I had finally arrived at my new home. I was so happy that I actually printed off the email and stood over Kathy while she read it. "Neat!" said Kathy. "It's in Farmington Hills!" I said. "Somebody not in Seattle found my resume." And then she did understand and we were both happy together, she like Dorothy Gale, and I, like the high-stepping munchkin who hooks her by the elbow and dances her around in a circle. Ha ha ha! Ho ho ho!... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/work/jobsearch/1 Running time: 22:32

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The next morning at 0600, Kathy, Butch, and I had breakfast again at our favorite Billings restaurant...the Cracker Barrel. For breakfast they serve six varieties of biscuits and gravy, four varieties of pancakes and French toast, etc, three types of fruit cup, along with all the coffee you can drink. Butch wanted an omelette. He asked the waitress what kinds were available. She told him that they serve Cheese, Ham & Cheese, Bacon & Cheese, Sausage & Cheese, and Western. Butch asked her if the Western omelette came with cheese... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/journeytomichigan/1 Running time: 35:52

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Kathy turned forty early this month, and she passed through it mostly unscathed. And, having reached this mature age, she has concluded that if you want the party done the way you like it, you should do it yourself... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/family/kathysbirthday/1 Running time: 1:45

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Where do you go to buy gag gifts? I didn't know, really, but time was running out and I had to hurry up and get one. "Why don't you try Brown's?" said Kathy, meaning the local hardware store. I didn't have any better ideas so I shrugged and said, "Okay." "Try to get a singing bass," she said. "They probably have those there."... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/hunterhats/1 Running time: 4:26

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When I arrived home I had to fight my way out of the car. I honked the horn for Kathy to open the door so I could rush through it. I grabbed the pizza and started running. At that moment a flash of lightning struck near the trees by the house. To me it looked like any other flash. Only it wasn't. As I walked in the door Kathy said, "Oh, great. We just lost power." My first feeling was relief. No more weather channel... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/storms/1 Running time: 15:34

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The other day Kathy's brother Butch came to visit. He had stopped at Dunkin' Donuts for coffee on the way to our place. I first saw the sugar-frosted Styrofoam cup as he walked in the door, holding it at arm's length while he kicked off his shoes. "What's that?" I demanded, knowing perfectly well what it was... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/family/dunkinthebarbarian/1 Running time: 3:43

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I used to imagine that when Kathy did the shopping, she moved up and down the aisles and the groceries floated off the shelves and into her cart. Perhaps she sang a trilling song to them the way Snow White did when she wanted to charm a bird onto her hand. Ah-ha, ah-ha, ah-ha-ha-ha-haaaaaaa... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/groceries/1 Running time: 8:21

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When he turned six Morgan had a big birthday party. He was allowed to invite anyone he wanted. This was a party for a big boy. Up until now only members of his family had been invited. "Who do you want to invite?" Mother asked. Morgan had not thought about it until now. It was one thing to say that he could invite anyone and another thing to invite particular people... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/stories/schoolyardsketches/theredstack/1 Running time: 7:23

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When one of the Sparks scored a goal, the keeper fished the ball out of the net and threw it hard thirty feet back to the referee. Her face was bunched up tight, pissed off for letting that ball through... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/family/soccer/1 Running time: 11:30

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Kathy asked me the questions, and as I answered them I wondered, Does that sound happy? Would B show my happiness better than C? Is this quiz going to probe my soul with a long straw and find there is nothing to suck?... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/barelyhappy/1 Running time: 1:56

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I am about to break a promise. I promised myself a long time ago that I would never write an essay in February about winter. Who needs another lament about the grayest time of the year? And yet, as I sit here in the middle of February, the grayest, grayest, grayest time of the year, something has to be said, so I am going to say it... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/winter/1 Running time: 7:36

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"Would you move the laundry to the drier, since you're up?" Now I know she hadn't said "you", meaning me, until I asked. I say, "See. That's one right there. The pronoun thing." Kathy pauses for a slow breath. "I," she says pointing to herself, "don't know what you," she says pointing to me, "are talking about."... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/pronounmuteness/1 Running time: 3:06

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Perhaps it is understandable, with the hackysack circle of a lifetime taking place, that Mr. Kawalski did not notice the fight that broke out between two of his students. One of the boys had told the other that he "smelled like a log". The boy who heard this didn't know what it meant - and neither did the boy who said it - but it was clearly an insult that could not be ignored, so they started fighting... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/advertising/1 Running time: 10:44

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It's hard to keep cats from going where you don't want them to go, isn't it? It's like they have minds of their own. They get into everything and either break it or put scratches into it. I know your frustration and can show you a great trick for keeping your cats in line... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/acatinhand/1 Running time: 2:12

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"It's true, sweetie," I said to Kathy, "pie is a very funny word. Listen: piiiiiie. See? I'm almost laughing now." I felt the corners of my mouth twitch upward. Kathy said, "Is that what you're thinking about when I'm talking and you're not listening?" "Um, no." "Oh, right." I don't get it. Why doesn't Kathy like my theories when she thinks I'm ignoring her?... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/pie/1 Running time: 7:29

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She had not wanted muscles. If you're twelve years old, and five-foot-seven and weigh (arrrrrgh!) almost a hundred pounds, muscles don't help. They just make you look even bigger. Dad did not listen. He dragged her onto the court and made her play horse and one-on-one. It would have been torture if she had cared, since he could outshoot her from anywhere in the driveway and block any shot she tried to take. "Come on!" he said. "Shoot it! Shoot it!" And when she tried to shoot he slapped it away and she had to chase it out into the road again... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/stories/schoolyardsketches/roaringcrowd/1 Running time: 24:23

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I'm betting that some of you have started a novel at one time or another and couldn't get past the first few pages. I know what that's like and I think I can help... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/askthepage/1 Running time: 5:45

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My grief was deep but brief - here were the new toothbrushes. Time to use mine. You might be wondering, how did I know which one was mine? Good question. Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/toothbrushes/1/ Running time: 5:49

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No, sir, these lozenges were made by cough drop makers who specialize in drops that taste so bad you get well just so you don't have to suck them anymore. You don't believe me? Let's have a test. I'm going to say the flavor of a cough drop and you tell me the first thing that comes to your mind. Ready? Honey Lemon... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/sickdays/1/ Running time: 11:23

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"Now in this ceremony we will be choosing a chief. The thing to remember about this Indian ceremony is that it is very solemn, very serious. And the chief has to be the most solemn Indian in the tribe. Do you know how to be solemn?" The class looked at their teacher without speaking. One or two shook their heads... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/stories/schoolyardsketches/solemn/1/ Running time: 8:04

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"Little Jack Horner," he continued, "sat in a corner eating his Christmas pie. He stuck in his thumb, and pulled out a plum, and said, 'Ughhh! I hate plums!'" As he recited his story Julius made a deep scooping motion with his thumb, followed by a horrible spinach-for-dinner face. No one could doubt that Little Jack Horner really hated plums. The class burst into laughter and clapped spontaneously. Many of them didn't like plums either and admired anyone who would say so out loud. Sister Mary Agnes clapped as hard as anyone... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/stories/schoolyardsketches/showandtell/1/ Running time: 10:15

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"But now there's a-gonna be a reckoning," I said, thumping the table. "You can't ignore the fact that McDonalds is part of the problem by the way it creates demand through advertising. Never mind me - I'm old and set in my ways. I'm already a goner, but think about the kids today who eat nothing but fries and drink nothing but soda! Think," I said, "of the children." Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/thejourneyof10000steps/1/ Running time: 6:12

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Let me just begin by saying my wife loves me very much. Having said that, she does not like everything I do. Take, for example, the way I occupy our home with my physical presence... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/yourbigassclogsmylivingroom/1/ Running time: 11:25

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There was no one at the door, maybe because the house was set further back than most, or maybe because it was getting late and all the other kids had gathered enough candy for one year. But the light was on, so Jeffrey walked right up to it and banged on the door. When the door opened, he knew right away that this was going to be different... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/stories/schoolyardsketches/jeffreyslasttrickortreat/1/ Running time: 16:29

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Wendy mixed drinks while Kathy and I gave out treats. Wendy mixed drinks for everyone. Screwdrivers, I can say from experience, are excellent for trick-or-treating. The kids don't know what they're missing... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/family/halloweenparty/1 Running time: 15:54

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If anyone ever asks me, "What is the smartest thing you have ever done?" I will have an answer. Too bad no one has asked me, but that's okay. I'll be ready... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/flowers/1/ Running time: 9:12

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I sat down at the computer, where I saw a dialog box on the sceen that explained that the video card settings were too meagre for the game that Kendall was trying to play. I fussed with the settings like a safecracker listening to tumblers in a lock, and was able to get the game to start. Done and done. Case closed. Charlie adding his few carrots to the family's stone soup. And this is where my hidden talent was exposed. The game Kendall was trying to start was called Cosmopolitan Virtual Makeover. I said, "Well, how cool is this!" I was only trying to be friendly. "You want to play?" asked Kendell. "Uh-oh," I said... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/family/charliethebeautyconsultant/1/ Running time: 6:04

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"You think you know someone, and then they say something like that." Kathy spoke those words to me the other day. Why? Because I just said what everyone knows. "Blue is a boy color," I said. "And what?" said Kathy. "Pink is for girls?" "No, that's not what I mean. I'm not saying that blue is for boys. I'm saying that blue is a boy... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/blueisaboy/1 Running time: 4:35

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There is, however, more than one way to comfort a friend in need. There's the listening and helping way, like what Kathy does, and then there's my way, what I think of as love and hug therapy. I give Kathy a heapin' spoonful of it whenever the world gets her down... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/loveandhugtherapy/1 Running time: 6:49

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Kathy is the first and best editor of all my stories. As soon as I write something, I print it out and set it on the end table next to where she sits. And then I wait. But I do not wait in silence. I will say something like, "I wrote a story for you to look at." And then, a few minutes or a few hours later I will say, "Did you have a chance to look at that story? Just asking." And then a little after that I say, "How's that story coming? No worries. Just wondering." One time Kathy asked, "Does it have me in it? Because if it has me in it, and you're telling everyone what a hag I am, then no, I haven't read it..." Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/burningembers/1 Running time: 12:45

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John watched and fumed and squirmed, and at last he reached for the only thing left he could think of to get Aubrey to leave him alone. "I know something about her you don't know." Aubrey pulled his lips back from his fist and squinted at John. "What?" he said. "I know her name," said John... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/stories/schoolyardsketches/namesofsaints/1 Running time: 13:17

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"You could write them a note." "Have you tried to read my handwriting? If it's bad now, just picture it when I'm old." "I don't have to imagine it. Remember I met you by writing letters? I could barely read them. I must have been desperate." She sighed, "'Well, if he's a man and he can lick a stamp, who cares what he says.'" "That's so sweet! And I said, 'I don't care if she lives eight states over and runs the vacuum cleaner four times a day, she's the one for me.' " "Speaking of cleaning," she began. "Oh, God," I said. Cleaning again... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/afteryou/1/ Running time: 9:18

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When I saw that ED could be connected to heart disease and diabetes, I knew ED was now sitting at the grownup's table and a new day had dawned. I asked myself, what else could cause ED? Surely there's more... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/ed/1/ Running time: 6:13

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I watched the Rush concert sitting cross-legged directly in front of the television, so close that I could have touched the screen with my elbows. It was great. What can I say? - it was great. Nothing more needs to be said. That sums it up...just...how good it was. My parents elected not to to leave the room while I watched the show. Afterward I asked Dad, "So, what did you think?" "Sounds just like their records," he said. Tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't have agreed more... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/rushatthedte/1/ Running time: 25:37

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Kathy has a game she likes to play in bed. No, not that. Her favorite game, once I get into bed, is to see if she can get me back out of it... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/thegame/1/ Running time: 6:26

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It was filled with the kind of jokey prose that I have since matured away from. Sure, it's fine for a few hundred words at a time, but who can read it for thirty single-spaced pages of small type? I had the same thought on every page: this might have been pretty good if only I had stopped on page two... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/greensnow/1/ Running time: 4:07

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I said, "Ahh, easy come, easy go. I can do without coffee." I stared at the ceiling as if the coffeeless life were up there somewhere. Kathy squeezed my hand. "Good," she said... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/tea/1/ Running time: 6:54

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And there is a third sister who is almost never mentioned at family gatherings and who shall not be mentioned further here... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/family/lightningdrive/1 Running time: 4:38

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He stood up and rubbed against me. Who wants to pet their favorite kitty? I started to poke my finger again, but it only made me feel mean and foolish. "Okay, just one pet. C'mere, kitty."... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/blissfulmorning/1 Running time: 8:50

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We have long since passed the time in our relationship where it is based on flowers and candy, yet it still goes strong, 'til death do us part. But it isn't always obvious. To less experienced couples the past few days would have seemed less than passionate, and yet they would have been wrong... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/feelinthelove/1 Running time: 3:57

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I have never understood what the term loss of innocence means. The phrase almost always signals that something bad is about to happen... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/stories/remainders/aplus/1 Running time: 12:57

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Being an object lesson is not as easy as it looks. It means that now that I've confessed my sins and repented of them, and led the congregation of men in the singing of hymns to take better care of our wives, I had damn well better not commit the sins again. Which is why I was on the Internet on February 8th to order flowers for Kathy for Valentine's Day. There was no way I could allow myself to forget. And, even though I was only doing the right thing, on time, like any responsible adult would do, I still felt a little proud of myself... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/husbandandwife/valentinesdaysurprise/1 Running time: 7:17

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When I was twenty I moved out of my college dormitory room for the third and last time... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/stories/remainders/emptyingoutmyroom/1 Running time: 4:56

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I was so surprised to come up short on the algebra problem that I didn't ask her about my book. Well, it wasn't really my book. One of my poems was published in a poetry anthology, and she asked for a copy. I wanted to ask her how she would like it signed. Usually the autographee wants something specific from the autographer, and I thought it was appropriate to ask before I inscribed my book. Sorry. I mean the book, not my book... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/betteratthat/1/ Running time: 8:03

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Adam and Rickey both giggled, and they started roaring louder. They forgot about Mrs. Budleigh's class. They roared for the kickball game, and they roared for the jungle gym and for the last six weeks of school - and finally they roared just to be roaring... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/stories/schoolyardsketches/lion/1 Running time: 8:51

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Kendall shrugged, rolled her eyes, and skipped out the door that opened onto the deck. I watched through the window as she walked from one end of the wooden porch to the other - bored, bored, bored. Then I turned back to the others. "You know," Wendy told us, "I let Kendall go to her first football game by herself."... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/family/scared/1 Running time: 3:48

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Then I heard footsteps behind me and someone making noises that didn't make sense. I stopped and turned around and saw a middle aged Japanese man hurrying toward me... Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/stories/remainders/cherrypetals/1/ Running time: 4:32

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Well, you know how it goes. One pair of pants turned into two pair, then three, and Kathy started to think of things I might need pants for. "What if," Kathy asked, "you have to visit a Navy captain on a submarine in the Atlantic Ocean? Then you would want to have some dark blue pants with a stripe down the leg." She held up just such a pair. "They have them in your size..." Text version: http://summergrasses.com/content/essays/thefoolsjourney/captainpants/1 Running time: 9:34

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