Joel discusses the tale of several teenagers who had their face paint rather forcibly removed.

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Joel discusses our recent sporadic posting and concludes he needs to piss you all off by talking about Harry Potter.

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Joel talks about the potentially disastrous drive he did from Seattle to Portland and then regales us with a tale of a heroic chihuahua.

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Joel discusses discusses how Barack Obama feels about violent and such and God gives Pat Robertson some expert advice on prostate care.

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Joel discusses the fact that World of Warcraft never ends and that kids can have fun outside in the real world as well. zomg! wtf nub?! l2gooutside!

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Joel discusses current opinions regarding doctors and rabbis removing excess skin from little boys’ peepees when they’re babies and makes an odd comparison between this practice and a ping pong paddle.

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Joel discusses the state of zero tolerance policies in schools around the country. Parents are far too overprotective today… so protective in fact that they can put their own children’s lives in jeopardy.

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Joel discusses a mugging in North Carlina that only Samuel L. Jackson is suited to thwart.

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Joel discusses the trend amongst pediatricians to use kinder, gentler words to when referring to children who are grossly overweight or obese. This is all part of an effort to not traumatize children. But seriously, treating this with kid gloves does not help the fact that our children are getting fatter and fatter and jeopardizing [...]

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Joel discusses the story of the nation of Israel boycotting the Abba musical, “Mama Mia!” I’m just not quite sure how to feel about all of this.

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Joel discusses the growing interest in Spam by traditional fast food chains in their Hawaiian franchises. Begin singing “Spam Song” now.

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Joel regales us with a tale of some street mutts in Thailand who were recruited by the police as drug sniffing dogs only to be fired for some rather typical canine behavior.

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Joel discusses a tale so bizarre, so funny that he really didn’t need to do any jokes to make it funny. “Man injured in spitting contest”.

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Joel discusses a recent article in which Paris Hilton, while behind bars, professes that she is no longer going to pretend to be a dumb blond… and just be herself… a dumb blond. Though, she does have a good point about the media’s overreaction to her incarceration.

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Joel a new candidate for the position of Surgeon General and his silly analogies as to what is good and proper sexual behavior and he likens it to plumbing!

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Joel whines about why we have been off the air with “Commentary with Joel” for two weeks, reiterates that Uwe Boll basically sucks ass, that we are getting our ass handed to us by a block of cheese and that Vladimir Putin doesn’t seem to realize the Cold War is over… and the Russians basically [...]

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Joel discusses why he’s worried about people who aren’t worried about the world’s dwindling oil reserves as well as a suicide bombing in the Middle East that was condemned by the most unlikely of organizations.

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Joel opines about the release of Scrubs, Season 3 and Disney’s, The New World. He also doesn’t care about Nick Lachey, The Red Hot Chili Peppers, Gnarles Barkley or The Pussycat Dolls and somehow connects all this to Vincent Price.

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Joel reiterates the obvious. The films of Uwe Boll, despite the presence of some fine actors, basically suck ass.

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Joel discusses the story of a man who was unfortunate enough to piss off a machete wielding maniac by singing a Celtic football song.

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Joel discusses the story of a group of Chinese citizens who are trying to get the Bible classified as violent and overtly sexual… in essence, classify it as porn. Mel Gibson does nothing to help stop this.

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Joel discusses the tale of a man with a false leg, a gas pedal and a rapidly approaching building.

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Joel discusses the bizarre tale of a man who managed to get a good night’s sleep… with a friggin bullet in his brain!

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Joel discusses yet more delusional public figures. This time it’s Bill O’Reilly’s four year old boycott of French products that resulted in an increased amount of money spent on French products by Americans.

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Joel discusses what appears to the onset of dementia or Alzheimers for George Lucas who has some rather sharp words for the new Spider Man movie.

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Joel discusses presidential candidate Mitt Romney’s track record on a woman’s right to choose and how a Republican colloquialism is coming back to bite them in the ass.

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Joel discusses a story about certain websites being blocked on military bases around the world that, strangely, are not actually blocked on the battlefield. I have a hard time imagining a jarhead pimping his MySpace page while dodging an an IED explosion.

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I don’t even know what to say about this, but Utah Republicans are f#$%ing insane.

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Joel discusses the ongoing saga of pet food tainted with the flame retardant chemical melamine.

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Busboy Troy regales us with a tale rife with sexual innuendo toward old ladies and the pushback it causes.

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Joel covers two short news articles. The first, your AOL password isn’t necessarily as secure as you might think. SHOCKING! The second, a boy in Washington state wakes up with a very bizarre pain in his ear.

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Busboy Troy discusses how customers react when their credit cards are declined and proposes a more positive way for them to approach the situation that benefits their servers greatly.

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While Joel waits for the release of "Posseidon", he takes some time to poke some holes in the documentary "Sir No Sir", poke some holes in the Vietnam war movie genre, admits that we are all going to see "MI3" with nutcase Tom Cruise and possibly the stupidest actor in the world, Ethan Hawke, (you [...]

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Joel discusses the case of a chimpanzee is Austria whose guardian is fighting a complicated legal battle to establish his HUMAN rights. This is simply going to piss off Creationists and confuse the hell out of Darwinists.

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A bloody knife rinsing in a sink portends the worst in this 60 Second Movie hour short film. Beaunanza.com

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Busboy Troy discusses the finer points of asking for a customer’s ID when they order a drink and a great tactic to make women blush and possibly give you a larger tip than normal.

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