By 2015 there will be 100 million abandoned, antiquated, worn-out vibrators lying about in the United States. Listen to Norm talk about his amazing vibrator recycling idea.

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The mountain of fat with the Snickers bar, the back to school shoppers at Wal-Mart and don't send me photographs of your big scary gape.

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During a flag football game I massaged (and resuscitated) a beaver and then I seesawed the sister.

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My cousin from Las Vegas and how I broke her pelvic bone.

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The beehive had to go. Live on tape in-field recording using an Edirol R-09.

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The psychiatrist called to say I was, "clinically insane," the bong water and her Encare oval vaginal suppositories and I'm shoving rubber vibrators into loaves of bread at supermarkets and lots more!

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The upside down Saint Joseph figurine in a McDonald's cup, I told him it was Gatorade and Finney was gonna drive me to Tampa on his vintage Chinese military motorbike with sidecar but he pulled the release lever instead!

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I went to Tampa to make a buy but the moped I was driving fell apart and then the wheels got ripped off and they stole my gas too!

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Women's shoes at the Salvation Army store, the crocheted rooster head egg warmers, his dollar store cactus scheme and lots more!

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My amazing Independence Day underwear cannon and my sister Sandy shows up at all holiday family gatherings and heads straight to the toilet.

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Her Hohner harmonica, the roach that almost killed me, the lady with the enormous butt hole, I zipped her parakeet and lots more!

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Six women send me sexy photographs wanting me to perform an intimate act, my bizarre whale like cracking sounds and lots more!

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Her sick lawn, please empty mommies colostomy bag and lots more!

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Chicks with broken legs, KY Yours and Mine, I'm snapping my fingers again, strange cracking sounds are coming from my private area and lots more!

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I left my woman in a hotel room for just a short while and when I came back she had a guy in the room and I update you on the status of my guaranteed money making drive-up teller scheme!

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The poodle with the red scarf incident, my shopping cart invention and lots more!

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My latest book: 2.5 Million Sexual Positions, the Starbucks logo controversy, the Target department store help button and lots more!

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How I successfully metal detected on a protected beach using my custom built beach toboggan. Recorded live on tape using an Edirol R-09.

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Clearwater Beach, the movies, Brickhouse and the heel of her shoe, my invention and lots more!

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They got me on videotape, the Band-Aid I almost swallowed, Cosmopolitan magazine, the shopping cart at Walgreens and lots more!

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Jim Wilson, the bicycle built for two, her Harley, I took the bus to pick up my package, the clogs and lots more!

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Her car broke down and I was going to assist her and the story about the rogue wheelchair that slammed into my vintage Caddy while at the Wal-Mart.

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Get with lots of chicks using my revolutionary breast megaphone sound wave method, the squirrel I helped and how best to use a hacksaw when cutting through bicycle frames.

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The Georgia peach says I'm a crybaby.

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Held against my will in a behavioral science ward.

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One out of four teenage American girls and my amplified audio pleasure stick invention with weatherproof speakers.

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Her foam mattress, lint rollers and you, paper mache, the lemon cake incident, I fell off a Walmart roof and lots more.

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I hurt myself by falling into a deep hole, a woman phones me and says I'm vulgar and I get a free 50 gallon drum of Pliatex casting rubber.

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The defective bed, the buy, my shoes, tooth fillings and lots more.

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My parking lot ordeal with the angry middle-aged bag.

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The ice fishing rental guy, her wine store, Gloria and the 7-Eleven Incident and lots more!

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She said I needed ten friends, the toilet flush button, your lover and the importance of lint rollers, masking tape, doorbell buttons, at the movies and lots more!

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I rent an ice fishing shanty on Houghton Lake in Michigan and it eerily resembles a Vietnam hot box (Live in field recording using an Edirol R-09).

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The call from the woman in Seattle, my long lost nudie Polaroid pictures, my new menopause pad invention, I hit myself in the jaw with a jar of spaghetti sauce and I get flushed out a walk-in bathtub and end up in a Tampa hospital.

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I drove them to the airport and something bad happened, the attorney, I'm not normal and lots more!

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Her kid lit my car on fire, the Christmas beating, dad and the boat and lots more!

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The airplane in crotch incident, my mood ring observation, my sleep walking horror, action from a woman living behind Kmart, I played Twister with her kids and her daughter was a Double-D.

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I'm invited to go on a hunting outing on a rural piece of land in upstate New York near Blue Mountain Lake. I bring along my .357 handgun and my 12 gauge shotgun. Be my guest on my special holiday hunt.

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Free Nordstrom gift via helium balloon, paper-mache Christmas tree toppers, Smitten For Clinton, the methane explosion, let's make a snowman, my Christmas lovemaking story.

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The Omaha shooting, paper-mache, vacant or occupied, Hanukkah gifts, my micro-torch.

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I talk about my four days working at a Christmas tree lot in Buffalo, New York.

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Learn how to create paper-mache holiday turkeys that you can throw at people and hopefully knock them unconscious.

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I've got my rifle and I'm in a swamp in Florida and I'm gonna take out a woodpecker but the whole thing winds up a grizzly, horrific, unbelievable, bloody mess. Remote field recording using an Edirol.

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Chanukah, the death of my dad, attire for pregnant women, their toy, the clogged chicken artery, her acrylic nail.

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Helpful hints, artificial hips and knees, a sandwich made with heels, walking on sharp tissue and nearly dying, Halloween invention for chicks.

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This Halloween get lots of action with my invention, baby poop sifting update, Mathew 18:20, another complaint, masking tape on hotel carpets (what I recently found), and the one place you should be using lint rollers.

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A game I invented that you and your old lady can participate in together during Halloween and it's like the log roll that lumberjacks compete in but it's for women only and it's a lot more difficult.

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I destroy a wheelchair strapped to the back of a 1976 Chrysler Cordoba, breasts, germs, pink Energizer batteries and lots more!

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I try to purchase a couple of White Widow seeds and the buy goes bad. Real Bad.

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The unexpected phone call, my dream about Maceland, sleepwalking (but not really), breast-feeding and lots more!

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She asked me to come over to re-caulk her bathtub, my diaphragm flower pot and I found a coin hidden in crap mined from a mall diaper and lots more!

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When you're walking down the halls and your privates hit the walls and how you can make big money by sifting through baby poop in public restrooms.

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How to brick your neighbors router and the story about the girl that told me her father was eaten by serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer.

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You aren't ever getting a call on your iPhone, the guy from Vietnam, she asked me to videotape the birth of her child, 18 Wheeler, dead chicks with unfinished business, Ginger Heights and much more!

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Use masking tape in your hotel room to detect pubic hairs and I get an unexpected call from a police detective.

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Rare in the field recording offers step by step instructions on how you too can fill car doors of people you've never met (with cement) and the story about the cat that beheaded my bird friend.

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Cloning puppies from the DNA of Doo Drop, my rubber band vibrator idea, the contraceptive sponge, 18 Wheeler, filling car doors with concrete and lots more!

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I accidentally pushed my foot through the lid of Doo Drops homemade coffin, I was nearly arrested by a Florida game warden, chicks with broken bones, I found panties in a supermarket, the famous woman that Fed-Exed me the GPS unit and lots more!

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In my dream I'm making love in a dumpster, her VCF saved the day, my new living art invention, hymens in amber (fossilized tree resin), scary cracking noises in my private area and lots more!

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