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Limited Appeal is a self-explanatory podcast, really. On a weeklish basis, three old university friends now scattered across the world meet for a Skypechat that is recorded for your detr. . . , er, benefit. Surprisingly, we actually edit out the more boring parts of the conversation, and try to leave you with a few pearls of wisdom that are gleaned from consistently ridiculous points of view on discussion topics ranging from the mundane to the absurd. If you occasionally enjoy some of our conversations, we are pleased. But be warned: our motto is, "In case you were expecting something, this is what you get."



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Comedy and Humor
Regional > Canadian

Date Added 16-Mar-2006 Hits: 183 Rating: 4.20 Votes: 15

 

If you liked this show, you might like I Like Bowling

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Limited Appeal Episodes -

Limited Appeal - Triangle Square Blue
As you can see, we have moved to episode shapes instead of numbers, for obvious reasons. In this week's "Nature Walk", we discuss animal halitosis. Then we discuss which country has the best flag. In our inaugural "Foody Goody" segment, we promote the expansion of preservation methods. Is jerkifying a word? If it is, it probably doesn't mean what you think it does.
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Limited Appeal - Ellipse Orange
Still more foody for your goody. Which kind of animal trimmings are the best? We reveal the long-sought answer in this week's episode. In our first "Sportage" segment, we discuss how Memphis managed to upset Oral Roberts. A long, complicated, story...
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Limited Appeal - Episode Four Plus
This week we offer slightly more than usual. Our inaugural segment of Dictionary Plus deals with the phrase "needless to say". Perhaps we needn't have bothered to say anything about it, but we do aim for more than is needed: what is needed...plus. We also feature our first "Sportage" segment, in which we propose alternate uniforms (uniforms plus) for denoting specific members of sports teams. Finally, in our "Foody Goody" segment, we vacillate wildly on whether or not gum is food. If you think you know the answer, allow us to persuade you that there are at least two (two plus) equally ridiculous points of view, at least one of which (one plus) you might not have considered.
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Limited Appeal - Breathmint Boogie
An extended episode this week, devoted to a special edition of Pooh Corner, in which we attempt to discover what evidence would prove or disprove the existence of god (or God). If you are expecting something sober and intelligent, you clearly haven't been paying attention to the rest of our podcasts. "Whoopie ti-yi-yo/ Oh happy Magellan/ Starting your journey/ With hardly a care?"
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Limited Appeal - Luc's Bubble Throat
Everything we talk about this week comes shooting out of someone's body. Isn't that a happy thought? In our increasingly popular "Urban Legend" segment, Warren explains how to properly prepare for peeing. His advice may sound far-fetched, but, well, it?s true. In "Foody Goody", we ponder why cows, sheep, and goats are the mammals of choice for the world's milk supply, to the apparent exclusion of all kinds of mammals (and fish). Which milk would be best for your breakfast cereal? Tell us via email: maskedman@limitedappeal.net
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Limited Appeal - Somewhat Oiled Machine
We introduce a sexy-voice girl this week, who will help introduce some of the segments. What do you think? Let us know via email: maskedman@limitedappeal.net. We start this week's show with a discussion of Chicken Boo. He wears a disguise to look like human guys, but he's not a man, he's a chicken, boo! In Foody Goody, we debate the origin of cotton candy. Actually, we spend most of the time converting a cotton candy machine into an ass-cleaning implement.
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Limited Appeal - Gunmetal Droppings
This week Luc gets a bit irate, old-man style, about trendy new names for colours. Everyone else disagrees. In Inventions and Shit, we come up with a brilliant novelty item that is sure to generate millions. Ambitious inventors (or rock bands) should contact us by email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net) to obtain our logo for the corner of the toilet paper squares, and to offer us a cut of the profits. Also, please visit our myspace page: http://www.myspace.com/limitedappeal!
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Limited Appeal - Warren's Pet Otter
We start this week by contemplating the likely pets of each of the other hosts. If you have any suggestions of pets that would be well suited for one or more of us, let us know via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). In our "Nature Walk", John asks what the difference is between hair and fur. The answer may not be as straightforward as you think. What about sheep? What about teddy bears? Would YOU want a fur coat made of pubic fur?
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Limited Appeal - Poppycock
We start by reaching deep into the mail sack. Actually, this is a response to a comment on our MySpace page (http://www.myspace.com/limitedappeal) from our monotarded friend (no offence, Karm). If you want us to talk about your own question, but not necessarily answer it, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). In Dictionary Plus, we discuss Reuter's euphemistic phrase, "oedipal expletive". They're a bunch of smart mother-fuckers over at Reuter's, eh? One more thing: Warren and John are ridiculous nerds. If it's not already apparent, we provide the final proof. (Pazam!)
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Limited Appeal - Man Boob
In this week's ETWTF, we try (with very little success) to explain Marilyn Manson to aliens. If you are Marilyn Manson, and care to clear up the confusion about your ball-mask and tits, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Then, in Inventions and Shit, Warren proposes developing a pissgauge. We never fully decide whether this is a good idea, but it leads to a lot of intriguing discussion on piss. Go figure! Finally, we consider the lengths to which some people will go to prepare for the inevitable clean-up following a masturbatory session.
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Limited Appeal - Runescape mustard tits Pamela Anderson myspace dink
For all of you searching for enlightenment about Runescape or Pamela Anderson's dink, you've been had. Hey, if you're feeling bad about this, at least you're not CENSORED, wearing a CENSORED because you broke your CENSORED. If you don't understand our censorship, please refer to Episode Waxorama. We understand that inside jokes work poorly in a podcast, but we figure that our show is bad enough that it doesn't really matter. In "Inventions and Shit", John lists his three favourite inventions of all time. Strangely, the butt-cork wasn't on his list. Surprised? Email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). We leave you with some sage words: if you leave a little lube, it always comes back to you. One more thing: neopets.
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Limited Appeal - Nipple Tweaker Ted
We know Tedmas is over, but since Ted has had such a huge influence on our culture, we thought naming a second episode after him was OK. We start with an Urban Legend segment exploring the origin of shirt wearing among human men. Turns out a nipple-tweaking prank got way out of hand, and no one could get anything done. Pretty obvious in hindsight, eh? Then we take a Nature Walk and discuss the reintroduction of Bearded Vultures to the Alps. Just like John, they don?t eat meat but they sure like the bone. Somehow, our discussion leads us to strange foods, such as mouldy cheeses and berries. If you know of anything even weirder than bones that can be used as food, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net).
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Limited Appeal - Milk Man
We start by asking why there are no milkmen any more (especially in light of their reproductive success). That segment really sets the bar low for the rest of the episode. Next Warren tells a story about a waitress who used to be a phone sex operator, and often spoke of manmilk (do you get the theme yet?). If you have ever called a phone sex line and heard of manmilk, let us know via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Finally, Luc asks where you would like to obtain samples if you studied semen: your supervisor, your brother, a homeless guy, or a needle right into the "testes satchel"?
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Limited Appeal - Birdie Num Num
In this special double-segment, we wrap up our infamous Who's That Bird segment and award our long-awaited reacharound. In a surprise twist, we decide that the loser must provide said reacharound. Nevertheless, John maintains his strategy of being a complete jackass. Will it pay off? Listen, and find out! Learn about the accordion-shaped white laughing bird, the weeping football cannibal bird, and the two-fisted marine fisher in round one! As if that's not enough, we still have time to discuss Rich Little, the Three Stooges, and Toucan Sam before announcing a winner. Email us at maskedman@limitedappeal.net.
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Limited Appeal - Sock Tube
Welcome to Season 2! If you want to convey your surprise, congratulations, or disappointment that we're still producing this ridiculous podcast after more than a year, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). This week, after acknowledging General Patton vs. the X-ecutioners for our flashy new music, we move on to our first segment of the brand new season, Polish the Bishop, in which we attempt to decipher a cryptic euphemism. This leads to the quotable quip by T-Bone: "Why doesn't she just use a pair of socks?" In Urban Legend, Warren surprises us all by telling the truth for once, and it's at least as infuriating as when he's completely full of shit.
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Limited Appeal - Floppy Sock
We start with a new kind of (as-yet unnamed) segment, in which Warren asks us to name five translucent things. Pointless you say? Maybe. OK, definitely pointless. But it's no worse than most of our banter, right? Maybe? Well, to make up for it, Warren discusses how painful his wisdom tooth surgery was, even though he was given every anaesthetic known to man. Can you guess where they injected his drugs when they couldn't find a vein? Finally, we try to find an analogy for a painful medical condition: the three-day erection. How long did your most persistent erection last? Let us know via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net).
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Limited Appeal - Johnzo the Cannonball Catcher
We start off this week by discussing the censorship of naughty and/or offensive lyrics. If you're an impressionable youth who can be unduly influenced by suggestive language, send us an email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net), and we'll fill your brain with all kinds of great ideas. Later, we have a chat about Gonzo the Muppet's sexual obsession with chickens. What the hell is Gonzo, anyway? And what does he get out of catching cannonballs? The definitive (or, one might say, the conanical) answers to these and other questions are certainly not in this episode. But have a listen anyway, will you? Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Luc Likes Horny Goats
We start this week with the first ever Urban Legend segment that is NOT introduced by Warren, about goats and coffee. This leads T-Bone to propose a new method for getting drugs into your system. We take no legal responsibility for anyone who wishes to attempt T-Bone's suicidal technique. In sportage, Warren plays 3 NHL goal horns and following musical and asks us to guess the city from which the montages originated. The winner gets, well, just guess. If you want to complain about the redundant use of Blur music in NHL arenas, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net).
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Limited Appeal - What's that? You're curling, I reckon
In this week's episode, we begin with Sportage, and develop several exciting alternative rule sets for curling. How could curling possibly get more exciting? Just listen and find out. (OK, here's a hint: our ideas include fighting, exploding rocks, and bags of pubic hair.) As if that's not exciting enough, at one point Johnzo admits he has never seen Lanny McDonald naked. Loser! In Dictionary Plus, Warren asks us to find the opposite of the phrase, "There ain't no telling, I reckon." This predictably leads to a high-minded discussion about fuckin' epistemology. If you think you know the age of the tree from Dead Man Walking, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Human Tails Number 2
We begin this week with a brand new drinks-related segment, Alcoholics Says. It's meant to be the opposite of Alcoholics Anonymous. If you don't find that funny, see Episode Four Plus. If it's still not funny, well, fuck you. Our relatively innocuous conversation about drinks soon turns into a rather nasty discussion about all kinds of ass-related ailments. We even discover which children's toy is the perfect analogy for a certain rectal problem. If you have a sphincter story to tell, or want medical advice on how to get your prolapse under control, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net).
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Limited Appeal - Fat Fucking Squirrels
All this talk of climate change has Warren worrying about obesity in squirrels. What happens if there's no winter to stop them from overindulging in nuts? This conversation segues seamlessly and predictably into talk about monkey masturbation. Warren's hypothesis is that if a monkey is awake, it is probably masturbating. T-Bone suggests that, contrary to popular opinion, excessive masturbation leads to hair loss on certain parts of the monkey anatomy. In another amazing transition, our conversation steers towards exercise programs for fat monkeys and adolescents that involve masturbation and/or video games. If you are a monkey or an adolescent, or know the aerobic value of their masturbatory habits, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Cockfingers
We start with "What Would It Take" corner, and Warren asks what it would take for each of us to agree to sell his soul. Luc undersells everyone (perhaps a bit impulsively) before he realizes he has relinquished both his thermostat and his TUMS. A foolish man and his digestive aids are soon parted. As our resident philosopher, Johnzo finally comes to the rescue and explains exactly what to expect when we die: either nothing happens, or something happens. Profound shit, enh? We wrap up the episode with a considerably less-controversial subject: Hitler's mustache and his charisma. Were they related? Email us with your opinion (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings
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Limited Appeal - Riddle Me Anus
Johnzo proposes a new insult invoking Braille and gooseflesh. In Pooh Corner, Warren asks why skill-testing questions are required for contest-winners. Answer: we don't know. Now skip ahead to 5:20. Warren asks what would happen if everyone, all at once, mosh-pitted, and this naturally leads us to naked slides and John Tesh. Admit it, you're curious. Finally, Luc corrects T-Bone about whether snails have asses. What they do with that arrangement is their own business. If you have any snail-porn, send it to us: maskedman@limitedappeal.net. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Uncle Margery's Well-Armed Finns
This week we return to Foody Goody after a long lapse to briefly discuss Warren's Chinese Wedding experience, complete with bloody shark-fin soup. Then, in Pooh Corner, we ask how arms manufacturers sleep at night. Turns out you don't become the CEO of an Arms Manufacturing company by accident. Who knew? In the course of the conversation, we end up promoting two movies and one book, and Warren even suggests an improvement for the book title. We'll be expecting a cut from the producers and publisher shortly. To arrange the payment, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Fucking Fantasy Island
We start with another Urban Legend in which Warren proposes that ingesting very small amounts of a substance produces the opposite of its effect in large doses. So for example, a small amount of caffeine might put you to sleep. Confused? It's kinda like, um, magnets. One end of the magnet is like a small amount of coffee, and the other end . . . ah fuck it. It's total bullshit. In Dictionary Plus, Warren proposes the elimination of two words from the English language. Then we remark on the imprecision entailed in the "half-mile club". Our new recommendations help distinguish all kinds of sexual groupings in planes. If you have any further suggestions, let us know by email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Pubic Service
Our website tracker tells us what search terms lead visitors to the website, and we noticed recently that one inquisitive surfer stumbled onto our site after asking Google, "How do you know if your ballsack is shrinking". Recognizing that said web surfer must have been disappointed in our lack of shrinking ballsack-related web content, we decided to correct the situation. Do you have a question for our sexual health panel? Email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Finally, what would it take for you to agree to attend a $700 per plate event at which The Beach Boys play? If you are a fan of either The Beach Boy or the beach guyz, you probably won't appreciate our answers. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - No Please, Fucknose
What does it take to have the rights to play "What Does It Take" by Honeymoon Suite? We don't know. But Johnzo isn't offering much. In Dictionary Plus, we try to determine how to revoke a "please". Hey, we're always trying to help. If you work for the Oxford English Dictionary, contact us via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Finally, Warren issues an ultimatum to Ricky Gervais for stealing our format and making it funny. A reminder for anyone who is expecting us to be as funny as Ricky Gervais: this is what you get. Finally, we suggest a euphemism for smelly feet. Try it out when the guy next to you on the plane takes his shoes off. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - If I pick it it's super lame
Once Johnzo stops picking at it, we realize someone has punched us in the mail sack. Apparently some guy or girl left a comment on our myspace page complaining about belching in a recent episode. Curiously, she didn't complain about the rectal prolapse segment. Different folks, we guess. T-bone conditionally addresses her complaint, subject to the cooperation of Coca-cola and its corporate cronies. In the Urban Legend, Warren explains the origin of the phrase "riding shotgun". If you operate a bakery near Naples, you might consider erecting some protective barriers out front. If you know what riding shotgun is called when a woman is driving, let us know via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Coercive peanut butter
This week we feature a prolonged Nature Walk, in which Warren asks why some people refuse to eat cute animals. Would you eat tuna if it were accidentally caught in a dolphin net? Naturally this topic leads to questions about prohibitions against sex with animals, especially rabbits. (What did you expect?) Luc questions why the Bible recommends the execution of animal victims of rape. Warren then asks us whether we would consent to our pet having a sexual relationship with a person. This of course leads us to wonder how to determine whether a pet is consensual. If you know the answer, let us know via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Talk to me, Spermy
We start this week's episode with a Nature Walk, in which Warren asks what animal we would most like to speak English. None of the answers make any sense, but I suppose that's not very surprising. Nor is John's affection for wildebeests. In Dictionary Plus, Warren asks for a non-offensive word for blitzkrieg, just in case you need to use it at church. Those ushers, they get out of control sometimes. If you know a bad Craig, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Better than Iqbal
We begin with Warren attempting to impress us with his extensive knowledge of cricket, but we think he's full of shit. However, if your name is Tarnqvist and you know what silly-mid-off means, let us know (email maskedman@limitedappeal.net) so Warren can gloat. Then in Dictionary Plus, Warren asks why felching is so popular it's been dignified with a name. If you don't know what felching is, we can't help you. Try our old friend Google Images! Finally, in this week's Nature Walk, Luc describes a calf with an unusual eating habit. Moral of the story: never question a sacred cow, because he probably just cut himself shaving. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Moose Knuckle
We begin by explaining headcheese to John in our latest Foody Goody segment. This leads to a discussion of why such a comestible can be called cheese, and we conclude that a food can be called anything as long as one of the words in its name is true. T-bonešs anxiety about eating pig's feet is deepened when Luc describes how mushrooms are grown. Warren then asks when LOL is no longer sufficient to placate an offended text message recipient. Surprisingly, this leads to a whole lot of offensive conversation. We hope you're not offended (DNOEI!!!), but if you are, let us know in a cryptic acronym-ridden email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - What does your turtle taste like?
We start with another segment of Alcoholics Says. Warren introduces a new drink, which we attempt to find a catchy name for. This is kind of a pointless exercise, because Warren's own impression is that the drink is terrible. We do however stumble on Buckley's secret recipe! (Please do not sue us Mr. Buckley.) In a new low, Warren asks what it would take for each of us to eat our own poo. Sorry. I strongly recommend you don't listen to this segment. Seriously. If you insist, feel free to email us your complaints (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Opaque Christ
We start out this week by trying to name 5 things that are not translucent. You'll have to listen to see if we could do it! Refer to episode Floppy Sock to hear us successfully name 5 things that are translucent. If you have an idea for us to name 5 things, send us an email at maskedman@limitedappeal.net. And don't worry - it doesn't have to be a good idea. Then we discuss why tall buildings don't have a thirteenth floor. Or why we should have to pay for a ferry boat with giraffes instead of cash. Damn that Hammurabi!
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Limited Appeal - Cocksure
This is a vegetarian episode, as sadly there is no T-bone in this one. To begin this week, you guessed it, we discuss the word "cocksure". We get a bit distracted during the discussion: we consider the "universal opposite", and discuss why gruntled, flammable, and famous can't be made into antonyms with the usual prefixes. When we try to get back on topic, we end up chatting about "Happy Days". Then we discover the imitative origin of the words "cock" and "Warren". This reminds Warren of one of his co-workers who schedules "evening" meetings at 2 pm. We've censored random words in this discussion for no good reason at all. Our assumption is that your imagination is much funnier than our actual conversation. If you're feeling shitsure and think you know what the opposite of "says" is, email us with your suggestion (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Ballsack
This week we begin with another segment of "Urban Legend", in which Warren guarantees you cancer if you eat 30 mushrooms or 15 000 pounds of bacon every day. T-bone volunteers to test this guarantee in order to trash his vagina. Nope, it doesn't make any more sense when you listen to the full segment either. Then, in the "Nature Walk", Warren describes exhibitionist mammals at a Home Show, and this leads to much discussion about the solo sex lives of non-human animals. Finally, Luc asks what is wrong with masturbating in public. If you think you know, tell us via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Hello hello
John starts us off this week with an epileptic introduction. Then Warren revives a segment we haven't had in a long time by introducing a new, darker superhero. This guy turns 8-track tapes into weaponized bibles. Yeah. You read that correctly. Actually, they're just fucking bibles, but Warren likes to call them "weaponized" because he's a dick. If you think the whole setup is terrible, wait till you hear his name. I want to punch Warren in the neck right now, just thinking about it. If you feel the same way, let us know via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings. Note: We're taking a week off, so listen to this one twice.
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Limited Appeal - Maple Hoofs
Today's episode features the first instalment of our new contest: What am I eating? This contest will stretch over several weeks or months, and each of us will take a turn at stumping the others with clues in the form of audible mastication (I said mastication, you pervert). The winner will receive an as-yet unspecified prize. Feel free to play along, but keep in mind that our audio isn't very good, and you won't win a prize even if you're much better at guessing than we are. Submit your entries via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). After we finish dining, we move on to discuss asymmetry in testicular positioning (except for Warren). Warren claims to have conducted an experiment supporting a theory, and this leads to all kinds of epistemological discussion on the nature of scientific theories, and the covariance between testicular and penile positioning. Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Luc's Special Honey
Starting this week, Luc will be reporting from far afield for the indefinite future. (Translation, his audio is a bit weird, and we don't know why or how to fix it.) This week we determine analogous foods to honey, produced by other animals than bees. Of course, it would help if we had the vaguest idea how honey is made, which we don't. But that doesn't stop us from speculating on this subject and on how bird reproduction works. Then, entirely by accident, Warren stumbles on a rather good analogy for bees, which is aphid-farming ants. The moral of the story: aphids are like bees. To express your appreciation for this insight, email us (maskedman@limitedappeal.net).
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Limited Appeal - Ass Drippings
Just in case you didn't get enough of last week's topic, this episode features more rectal goodness ­ see episode Luc's Special Honey for the preamble. John is surprised to discover that honeydew comes from an aphid's ass, but after some discussion appears to get excited about the prospect of drinking honeydew. We discuss the commercial possibilities and marketing challenges. In the superhero's phone booth, Warren proposes Biowarfare Chick, who mutates viruses after getting their attention, and "sicks" them on criminals. We accidentally stumble on the weakness of her crime procurement strategy: personal hygiene. And the delay between infection and illness. And the fact that every innocent bystander will also probably get sick. If you can think of any other weaknesses in this superhero, let us know by email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Brown Toothpaste
This week's episode starts as an urban legend and ends as an inventions and shit segment. Warren provides a public service by warning everyone about how many poop molecules get stuck to a toothbrush that is left near the toilet, and the conversation that follows is predictably unsettling. In spite of how nonsensical Warren's premise is, we spend a lot of time trying to solve this problem, and even reveal a heretofore top-secret invention by a friend of ours that may involve anal staples. Let us know what you think via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Monkey Futs
OK, all you word-liking bitches, we begin with Dictionary Plus so that we can explore what exactly futs are, either now, or at some stage in the future. Does that description make any sense? Doesn't matter: it's good enough. Then Luc reports on who is winning and how many are dead from the field, where he has just returned from a safari. Apparently, the rhinos are pretty dangerous and require their own rhino clown. But Warren is more frightened of the monkeys. Luc is also afraid of the chimps, but only because of the serious scrotal problems. If you've ever experienced genital discomfort because of an interaction with a non-human ape, let us know via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Reverse Hitler Moustache
In Alcoholics Says, for a change we discuss an alcohol-related story rather than something one of us is drinking. Apparently there's a Russian word for a period of continuous drunkenness that lasts at least two days. Warren somehow thinks this, in addition to the fact that 43% of deaths for men aged 30-50 are caused by drinking poisonous liquids in an attempt to get (or stay) drunk, indicates a problem. What do you think? If you are sober enough to type, let us know via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). If you're not sober enough, perhaps you need to go into training; you can start by growing a moustache. Then we present round 2 of our "What am I eating?" contest. Just like in round 1, it's impossible to hear many audio clues, but we don't let that stop us from guessing. Please play along, and prepare to be amazed by T-bone's culinary dedication! Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Uternal Morning
In this week's Nature Walk, we discuss a quote by William S. Burroughs: "Which came first: the intestine or the tapeworm?" Turns out that the answer depends a lot on how you define a tapeworm, and an intestine, and the word "the". Then we present the inaugural edition of a new segment: Good Idea, Bad Idea. Warren's suggestion for discussion is an early 16th century Mexican tradition that a widow must not wash for 80 days during mourning after a man's death, then scrape off the accumulated crud, wrap it in paper, and give it to the priest. Let us know if you think this practice (or the segment itself) is a good idea or a bad idea by sending us some email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Ass Doozers
After an especially Fraggley introduction, we talk about the most disgusting picture on the Internet, which none of us has seen. Apparently, though, it's nasty. If you have a copy, send it to Warren only in a disguised link. Then Warren asks which of the Golden Girls we would most like as a roommate. We shouldn't have been surprised when T-Bone jumped to conclusions about what being a roommate involves. If you would like to move in with him, let us know via email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Go Go Go
John starts us off by telling us about his frightening visit to a stag the night before the recording, and this somehow turns into a discussion of Warren's influence on the spread of STD's. Then, after a short delay so John can catch up to the rest of us, we move to Polish the Bishop (with exciting new segment music), in which we discuss the possible euphemistic meaning of the phrase "Support the Troop(s)". If you own a male push-up thong, first put on a ball cap for safety reasons, and then please explain why: send us an email (maskedman@limitedappeal.net). Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecutioners and Ipecac Recordings.
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Limited Appeal - Planter Wart Soup
Warren begins by describing the experience of listening to the worst song he has ever heard: "I've got my mind set