Harrys overriding image of the opening ceremony is of sex crazed bell-ringing Lederhosen clad Germans:

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Harry was surprised that the England team complained about the unsporting hot weather in the famous Frankfurt am main desert:

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Harry has been extremely disappointed by the lack of really serious refereeing lunacy (so far*):

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One of Harry?s main gripes is the indiscriminate glugging taking place and has come up with a more dignified solution:

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Harry picks a fight with some big boned Brazilian munchers:

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Harry is convinced that football is a simple game made more complicated by the demands of the advertising industry for ever more flashy and incredibly ineffective groovy moves:

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Harry takes John Motson?s unique obsession with trivia to its logical and frightening conclusion:

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Harry on football?s stereotypical view of German footballers as emotionless but incredibly effective automatons:

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In which Harry, assisted by a group of German doctors, dissects the clinical efficiency of German penalty taking:

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'Have we been here before?'

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