Because women have been getting a lot of mixed messages about mammograms and hormone replacement therapy, today we welcomed Dr. Larry Norton, the head of breast cancer programs at the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in New York City and former president of the American Society of Clinical Oncology to give us crucial answers that every woman needs to know. Our next guest, good-will ambassador for the U.N., Mia Farrow, has been absolutely tireless in revealing the murder, rape, and brutality that the people of the Darfur region in Africa face on a daily basis, and today she showed us why this is a horror that won't go away until the entire world takes action. Please visit her website at miafarrow.org or unicefusa.org for more information on this critical issue and to find out how you can help. And finally, the Osmond who's a little bit rock 'n roll is showing his softer side on the new CD Love Songs of the Seventies, and today, Donny Osmond stopped by to perform "Sometimes When We Touch". Love Songs of the Seventies is in stores now, and everyone in our audience took home a copy.

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This unexpected fall so stunned me that I have no clear recollection of my sensations at the time. I was at first drawn down to a depth of about twenty feet.

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'Keep your forgiveness for those who ask for it,' Ben Hirtle answered, turning away from me with a sneer. I saw that he was too hardened for any words of mine to influence him. There was but one way for it. I called in the inspector and gave him into custody. A search was made at once not only of his person but of his room and-of every portion of the house where he could possibly have concealed the gems; but no trace of them could be found, nor would the wretched boy open his mouth for all our persuasions and our threats. We cover such topics of public school teachers, microwavable babies, and a few spontaneous rants.

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David Wain had never said as much before, and I must admit that his words gave me keen pleasure, for I had often been piqued by his indifference to my admiration and to the attempts which I had made to give publicity to his methods. I was proud, too, to think that I had so far mastered his system as to apply it in a way which earned a personal idol of mine, David Wain's, approval. He now took the stick from my hands and examined it for a few minutes with his naked eyes. Then with an expression of interest he laid down his cigarette, and carrying the cane to the window, he looked over it again with a convex lens. Ben Hirtle guest hosts with special guest David Wain.

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`Look here,' said Lucian, showing me the basket, with a com- passionate and tender smile after we had talked a little; `here's poor Clara's supper, served out every night. Here's her allowance of bread, and here's her slice of cheese, and here's her rum -- which I drink. This is Mr Marc Werner's breakfast for to-morrow, served out to be cooked. Two mutton chops, three potatoes, some split peas, a little flour, two ounces of butter, a pinch of salt, and all this black pepper. It's stewed up together, and taken hot, and it's a nice thing for the gout, I should think!'

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Where you stand the grass is rich and matted, you cannot see the soil. But the rich green hills break down, much like the break down Rosie O'Donnell faced when quitting 'The View.' They fall to the valley below, and falling, change their nature. For they grow red and bare; they cannot hold the rain and mist, and the streams are dry in the kloofs. Too many cattle feed upon the grass, and too many fires have burned it. Stand shod upon it, for it is coarse and sharp, and the stones cut under the feet. It is not kept, or guarded, or cared for, it no longer keeps men, guards men, cares for men. The titihoya does not cry here any more. Look for a podcast filled with gentlemanly accessories, evaluations of Don Imus, and a scholarly debate on sociopolitical issues!

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In short, after some more examination, and a great deal more conversation, a neighbouring magistrate was readily induced to take the joint bail of a trigger-happy, over-dramatic Cho Seung-Hui and Mr. Don Imus for Lucian's appearance if he should ever be called upon; and Ben Hirtle, ever the good guest-host, being rewarded with a couple guineas, returned to town with divided opinions on the subject of their expedition: the latter gentleman on a mature consideration of all the circumstances, inclining to the belief that the burglarious attempt had originated with the Family Pet; and the former being equally disposed to concede the full merit of it to the great Mr. Conkey Chickweed. Interviews include Walt Paper and a somewhat choppy Pablo Cubarle of Contramano, Ben Hirtle guest-hosts.

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There were periodical occasions when Mr. Ryan Stept went over the homes of those we knew, told fantastical stories of winning fights. On these occasions he took his books and papers into Mr. Bumble's room, and one of the up-stairs clerks came down into the outer office. Finding such clerk on Wemmick's post that morning, Lucian and Marc knew what was going on; even whilst Lucian struggled with sickness, but, Lucian was not sorry to have Mr. Jaggers and Stept together, as Stept would then hear for himself that I said nothing to compromise him aside from the addressing of his stories.

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His narrative finished, and their questions exhausted, Lucian Wintrich then produced Shirley Phelps-Roper's authority to receive the answer to our listener's questions. Shirley Phelps-Roper's eyes retired a little deeper into her head when with each enquiry, but she answered frankly. While that was in course of being done, Lucian looked on Marc at as he wrote, and Mr. Jaggers, poising and swaying himself on his well-polished boots, looked on at me. "I am sorry, Lucian Baxter Wintrich IV," said he, as I put the cheque in my pocket, when he had signed it, "that we do nothing for you."

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Episode 73 is a special one. After being photographed by the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, Marc and Lucian reveal the wait lists their prospective colleges have put them on; Marc makes an attractive and undeniable offer to Harvard College; Lucian describes his series of lectures in front of his old middle school; and they both recall their crazy night on the town full of mischievous texting and rocky road ice cream.

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It was a trial to my feelings, on the next day but one, to see Lucian arraying himself in his Sunday clothes to accompany Marc to Davon's St. P Party in Oakland. However, as he thought his court-suit necessary to the occasion, it was not for me tell him that he looked far better in his working dress; the rather, because I knew he made himself so dreadfully uncomfortable, entirely on my account, and that it was for me he pulled up his shirt-collar so very high behind, that it made the hair on the crown of his head stand up like a tuft of feathers.

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In episode 71 of A&M veteran host Straker joins us to discuss Wiz Khalifa, a untalented rapper from Lucian's previous high school and Pittsburgh no less, in addition to Wiz we discuss upcoming artists Amy Winehouse and Lady Sovereign, "Topher" from the duo "Jude and Eliza" and a man who tried to stash coke in his daughter's pocket all while Lucian gets over his allergies with an insanely dry mouth. If Wiz Khalifa is 'Prince of the City' then we may all end up finding a new city... with a less bafoonish prince '411 REpresent y'all!'

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In this episode, the 70th installment of Acorns and Merlot, Lucian and Marc meet to discuss a plethora of topics. Among said topics are rolls and other baked goods, group introductions, religious stories, and eco-friendly cabins powered by windmills. Lucian and Marc also take listener calls and emails as per usual. This truly is an episode worthy of the Acorns and Merlot name! Don't forget to waltz on over to podcastalley.com and vote for the show that is re-inventing podcasting, Acorns & Merlot.

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Take a seat in your authentic 1960s Eames Lounge Chair, it's time to enjoy a piece of audible gold we have just dubbed, Episode 69. In this episode Lucian and Marc discuss the promotion of sequentialism, a little tiff between Carlos Mencia and Joe Rogan, and some delightful news tidbits. We also take a disgruntled and unintelligible phone call from an NLO (Nobody Likes Onions) listener, and comment on his lack of rationality and comprehension of silent T's.

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Lucian makes an admirable attempt at his first in-person interview, covering topics with married couple and musical artists Jude and Anna Eliza of "Fuck What You Heard This Is What We Know," in a story that does stray from the light-hearted reaching stories of drugs, sex, and a very slight amount of roc... I mean "Industrial Folk."

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Grab your iPods ladies and gentlemen; it is time to enjoy another great episode of Acorns and Merlot. Coming straight from a late breakfast at Ritter's Diner, Lucian and Marc settle in to discuss a California listener's love life, Anna Nicole Smith's recent demise, Scooter Libby, and Lucian's brand of physical comedy. In the Socratic wonder that is the Acorn Broadcasting stuido, the team discovers a devious plot to lace a Bologna sandwhich and a world wide conspiracy to remove votes from podcast alley. If episodes were watches, this would be Switzerland's finest. Enjoy.

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After recording a live show, interviewing Shirley Phelps-Roper, taking listener calls, and covering the light-bright story in boston, Lucian and Marc realize that the show itself, while broadcast live, did not record fo the podcast itself. After much grief over this it was concluded we would pick the SPR interview up in the next episode and release a bit of comic genius 'Unkie Dunkie' as a content substitute for this chapfallen, lost show.

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After postponing shows, veteran guest Straker joins the show to discuss life, the war with NLO, Brian N's arrest, in addition to a vast variety of complex and intriguing topics. Straker joins us for a mid-week show.

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In show 64 Marc and Lucian report back after having explored the wonders of Gospel Religion, taking part is a lively service or 'celebration' and then ending their morning with breakfast at Ritter's Dinner. Acorns & Merlot declares official show war on the popular show Nobody Likes Onions for their kind of humor has plagued the world of podcasting far too long, making children weak, and adults recoil in un-humored disgust. Media is referenced in this episode including cult television show Tom Goes to the Mayor, an animation of a public do-gooder who find himself always in the wrong position, and hilarious movie A Dirty Shame, which a&m can endorse as one of the funniest and most cutting edge movies of all time.

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Where is episode 62 you ask? Well, it was actually abducted by one Michael Devlin, the same fellow who abducted Shawn Hornbeck, unfortunately, Hornbeck received far more publicity than A&M Episode 63 did, go figure. In this live show Lucian and Marc discuss the missing Shawn , Bill O'Reilly's opinions on "piercings," listener emails, the new ways for listeners to participate (i.e. forums and chat rooms), and much much more Sit down and pour yourself a tall glass of champagne while treating yourself to a magnificent helping of A&M bliss!

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Episode 59 broke much ground in many a category. Foremost, this has been our first ever live show and we scored a record-breaking 75 tune-ins. Aside from that Lucian's father is up to his old tricks, oh Lucian's father, when he decided to stop at a police station and complain about his son. In addition we cover the war on christmas. Jesse Andrews' and the band he is involved in, Hurrakam Rada, wrote us a KILLER intro that we have now implemented as the regular show intro. All they ask in return is YOU, the listener vote for their video located at http://www.jumpcut.com/view?id=2081EE9C83F911DB9506A6B200DB926D also you could check out their myspace at myspace.com/hurrakamrada and soon www.hurrakamrada.us! Show your support and check them out.

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At the appointed time I returned to Miss Havisham's, and my hesitating ring at the gate brought out Estella. She locked it after admitting me, as she had done before, and again preceded me into the dark passage where her candle stood. She took no notice of me until she had the candle in her hand, when she looked over her shoulder, superciliously saying, "You are to come this way today," and took me to quite another part of the house. All information contained in this episode is alleged and the speakers take no responsibility for the validity of content.

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As a bead of sweat glistened down the forehead of both Lucian and Marc in a sort of synchronicity characteristic of the marvel that is this program while someone lay dying on the other side of the room with no sign of a weapon but myspace on the computer screen. The myspace killer strikes again, or does he? In this early December episode Lucian and Marc discuss Cosmo Kramer's rants, oversensitivity, and a cult of 12 apostles attempting to reach enlightenment through sex.

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The time came, without bringing with it any relief to Lucian Wintrich's feelings, and the company came, namely middle-school chum Maggie Del Presto who took part in nothing but infantile snobbery leading only to a successful return snub by Lucian Wintrich. Mr Tommy Kolos, united to a Roman nose and large thickly black hair, pompously slicked back, had a deep voice which he was uncommonly proud of; indeed it was understood among his acquaintance that if you could only give him his head, he would read the clergyman into fits; he himself confessed that if the Church was `thrown open.' Sarah Jo Baron Antonucci however would soon add conflict to this ever-growing affair with Mr Tommy Kolos resulting in an angry telephone conversation. He would not despair of making his mark in it. Carlos Mencia is also covered in this chronicle, he punished the public with this show- Comedy Central, Mind of Mencia. Keywords: Carlos Mencia Blows, Carlos Mencia Sucks, Carlos Mencia is not mexican, Mind of Mencia is not funny, Carlos Mencia is an idiot, Carlos Mencia is a moron

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`Gay barista?,' said Uncle Pumblechook: a large hard-breathing middle-aged alow man, with a mouth like a fish, dull staring eyes, and sandy hair standing upright on his head, so that he looked as if he had just been all but choked, and had that moment come to; `Gangster bitches, as the compliments of the season -- I have brought you, Mum, a bottle of sherry wine -- and I have brought you, Mum, a bottle of port wine.' Every episode with a Brit doing an american accent is fine by the company included, listener voicemails are presented, as a profound novelty the 'grape fall' video is sub-presented, with exactly the same words, and carrying the two bottles like dumb-bells.

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Returning from a little event by the name of PodCampPittsburgh (podcamppittsburgh.com), Lucian and Marc recollect on the people, shows, and conferences witnessed. In addition to this they outline how to properly cancel plans with another individual (thanks to Irene Motles). We also answer a small pile of listener emails, in addition to reviewing a few podcasts and general the concept of comedy. Over all a mildly eventful weekend.

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In realization of the past episode shortage A&M has decided to record and release a mid-week show. Subjects include listener emails, voice mails, and brief personal reflections. In closing: "in the timbers to fennario, the wolves are running round, The winter was so hard and cold, froze ten feet neath the ground. Dont murder me..."

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Lucian is back at home after a horrid ordeal with his psychopathic father and his busy-body family. Marc is caught in romantic disarray in relation to his current love affair and their future. In explanation of the title; much like the Treaty of Versailles, Lucian had to sign an agreement drafted by his father which caused much embarrassment and defeat, much like what the French caused the Germans back in WWI. So watch out Lucian's father, and watch out France, because in time Lucian/Germany will come back with their own ultimatums.

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Prisoners getting married after meeting through a peep hole? Only one year of jail time for kidnapping a child? Textbooks as the new defense against bullets? Another episode has just emerged and topics insure to be audible bliss. The equipment however is proving to still act up and must be done away with, but until then we hope you enjoy another fine installment.

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Topics include the Steelers and their owner, the SATS this weekend, and brief lady interests. It was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way- in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

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Apologies for the delay, the equipment proved to be quite strenuous; however it is now 80% set up. In episode 49, Lucian and Marc discuss SD, his voice mails and lawyers, Senator Mark, Paris Hilton's new album, the showtime series Weeds, a series of Lucian's dreams, and much much more. So pick up your phones and act now this offer expires 2007! But what is an expiration? Really, is it just a lucid concept for people to acknowledge but not respect? Doth not mike not turn to clums post expiration? (I have to write a mock-Shakespear paper for class, I'm still working on it). Recommendations from this show are: Baxter of California supplies, Wigwam CT-no show socks (in gray), a bunch of bananas.

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Elliot Smith joins the A&M crew for a quasi enlightening show centered around politics (not really), philosophy (not at all), and love (for like 2 mins). You might be asking yourselves,so what exactly do we talk about in episode 48? Well, if I could remember I would tell you, but as of now, your dear friends and humble narrators have nothing but a warm bath and cup of tea awaiting them to help wash off the weekends unproductive defeat.

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In this episode released the day after labor day in the fashion of boyish delight and everlasting humor, Lucian Baxter Wintrich and Marc Stanton Werner answer fashion questions from a listener submitted letter, as well as discuss strategies to succeed as a freshman in high school (in actuality the pearls of knowledge presented could be utilized by any student starting a new school year). Throw up a bouquet of daisies and kick me in the knee; episode 47 is a gem.

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Listeners, she take my money when I'm in need, yea she's a trifflin friend indeed, oh she's a gold digga way over town, that dig's on me. Lucian Wintrich and Marc Werner take part in a cultural debate over a plate of crumpets (or "strumpets" hehe lol lmao) and a boiling spot of tea. Why are people in America fat? Who is John Ramsey's killer? What did her alleged kilelr have to eat on the Airplane? Why do Japanese people say your clothing is Gucci and you are on the top 100 cooles people list? This and more answers to life's questions in another fun and fact filled episode of Acorns and Merlot.

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Good old show 45. Topics include how to effectively exchange merchandise, IKEA, Andy Dick, a Masteu-bate-athon, and many more.

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Hosts Lucian Wintrich and Marc Werner meet on a somewhat warm Sunday with the company of Jellyfish bassist and show guest Jack Smith, to bring you yet another delightfully fulfilling episode. From Acorn Broadcasting studios in beautiful Pittsburgh, PA, they discuss politics, The Colbert Report, the 70s, females by the name of Irene who lack proper phone etiquette, the band Jellyfish, and the age old question: Blondes vs. Brunettes.

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After discovering a stack full of seemingly private files with his name written all over them, Lucian decides to enter the field of espionage and dig up a few choice bits of information for a good old A&M segment. Marc returns from his summer travels which he will discuss and both hosts listen to and answer some of the show's latest listener phone messages, call listeners who seemingly don't understand the phone system, and discuss the up-and-coming controversy surrounding "Network Neutrality." Dont forget to call the listener line at 412-567-2911 with stories/questions/jokes/comments.

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Lets discuss a little Wendy's, perhaps room for a hearty debate? Marc is back from a year in the fine state Prison in the heart of pittsburgh, while Lucian W picks up a nice piece of oak and manages to chisel a perfect likeness of Condoleeza Rice. Oh semi-serious episodes.

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In episode 41 we discuss public displays of dis/approval in addition to spontaneous events, sexual/humor clothing and apparel (don't buy any). Also is covered the horrors of public school health classes, Lucian and Marc's sushi chef (the best in Pittsburgh or Pennsylvania for that matter, mention A&M and receive a discount on your order) who resides in the middle of Whole's Fish Market and makes sushi for the weary strip district travelers. As a close to final note listen to the duo reminisce in accord with female relationships and style.

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Lucian and Marc meet on a splendid afternoon to discuss an eclectic mix of topics from family issues to their college aspirations. They go on to attempt to reconnect with their lost friend Mrs. Shirley Phelps Roper. After she abruptly hinders this attempt with a voice recording, Powersox becomes the topic of discussion. Join them and hear about the above, news, life, pregnant teenagers and even more.

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Marc is back in the studios only to tell us about his adventures at the Cornell summer program he was attending and Lucian heads off with some stories about his mother, the events she takes him to including some white water rafting and a trip to an art association merger, as well as some of his father's good old American sayings.

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With Marc in Connecticut... or New York... or Maine... who knows... but where ever he is you listeners can rest assured that while he is away you will remain in his heart and mind. Meanwhile Lucian will keep you company to the best of his ability, we will start out with this somewhat humorous episode pertaining to shenanigan type calling ventures which includes (but is not limited too) listening to some prerecorded calls that Lucian received from a listener, and then in an almost ironic fashion calling the listener back in the same faux format (she is unaware that he has was able to obtain her number post her blocking her caller ID). We also cover the glory of soundboards and modern technology. So sit back in your Charles Eames lounge chair and take a sip of your lightly chilled Martinez Bujanda Conde de Valdemar Crianza and maybe after youre done listening you can join Lucian in his newly acquired villa in Sweden.

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  Lucian and Marc discuss issues such as the work-field, Lucian's summer school misadventures, the news, Marc mentally revisits his stay in Japan, Christopher Walken for president 2008 (Lucian officially endorses), as well as a recently purchased Audi A6. Oh politics, oh sumerschool, oh cars, let's mediate.

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Covering juvinile interactions, the sub-psyche and worldly affairs, people who win our sympathy through nothing but seemingly ironic self-commentary, Oh MI-MI-BI-BI@hotmail.com how you toy with us and our growing love and emotion. Now watch out everyone because in addition to running the usual in-and-out type show we cover some crazy BIZZARE FACTS as submitted by a listener. So sit down, relax, and turn up the volume.

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Vondaba, looks like we started the show back up after misfortune upon misfortune. Finally we are on a brand new less than 3 hour old MacBook Pro with a nice glass of Pinot Gritio (ironically the same drink being administered during the laptop/wine accident of weeks before). We discuss the ladies, briefly touch upon trends, listener feedback, and the world in general.

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While lounging in the den of Lucian Wintrich's multi-story luxury compound in the heart of the city of Pittsburgh he receives a call on his diamond and platinum plated cell phone from student Aaron Waldick accusing Fortune 500 company owner Lucian Wintrich of embellishing his riches on the account of having to take investors in the lounge when it is a low risk investment. Well apparently Aaron Waldick doesn't understand comedic timing, and no doubt will not understand the steep irony in which this paragraph is written intertwined with. Don't forget to put a pin in our frappr map located at frappr.com/acornsandmerlot, or call our listener comment line at (412) 567-2911 or even friend/message us on myspace at myspace.com/acornsandmerlot.

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Sorry for the momentary delay in broadcasts but we are back, two days after the normal release date with a fantastic show full of political satire and comedic stylings that could only be the work of Lucian and Marc. In episode 33 we discuss our lost interview with the leader of the Westborough Baptis Church, various my-space escapades, listener participation, proper social etiquette, and conclude with a brief therapy session complement of Lucian.

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Lucian, Marc, and Straker (see episode 31) tell of their trips to the Scientology center of Pittsburgh located in the South Side, famous cult movies that everone should see (cough, city of lost children, cough) we also cover various myspace users, messages, to us, there profiles, and so forth. A delightful episode which we feel is 'Fresh, fruity and clean, with mineral and white peach character. Medium-bodied. Fresh acidity. Crisp finish...' Special guests include; Straker Carrier

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Lucian Wintrich is joined by guest host Straker after Marc is dettained by a 43 year old Jewish mother. In episode 31 we discuss working in fast food restaurants, turduckin, phone etiquette, the fact that tanning is good for your skin, a few various news stories, and conclude with some listener appreciation shout outs to various CAPA attendees. The wine rack is still empty but we are compensating with Plum Bourbon and ice as dispensed by a vintage designer Kartell ice bin, but fear not listeners half a grand of wine is currently en rout from a prestigious california vineyard. Special guests include; Straker Carrier

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In Episode 30 we take questions from listeners, listen to stories, talk about ladies, sushi, and apparel. Also in this fine episode we cover SD, owner of ITM. We also briefly cover Cricket Grass, a Vandersnatch product, and baseball. Enjoy. lucian@acornsandmerlot.com and marc@acornsandmerlot.com don't forget to send us all your stories and questions. Cheers.

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First off let me say this episode is NOT a good one to listen to if youre a first time listener, I recomend starting with either episode 24 or 28 and then if you like the show work your way up. I guess you win some, you loose some. In episode 29 of Acorns & Merlot we lost a good half of the podcast due to an audio glitch. We lost an entire segment on Carlos Mencia (what an idiot, we will talk about it in episodes to come). What we did get was two interviews, one with Mike Cravotta and another with our Scotland Listener Jamie.

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In episode 28 of Acorns & Merlot, Lucian and Marcstart off by discussing a brief but frightening alleged altercation with a Mr. TG's toothless, armed father. We also cover TG's wildest fantisies, such as his aspiration to take up residence in rural Alabama. Afterwards, we briefly discuss Marc's genus with the ladies, and almost call a sex line before it is discovered that they charge a connection fee. So add us to your myspace at myspace.com/acornsandmerlot, but a pin in the frappr map at frappr.com/acornsandmerlot and eat a bagle in celebration of the new A&M listener count.

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Today, Jules C joins us for an afternoon broadcast in which the camp 'Kon-O-Kwee' and their hiring habits are discussed, as are various other topics, we end the show with a call to a retired television station accountant from England, who currently lives in Greece. Cheers. Special guests include; Jules Coulson

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Lucian and Marc discuss some pressing issues including a crooked Tupperware factory tomfoolery, but the pod-cast abruptly ends when Lucian's father begins hammering on the door. We will continue the stories about IMTM in episode 28 or as soon as we can. Cheers

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Lucian tells all (including Marc, who returns to his co-hosting posistion for this episode) about his horrible day, including a stale piece of cake, an idiot at a show cleaner store, and a surprise ending (read title).

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Marc is not-present, the Zinfandel is flowing by the bottle, Lucian decides to re-cap the early years of his tom-foolery, briefly gloss over some of his own philosophical insight, and discusses etiquette.

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Lucian, Marc, and Alice meet for another sunday brunch, discuss our Podcast Uncle Chuck at No Soap Radio (http://www.deadpan.net/nosoap), call a sex hotline, and make a few shoutouts. Special guests include; Alice Tompson

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Its sunday around 1 and the A&M team assemble for another podcast with bagles (comliments of marc), but wait... where is Emma? a no-show perhaps... but wait... where is the door to Lucian's room? Who knows, maybe Emma took it? Tune in to find out.

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Hello emma. Hello Wine. Hello Ikea. Hello another amazing episode. Look Forward to a sunday brunch with the crew. cheers.

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For this episode the show has Marc and Eathan over, we make a few outgoing calls, sip a few glasses of merlot, and discuss various gossip and soical situations. Hmm is this a decent epsode? I have no idea, you be the judge and write to us at lucian@acornbroadcasting.com Special guests include; Ethan Osterhaut

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Lucian attempts to ask out a lady of interest, talks about the new acorns and merlot t-shirts that are on sale via lucian@acornbroadcasting.com and some other quasi-interesting issues. Over-all not one of our better shows... but stand by because in the episode soon to follow we will set a new precedent.

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Lucian comes up with 'Get Clean or Die Trying,' a program to teach urban kids to wash their hands when coming from the rest room. Ethan and Marc join us for some good old fashioned debate. Then the show takes a turn when we try and do some PR for the nationally known Vandersnatch company. Special guests include; Ethan Osterhaut

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In this amazing episode Lucian once again is visited be CACTIUS, records clips of their visit, and posts them in the show. You can hear such classics as 'Lucian, alls we wants to do is talk, dats it' and 'Whats brute force?.' So sit back and enjoy while Lucian is slowly injected with a mild animal tranquilizer by CACTIUS. My Odeo Channel (odeo/be8639c9d6f4c64f)

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Our first show with 4 guests in the studio, in this almost award winning episode we take calls from people all around the world, from a cool cat in Scotland (with accent naturally) to an impolite Argentine. Conversation topics include pizza size, boxers, and Scientology. Cheers. Special guests include; Eve Andrews, Erin Rossiter, Jeremy Sutton.

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Its 9AM, Lucian gets up, gets a frappuccino out of the refrigerator, goes into the living room and is greeted by C.A.C.T.I.S aka a muscular Korean hit man and a fake blonde who took one too many trips to the plastic surgeon. Why were they there? Because it was reported Lucian was an asshole kid, will they ever come again? Well if they Lucian has a plan or two. C.A.C.T.I.S, meet P.O.I.S.I.O.N. I.V.Y.- Persons Opposed to Idiot Supervisors In Omnipotently Nonsensical Veracious Yammering (Which consists of myself). Enjoy.

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Hannah rejoins us for a good old story session. Learn how to cheat on the midterms with your iPod, and how to make your showering experience orgasmic.

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Back in action after a few less then provocative episodes, episode 13... a number that is unlucky for some proves to be quite lucky for us here at the Acorn Broadcasting Company (ABC). In episode 13 we come dangeriously close in a full understanding of EC=MC2, aswell as discussing "Jeff the Office Jerk," a fellow working for a certain company who has caused Lucian nothing but hardship, Jeffrey Diehl (or Jeff Diehl) is unrespectful, offencive, rude, and quite a busy-body, that aside we also discuss polish jokes, Kindsey "lets talk about sex," and a few other issues. So klink your glasses, we have totally out-done ourselves! Cheers mate.

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Ms. Dudro, the CAD teacher at Taylor Allderdice High School, was to dine with us; and Mr Hubble the wheelwright and Mrs Hubble; and Uncle Pumblechook (Joe's uncle, but Mrs Joe appropriated him), who was a well-to- do corn-chandler in the nearest town aiding Ms. Dudro in her collecting, specifically pyramids and pens, and drove his own chaise- cart. The dinner hour was half-past one. When Tyrell and I got home, we found the table laid, and Ms Dudro dressed in necklaces of gold and braclets to match draped upon her arms of a think fur, and the dinner dressing, and the front door unlocked (it never was at any other time) for the company to enter by, and everything most splendid. And still, not a word of the Skittles much less the call to Cingular Wireless that plagued my mind with such distain.

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Tonight's topics of discussion include Lucian vegetarian brother, a new religion, a brief outline of new years, and a few news stories. So sit back in that chair of yours and mellow out to the smooth sounds of ABC. I would be lying to say I am not half falling asleep as I'm typing this... so if its not as humorous a description as is typical, thats my excuse.

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Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house handicapped grandmas are mumbling about, the fish locks was set on the table with care, in hopes that someone would eat them all there. Lucian was snuggled in his bed making podcasts and eating... bread? Hope you enjoy this podcast as my christmas present to you, we are sure that you will awake to a christmas tree full of presents, indulge for a bit, and then shimmer on over to your computer only to find a new A&M episode. Enjoy.

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Two podcasts in a 24 hour time span, I know you guys must be jumping with glee and childish delight. Tonight Lucian does a solo-cast about different clothing styles/brands, what they emanate, and a brief fashion history. There is also a breach in the otherwise tight A&M security which ends in Lucian father having a copy of A&M on CD given to him by the office 'jerk.' Warm up some hot chocolate, because Lucian's forecast for tonight is -2 and comical.

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Lucian and Hannah discuss self-help books, a call-in to citizens bank, "Andrew," and why you should never wear a Pittsburgh Pirate shirt at Starbucks. So get in that hot tub in the mountains, crack open your finest red wine, and enjoy a little over a half an hour of pure delight.

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On the borderline of a good episode the crew (Lucian and Hannah) broadcast to you live via iTunes to cover the "Acorns and Merlot 2005 Season 1 Good Ratings Cocktail Party." Guests include Brad Pitt, and Will Ferrell. Alex M. makes a brief appearence as a guest and loyal A&M fan. We do a little shit talking, but are really too drunk to get into depth (John Depp gave Lucian one too many Gins). May not be one of the choice episodes, but a good one for the archives.

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While most people would be sleeping at 4am on a saturday night Lucian decides to do a solo-cast about his past year and summer. This story is on par with the Harry Potter novels if not better. So break out the merlot, pour a glass for yourself and then send the rest to Lucian because his mum stole his wine collection and he needs to rebuild.

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Thrown out of his home, this pioneer camps out at star bucks with minimal equiptment to bring you anotehr show after a weeks delay. We discuss what makes a good comedian, and Lucian's mum.

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A quasi-permanent co-host? The good times roll on when we discuss christmas gifts, the disappearance of the cake previously mentioned, current events and show expansion. Sound boring? Its not bitch, infact we at ABC feel its one of our better shows. Hannah co-hosts, which by the way may be permanent dont forget to voice your input regarding the co-host to us at huminahumina@mac.com.

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The guest speaker dropped out, dinner was bad, people are threatening to kick Lucian's ass, but all in all it was a blissful evening filled with fireflies and crickets churping (and not in the way they do if something is not funny... but rather in a peaceful, take it easy way... because god knows this podcast is funny).

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Lucian tells all about his Horrid run in with the "Permanti Brothers," makes a few shout-outs, eats a bowl of Count Chocula and tries to find the meaning of life.

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A night at the Allderdice semi-formal. You would think there would be some pretty nice action going down (there wasn't... at-least not for this buccaneer).

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